#but anything broken into chapters im like OKAY i can get this part done!
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I forgot Devil Summoner Raidou is structured in case form thank fuck
Something about games being in discrete easy sections to compartmentalize and be like X couple hours for this just. Makes it easier
#rant#idk if its my inability to focus long or the motivation of seeing a section completed lol#but anything broken into chapters im like OKAY i can get this part done!#then even if i stop i feel i can jump back in and get readjusted#mm. actually damn now its significantly less surprising why yakuza games are so Easy for me to play for 80 hours sjjsjd#they are broken into chapters. helps me a fuckton. final fantasy x is broken down by location#spyro is obviously by world. kingdom hearts is by world. devil summoner raidou is by case#nier automata and nier replicant are somewhat harder. but at least for a while they break down by main location#i think any solid chunking of gameplay just. makes it easier
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okay okay im finally finished with both eps and here's my genuine opinion
the cast is 10/10, every single one of these kids knows exactly what they're doing and WHO they are, i can't imagine anyone playing each character better than them
the slight change in Sally and gabe's dynamic gave me a bit of whiplash at first, but the second time watching it, i kinda really dig it better than the books
the way they're portraying percy's feelings of inadequacy and the whole "i know I'm broken, i don't need you to make up stories for me"? fucking devastating, but it fits so fucking well (i can't remember if this is shown as deeply as it's shown here)
sally jackson is the most badass mfer and i fucking love her she is the godly parent fuck poseidon
it's been said before but sally calling percy perseus when she wants him to listen >>>
LOVED how they gave us the impression of percy having riptide while facing the minotaur, only for them to take it away (not really but percy didn't know that) and having percy face the minotaur book style rather than movie style
ANNABETH SAYING PERCY MUST BE THE ONE I SCREAMED
i am fucking loving the way they're doing percy's rage, like maybe it's bc i don't remember it as clearly in the books, but it's so raw, and walker does an amazing job portraying it, but the whole part where he offers food (a thing meant to be for gods) to SALLY, king behavior fr, and that monolog about making his father see them?? actual goosebumps
leah does such an amazing job portraying annabeth's indifference and apparent arrogance, i can't explain how much i love her, like she does it so subtly, it's just little gestures, but she IS annabeth chase (this felt especially cooler after seeing her in interviews, where she's actually really shy irl)
im not going to lie here, and like im sure it was done on purpose anyway, but i am feeling it kinda rushed, and I get it really! they won't waste time in the many chapters spent during camp introducing the world to us, when they've got few episodes, and the whole quest to showcase instead, but like, i would have loved to see percy training with luke (and besting him) and annabeth showing percy around camp (second time we've missed that) and idk just some fun little details, but like i said, i understand why they HAD to rush the intro, so I'm not upset about it or disappointed, just smth to notice
having said that, i really did love the bit of luke guiding percy through several activities trying to figure out his "calling", the callback to percy's horrible archery skills is 10/10
annabeth's yankees cap is fr a yankees cap and im crying
i nearly forgot, but im loving the nightmare sequences, i love how they're keeping the "voice" so faceless and shapeless, but just a light in the darkness of a nightmare, and really it's a great figure, bc a light in a nightmare is usually a good thing, it's the thing you run towards, and it's usually smth that helps you, but here, the light in the darkness is anything but good (quite literally) and he literally taunts percy, and fuels his fear and bitterness, and ugh I love it
the whole capture the flag sequence is 10/10 as well, i can't explain how much this healed me, just like annabeth leaving percy to be bored to death on his own, when she was right there, the transition between luke's "percy's got this" and percy doing the fucking floss dance? cinematic masterpiece, and like the fight sequence was really well done and crafted much much better than many others that rely on slow mo or weird angles, like the fight with clarisse and her spear was gold
dior's scream as percy breaks clarisse's spear alone deserves an emmy
leah portrays annabeth so effortlessly and naturally, I've said it before but i love her
i got like 10 seconds of annabeth interacting with percy and i can already see them together forever ahdjdj
overall 10/10 will rewatch again and again and again bc I'm in fucking love even if it does feel a bit rushed at times and there was the same lack of the hellhound as the movie
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A Different Kind of Eduation: P Is For Pet Play (Chapter 13)
ADKoE MASTERLIST
Pairing: Professor!Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader
Series Summary: After being broken up with for not being kinky enough, Reader seeks out her professor to give her some private tutoring so she can win her boyfriend back.
Chapter Summary: Reader learns a few new tricks in Roger's latest lesson.
Warnings: Modern AU, smut (18+), slow burn romance, dom/sub dynamics, dom!roger and sub!reader, professor x student sex, dialogue heavy, role play, pet play, puppy play, training, holding, fingering, spanking, collar, butt plug, orgasm delay/cumming on command, a bit of degradation and humiliation
Words: 9951
A/N: I think writing is a winter sport for me. Which is part of why this chapter has been sitting at 85% finished for months. But, the weather is finally cooling down here in Aus and this chapter is finally done! I'm excited for ya'll to read it. Hopefully I've edited it enough lmao
(Also, apologies for any formatting weirdness, it's because tumblr now has rules about how many characters can be used before you have to put in a line break or whatever, so I had to go through and break up some paragraphs into smaller sections. It should still be okay but all my fics are also available over on Ao3 if you wanna read them that way)
As always *** indicates the smut scene.
Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave@scorpiogemini
@80s-roger @libsterslobsters @okilover02 @cjand10 @dealorgirl32 @youngpastafanmug @onceuponadetectivedemigod @zeida @demo-wise @yuillfandomqueen @tie-ur-mother-down @rogermyreligionâÂ
(idk how many of you are still interested in this fic so if you want your name taken off let me know, or if anyone wants to be added i can also do that)
âDonât you look professional,â Roger had teased, handing you a rather large glass of water in lieu of the wine youâd usually have, as you got settled in the study. Youâd gone to his straight from work, so were a little more business casual than what he usually saw you wearing. The break from routine threw you off a little but mostly because you were too early for dinner so went straight to the study for your extra lesson. And you quickly got over it.
âSo, pet play,â youâd said once you were settled, prompting Roger to start. âWe touched on the basics last time,â he slipped easily into his teacher mode, seeming totally unphased by the change to routine, âbut was there anything else you wanted to know?â You thought for a moment, âI guess Iâm not totally clear on why people do it. And, like, you said it wasnât always about having sex? I donât really get how a scene with an animal can lead to sex but then also kink without sex sounds paradoxical.â âVery reasonable questions.â Roger tapped his whiteboard marker against his palm as he decided where to begin, âLast week I said that there were any number of reasons people might be drawn to role play and that includes pet play. Different people like it for different reasons. But I suspect thats not really what you were asking about.â You hummed and nodded your head, âYeah, I guess my big question is why animals? Why donât just do the naughty nurse thing or whatever.â
âLook, pet play isnât something I am incredibly familiar with, certainly not when you compare it to other aspects of BDSM, so I canât pretend to be an expert and I can really only speculate on some reasons people might be drawn to it. From what Iâve seen of it and the people I know who dabble in it, I think pet play offers an element of creativity that some other kinks donât always seem to have. Creating your petâs personality or even the costume you wear. Which isnât to say roleplaying as anything else doesnât also have those aspects, but I think for some people working out how to act like an animal can be more of a creative challenge or something more long term than your typical role play concepts. A person sinking money into animal inspired fetish gear is going to be inclined to revisit the role play multiple times, expanding on it, experimenting with it. But really, I think for most people, itâs not inherently about the animal, per se, but the animal opens up opportunities for exploration that other role plays may not. We established last week that part of what may draw people to role play is acting like someone else. You can be more demanding, or more sultry, or more adventurous than you regularly feel. Pet play just pushes that idea a bit further. Depending on the animal you choose and their temperament, it might be as far from you as you can possibly get.â
âMmmm,okay,â âI know it seems a little contradictory to say itâs not about the animal while trying to explain why other role plays may not appeal the same way.â âJust a bit,â âIt is important to keep that in mind though, especially while we discuss how pet play can be incorporated into a sexual dynamic. Itâs not acting out bestiality. Itâs about roles â someone being in control of someone else in a concrete ownership way â and it's about scenarios that connect with the chosen pet. The way people who take on a canine persona act will likely be vastly different from those that take on an equine persona. And the scenes they choose to play out will in all likelihood be quite different too. For instance, a pony play scene might be physically demanding to simulate a racing experience â being ridden, using a crop, that sort of thing â or it might be an exploration of breeding through a scenario where the horse is put out to stud, or, for those who are more into a show horse type aspect, it might be more about dressing up in costumes â masks and hoof mitts or leather bodysuits - and being shown off at live kink events, maybe even performing a dressage inspire routine.â âSorry, hoof mitts?â âA type of bondage gear, not always used for pet play. Basically, theyâre something submissives can wear over their hands or arms as a type of restraint. They make it impossible to hold or grab things and sometimes they can represent animal paws or hoofs.â âJesus, alright.â Roger chuckled, âWe really are only scratching the surface with these lessons. Anyway, another example, cow play also known by the term HuCow, a portmantau of human and cow. Any guesses what that might entail?â âIf you say milking,â âDing ding ding, we have a winner,â âNo way,â you snorted.
Roger shrugged, âItâs not a crazy as it sounds. Lactation fetishes arenât all that rare, which probably says something about the way breasts are viewed and sexualised but thatâs a discussion for another time. But also, it doesnât have to involve actual lactation, it could just be about squeezing the breasts or even âmilkingâ a penis until it ejaculates. HuCow scenes can tick a number of boxes for people. Those with breast or pec fetishes might like it for the emphasis it can put on that part of the body. There is, like with pony play, a potential for exploring a breeding kink, both as a cow or a bull. You can also get into some gender based kinks like forced feminsation and the like. A male identifying person could be made to act as a female cow, maybe dress in a cow print bikini and have their nipples stimulated as if they were being milked.â âHuh. Okay, thatâs very specific. I guess I can see why some animal role plays might appeal to people more than other ones would. So, if we did do something with pet play, would you um, like me to be a, a cow?â âIf you were drawn to the idea, Iâd be happy to explore that with you. But I was thinking something more along the lines of puppy play.â âSo no milking?â you teased, hoping to cut through some of your awkwardness with humour.
Roger smiled, âNo milking, no. The first thing that came to mind was a training type scene. Itâs fairly classic in the world of puppy play but with good reason. Training is a big part of owning a puppy, reinforcing desired behaviours, teaching them what behaviour is acceptable, teaching them tricks. But training can also be part of many other kinks and sexual dynamic. Sometimes itâs intentional training, sometimes more subconscious in just aiming to handle more intense sensations or to explore wider within a preferred kink. Impact play fans might train to be able to enjoy being struck with a crop instead of just a paddle. Someone might do throat training to be able to deep throat more comfortably. A dom might train a submissive to say thank you after a spanking or to ask permission to cum before each orgasm. Weâve done some light anal training in that I gave you a plug and you wore it to help adjust to the sensation and so you could take me better that way. Itâd be my hope that, if you were inclined to try it, a scene about training might be easier to enjoy than something more out there like milking. You donât have to respond yet,â Roger hastened to add, âI still want to answer your second question before we even think about prac.â
You were relieved Roger didnât require an immediate answer and that he hadnât forgotten your initial questions because you werenât sure you could make a decision without knowing more. But you supposed you could also see the logic in his idea and, the way heâd explained it, training didnât seem as scary as some of the other things heâd mentioned.
âSo the second part of your question is a little more complex.â He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts, âYou were curious how pet play can lead to sex when one person is acting like a literal animal. The answer is, the same way any other kink can lead to sex. Remember, itâs not about the animal, itâs about the dynamics. Playing as owner and pet is often just a variation of dom and sub â there's the power element, control, the stuff weâve talked about in nearly every lesson. And, like I said before, the person taking on the pet role is probably also taking on a different personality than normal so that can contribute to the sex. But a large part of the kink community, I would even hazard a guess that itâs the majority, would tell you that any kink can also be fun when thereâs no sex involved. With pet play specifically, itâs a fun excuse to dress up, to play, or curl up with someone you care about and have a nap. It can be comforting to feel as if someone owns you when you wear a collar for them. There is tenderness in having your hair brushed and being petted, feeling looked after and cared for. Pet play can just be a different way to express affection for someone.â âNot gonna lie, that sounds kinda nice.â âIt really is. That doesnât just go for pet play either. It is entirely possible to be in a kinky partnership with someone and never have sex. You will find that every single kink we have covered, someone out there enjoys it in a non-sexual way. Bondage, impact play, sensation play, you name it. Though, of course, different people define sex differently and have different boundaries around it. Go to enough kink events and munches and you realise how wide the spectrums for these sorts of things are.â
âSo like, theyâll just be tied up and not fuck?â Roger chuckled, âYeah, sometimes it really is just about the sensations and emotions involved in being restrained. If you continue to explore kinks after, uh, well after we complete this course, you may find that kinks you considered challenging or uncomfortable become more enjoyable when penetrative sex, or any sexual touch at all, isnât part of it. Itâs just about experimenting and figuring out what you enjoy and then defining those boundaries.â You felt a little sad at the reminder that your tutoring would eventually stop but tried not to show it too much. You figured that, as much as Roger might say he enjoyed teaching you, he was probably also at least somewhat looking forward to their end, just to be done with the risks to his teaching position if nothing else.
âNow, not to completely undercut that idea,â Roger said, pulling your attention back to his lesson, âbut, if you are curious and okay with trying pet play, I was intending on steering it in a more sexual direction. That is the core point of these lessons after all, to learn about kink and how to safely incorporate it into sex. Of course, itâs helpful to keep in mind that what Iâm teaching you isnât the only way to enjoy these kinks and that enjoying being spanked or called names or engaging in role play doesnât require an enjoyment of any sort of sex; but sex is kind of what weâre here for.â âSo what are you thinking then?â âIâve already suggested puppy play but did you have any other ideas yourself? I donât want to tell you what pet to be if there's an idea that interested you or something youâre more drawn to. Role playing as a pet might feel a bit different to role playing as my groupie, and Iâd prefer you to be comfortable with the selection than just to do what I want.â
âI donât know, um, I guess my only thought was just not a cow.â You gave a little shrug, feeling pleased when Roger laughed, âIf you think puppy play is a good staring point for me, then Iâm happy to go with that. How exactly would it lead to sex though? Iâm still not sure I understand that part of pet play.â Roger hummed in thought, âI think obedience and training is a very easy way to incorporate sex into a puppy play scene. I can reward you with physical touch when you obey my orders, or punish you if you donât. Remember, youâre not being a dog youâre taking on personality traits and actions that align with behaviour common to dogs, but youâre a consenting adult who likes being spanked, so, if you want that tonight, I can do it.â âI want it,â you said with an eager nod, the thought alone enough to make you squirm a little in your seat. Roger smiled, âOkay, good. So rewards and punishments can be an easy way to incorporate sex and other kinks. In addition to that though, I can order you to touch me, or to position yourself in particular ways with the intention of turning us both on. I can tell you to behave in ways that will make you feel humiliated or demeaned, which we both know you get off on, or incorporate degrading nicknames that feel thematically relevant, like calling you a bitch instead of a whore. Even just the act of being bossed around will probably contribute. And they donât call it doggy style for nothing do they.â
You realised you were biting your lip, âI like the sound of that.â âI thought you might. Now there are a couple things to go over before we start, just so weâre both on the same page and know what to expect and whatâs okay. Let me know if something doesnât feel comfortable or doesnât sound enjoyable okay?â You nodded expectantly, curious to hear what else Roger had in mind. âNow, while my intention is for this to involve sex, I do also understand how out of your comfort zone a lot of this is, so Iâd want to ease you into it a bit and not focus on sex straight away. Um, Iâm thinking that youâd be in just your underwear to start.â âSounds pretty sexy,â you joked. Roger shook his head but he was clearly amused, âI never said it wouldnât be sexy, just that it wouldnât focus on sex right away. In addition though, and only if youâre comfortable with it, I have a collar with a lead that you can wear.â
You stomach flipped at the idea âOh, um, a collar? Like a dog collar?â âWell, it looks sort of similar to one a actual dog might wear but it is definitely made for a human. I did mention collaring very, very briefly when we were looking at bondage. They can represent a few things but one of the more common reasons behind collaring a submissive is as a symbol of ownership. Not necessarily in a master/slave way, though of course it can be. But if the sub wore a collar to a kink event it would be a very clear signal that that person already has a dominant. And in private it can be a signal that they are still okay with submitting to their dom, that theyâre willing to follow orders or participate in a scene.â âCould I maybe try it on first, see how it feels before I decide?â âAbsolutely, when weâre done here Iâll get it for you. Iâd have some specific expectations too around what you are and arenât allowed to do, things that could contribute to punishments and rewards. Obviously obedience is a major part of this so my expectation is that if I order you to do something, you will do it. Of course, if something is way beyond what you feel comfortable with you can say your safe word,â âPizzazz,â you said at his pause. âVery good, you can say pizzazz and weâll stop. We can stop for good if you want or we can just use it as a pause in the scene to check in with each other and adjust things. Does that sound okay?â âMmhmm, yeah, definitely.â
âGood. My other expectation is that you answer to puppy and pup. I may also use your name during the scene but I may decide to just call you pup, weâll see how it feels in the moment. And in addition to that, I want you to respond accordingly to good girl or bad girl. Now, dogs canât speak so I donât expect to hear much talking from you unless I ask you a question and prompt you to answer with words, or of course if you want to safe word. You can make sounds though, whatever feels natural in the moment. If you feel like barking or whatever, go for it, but if that feels too weird donât worry.â He gave you a reassuring smile, âUmm, anything else? Oh, yeah, uh, dogs also canât walk on two legs,â he laughed a little, âSo, I would also suggest that you crawl around on all fours. And if I ask you to fetch something you should carry it in your mouth where possible. Does that seem reasonable?â You readily agreed. Though the idea of crawling around hadnât occurred to you initially, it made sense and you reasoned that being on the ground would probably contribute to feeling more puppy-ish, or at least more submissive.
âOne final thing, and this is definitely not mandatory but I figured you might be into it. Do you want to wear a tail?â Your mind jumped straight to the box of dress up items your kindergarten class had had including dinosaur tails you could tie around your waist. Surely Roger had to mean something else, âUhh, a tail?â Roger held up a finger, signalling you to sit tight, while he ducked out of the room. When he came back he held up a butt plug that, instead of tapering into the traditional shape on the outside end, was instead decorated with a fluffy tail. âThese arenât always used with pet play and thereâs a few different varieties. Technically I think this one is meant to be a fox tail, but I only thought of it a few days ago so my options were limited. You can definitely get ones that arenât so fluffy, ones shaped more like a cat or dog tail that are thinner, firmer. There are little fluff ball bunny tails, horse tails, you name it there's probably a plug out there. The question is, do you want to wear it?â Your decision came quickly, âIâll wear it.â and then when Roger raised his eyebrows as if asking if youâd really thought it through you added, âI think itâs cute. And I think wearing a plug will help make me hornier which will help me get into the scene more.â
âAlright then,â Roger smiled, handing the plug over, âI also brought the collar over, if you wanted to have a look at it too before we start.â You nodded, though it made you much more nervous than the tail had, and gingerly took it from Roger. The leather was smooth and cool to the touch but the inside was lined with a softer material that you assumed was for the wearers comfort. It had a simple buckle clasp, much like a regular pet collar, and a heart shaped charm dangling from it where a name tag would be on a real dog collar. âCan you help me put it on?â Roger nodded moving behind you to buckle it around your throat. He was gentle, carefully fitting it and checking that it wasnât too tight both verbally and by slipping two fingers under the collar, before he finally fastened it in place. You reached up to feel the soft leather, tilting your head in both directions as you adjusted to the sensation of it. Your fingers slipped down to the heart charm, the metal cool against your skin, and you felt your own heart quicken a little. You put it down to a few nerves now that you were on the verge of trying pet play, though you couldnât totally forget what heâd said about ownership. Belonging to Roger didnât sound too bad.
âWhat do you think of it?â âI donât mind it. Itâs not as uncomfortable as I guess I thought it might be. I guess I probably wouldnât want to wear it all the time but for a specific scene I think Iâm okay with it.â âDoes that mean youâre interested in trying a pet play scene?â âMight as well,â you laughed. You knew he was checking for good reason, that he was just trying to be safe, but it was tempting to remind him youâd not once backed out of a practical lesson, âI donât necessarily think itâll be super my thing but I am curious enough to try it out.â âAlright, sounds good. Why donât you go to the bathroom and get ready then, there's lube in the cabinet over the sink. Just give me a shout when youâre good to go.â You nodded, feeling surprisingly calm, and collected the tail from where youâd set it aside on the desk.
It took you a little while to get ready â a few minutes to compose yourself once you were alone, the idea of acting like a dog suddenly sounding much more ridiculous than Roger had made it sound, and then of course there was the plug to sort out. The collar was a slight distraction too. Not because it was uncomfortable or difficult to wear, though you couldnât exactly forget it was there either. But the sight of it in the mirror would make you stop, your fingers rising to run over the leather. You were kind of amazed that it didnât feel worse. Youâd also dithered about for longer than you might have needed to, trying to decide if you should leave your bra on or discard it since youâd had to forgo your knickers to wear the tail. Roger would probably appreciate it, if not prefer it, if you were totally naked. But then again, the bra would keep your boobs in place which was probably preferable while you were crawling around on all fours. In the end, you kept the bra on though youâd first asked Roger his preference when he met you at the bathroom door. âItâs up to you,â Roger had said patiently, âalthough, I think Iâm much more likely to cum prematurely and ruin my pants if youâre totally naked. Going to have a hard enough time as is.â Heâd dropped his eyes deliberately to your cunt and youâd shifted where you stood, knowing heâd know if you squeezed your thighs together but tempted to do it all the same.
He let his gaze linger on your lower half, as if daring you, before he finally tore his eyes away, âAre you ready?â âYeah,â you nodded, âI think so.â âOkay, then on the ground for me.â You lowered yourself to your knees right there in the hallway, and then to your hands. The carpet was a little rough against your knees and palms, the tail tickling the back of your thighs, but it was easy following Rogerâs instructions and you waited for the next one, hoping heâd keep making it easy for you. âGood girl.â He leaned over you as he said it, a soft metallic sound drawing your attention though you kept as still as you could. âTime for walkies,â he announced as he straightened, âGo on pet.â You crawled down the corridor, your heart thumping as you realised just what a view you were giving Roger as he fell into step behind you. You werenât sure where exactly Roger expected you to go but made an educated guess it would be the bedroom since that was where you usually ended up. It was open when you reached it which you figured meant you were right, however, before you could enter you felt the collar being tugged from behind and Roger tutted, making you stop. A leash was clutched in his hand when you turned to look. âNot in there pet. The lounge,â You nodded, readjusted your direction and set off again, practically able to feel Rogerâs eyes on your arse and wondering if the tail was hiding much from view.
When you crawled through the doorway of the lounge, you were pleased to find Roger had spent his time getting the room ready. The coffee table had been dragged aside, pushed up against the wall so it wouldnât be in the way, and the curtains had all been drawn so there was no chance of any nosey neighbours seeing anything, a couple of lamps softly lighting the room instead. But that wasnât all heâd prepared. âYou wanna play pup? Go get your ball,â Roger pointed towards the far side of the room where a fuzzy tennis ball sat on the floor, as he took a seat on the couch. You obediently crawled around the couch to the ball, lowering your head to pick it up with your teeth. But you paused a few inches from it.
âUh, woof?â you said, feeling rather self-conscious, but wanting to get Rogerâs attention. You succeeded, which you could tell by the way he was stifling a laugh, âYes?â âThis ball hasnât been anywhere near a real dog, right?â Roger shook his head, âBrand new. Iâm not that sadistic.â âJust checking,â you smiled, before picking the ball up between your teeth. You hadnât experimented with gags in any of your lessons with Roger, at least not yet, but you had to imagine wearing a ball gag would feel similar to carrying this tennis ball like you were. It forced you to keep your mouth open, made it difficult to swallow which meant you could feel yourself getting drooly as you crawled back towards Roger. He held out his hand and you dropped the ball into it, finding it difficult to ignore how being on the ground put you closer to his cock. It was a small step from noticing that to realising Roger was beginning to stiffen, and then to realise he was probably at least partly aroused from seeing you drooling with a stuffed mouth and naturally you couldnât help but wonder if he intended to use your mouth at all.
âGood girl,â Roger cooed, no idea what was going on through your head, as he reached out with his free hand to stroke your hair like he was patting a dog. You couldnât help but lean into his touch, the praise making you feel warm and pleased and eager to earn more, although your instant reaction to Rogerâs positive reinforcement made you think maybe heâd had a point when he suggested puppy play. You were turning into Pavlovâs bloody dog, getting aroused whenever Roger praised you. âAlright, pup, you ready to learn some tricks?â You gave an affirmative hum, hoping heâd find it an acceptable response and not demand you bark instead. Thankfully he seemed fine with any non-verbal response because he smiled and moved toward the centre of the room, dropping down to his knees, âHere girl.â At a click of Rogerâs fingers you crawled over to join him, earning another good girl but this time the praise was accompanied by his touch. His fingers dipping between your legs to rub your exposed cunt.
âIâm glad you chose the tail over your knickers,â he said softly, âThink you might be too,â he added as he drew his fingers away, the tips glistening with your slick. You whined in response and nodded. Roger gave you a wink and then he was back to business, âAlright pup, weâre going to learn a few tricks today. Letâs start with an easy one, sit.â You werenât a hundred percent sure what Roger wanted but you thought the most likely option was to rest back against your heels. âSo close, pet,â Roger cooed, his hands firm on your knees as he directed you to open them, âGotta keep your legs spread so I can reward you properly. Letâs try again, all fours now.â You felt a little annoyed at yourself for not realising, and hurried to obey him, eager to show you could get it right.
âSit,â You sat back again, your arse against your heels, the plug being pressed firmly into you, your knees open. Roger took full advantage of your position, his fingers slipping between your pussy lips as he praised you again, drawing a soft moan from you. The sound of pleasure seemed to be Rogerâs signal to withdraw his fingers, âTime to learn another trick, pup. When I tell you to beg I want you to sit just like this but put your paws up,â He physically directed you as his spoke, positioning your hands at chest height, elbows bent, fingers curved over your palms. âAnd whine so I know you need something.â You felt a little silly but whining wasnât too hard since you did want him to keep touching you. âSuch a smart puppy girl,â Roger said as he rewarded you again, each stroke of his fingers making you more eager to have him inside you. âRight, weâre gonna learn another trick now. Lay down.â You bit back a disappointed groan as he removed his touch again, and did as you assumed he wanted, stretching out on your front.
âRoll over,â Perhaps the increasing horniness was hindering your thought process because for a moment you didnât understand what Roger meant. Did he want you to roll across the floor to the other side of the room? How would that be arousing for him? The whole situation seemed suddenly ridiculous and you forgot you werenât meant to speak, âReally?â âPup,â Rogerâs tone was warning, âDo what I say now. Roll over.â âSorry Sir,â you hurried to say as you prepared to roll yourself across the room until he told you to stop, still not sure why heâd be turned on by such a thing but willing to find out. But a full 360-degree turn was not what Roger had in mind. He stopped you once you were on your back, his eyes raking over your bra clad chest and then down to your bare cunt. You felt yourself blushing, partly from how he was staring and partly because you felt silly for thinking heâd jack off to you literally rolling around. Turning onto your back made much more sense.
Roger shuffled a little closer on his knees, âWhen I say roll over, this is what I want to see. But next time I expect you to put your arms and legs up too.â Once again he directed you as he explained, guiding your limbs into the air, knees and elbows bent. âThis way I can see everything I own.â He gently parted your knees a little further so he could easily stoke between them, toying with your clit. âI can properly reward you for following my orders. Or punish you for speaking out of turn.â You yelped as he suddenly spanked your pussy but he was quick to sooth the pain, or at least distract you from it as his fingers dipped into your entrance. You moaned, willing Roger to press deeper, to give you more, catching yourself right before youâd added his name and a potentially pathetic, âpleaseâ. Begging would only work if you kept your words to yourself. But at that moment Roger seemed inclined to reward you, his other hand coming up to rub your clit again as he started working his fingers further into you.
His paused again as his phone began to ring from where heâd left it forgotten on the couch. He rolled his eyes, âignore it, it can go to voicemail.â You nodded, trying to block out the ringtone and focus on how Roger was touching you, his fingers pressing deeper and faster as if he were trying to make up for the annoyance of the phone. "Finallyâ Roger muttered under his breath as the call rang out and the phone fell silent. His fingers were still plunging into you, stroking you just right, pushing you closer to release. Your moan broke off in a disappointed squeak as Roger unexpectedly withdrew his hand, his mobile sounding once more. âJesus,â he sighed exasperatedly as he shuffled on his knees until the still trilling phone was within reach, hastening to deny the call. âRight, where were we?â his voice softened slightly as he turned back to you but a moment later he was swearing as his landline began to ring. You sighed and let your limbs drop to the floor, craning your neck to look at Roger upside down, âMaybe you should take that.â âI shouldâve taken the bloody thing off the hook,â he rubbed the bridge of his nose, âAlright pup, sit.â You dutifully scampered back to your knees, taking up the position heâd taught you. âStay.â You smiled in acknowledgment, a little amused he was continuing with the role play.
Waiting was easier said than done. Rogerâs home phone was corded but the distance from where it hung to the doorway of the lounge was close enough that he could remain on the line whist he paced into your field of view and then back out. You caught snippets of the conversation â heard him apologise for missing the call and that he had company â and tried to work out who had called. âMmhmm,â Roger hummed as he moved back into the doorway, âWell look now's not really a great time for m-. No, of course not.â Roger rolled his eyes and then threw you an apologetic glance. You smiled back, his constant walking making you too wary to move from your position. Heâd told you to sit and stay after all, heâd definitely notice if you rearranged yourself. But the longer the phone call went on, the more uncomfortable you became. Your knees grew stiff and you had to wiggle around to keep from getting pins and needles. Without Roger there egging you on, keeping you in the moment, stimulating you, the whole puppy thing started to feel even more silly than it had at the start. You couldnât deny you were wet (it was hard to ignore) but you felt that was probably more to do with Roger than the scene itself. Although, perhaps you werenât being totally fair in your judgement due to your current rising discomfort. You pondered the lesson so far, trying to work out how exactly you felt about pet play and how it was Roger could so affect you, trying to subtly shift yourself without being noticed. The tail plug was much closer to the forefront of your mind now, firm on one end and tickling you from the other and you were starting to feel a little chilly, close to naked as you were, but worst of all was the sudden realisation you needed to pee.
When Roger next crossed in front of the doorway you waved to get his attention and tried to tell him you were going to the bathroom with a lot of pointing. He didnât seem to understand but he did seem amused, leaning in the doorway and holding up a palm to signal you to stay. You frowned and whined softly. Roger smirked as he said, âoh, I totally understand,â to whoever had called. He seemed to enjoy tormenting you because he stayed there, watching as you squirmed, and you were sure he was letting the conversation go on unnecessarily. At first you tried to beat him at his own game, attempting to ignore your growing need, but that just made you think about it more. You whined in desperation, louder than youâd meant to. As soon as you realised that Roger had heard the sound your attention snapped back to him. He chuckled into the reciever, âNah, Iâm dog sitting at the moment. No, no, I can see her from here, she's fine.â
It was mortifying to think someone else had heard you and you blushed as you pouted at Roger, but he seemed more amused than moved as he revealed he still had the tennis ball and rolled it towards you. At first you just let it sit where it had come to a stop near your knee but Roger clicked his finger and pointed at it. With a sigh you bent over, shuffling back a little so you could pick it up with your mouth again. Roger hummed into the receiver before mouthing a clear, âgood girl,â at you. Unsure what exactly Roger wanted, you tentatively made to crawl towards him, but he stopped you with a raised palm. It seemed he wanted you to just sit there and wait, feeling yourself beginning to drool from the ball in your mouth, but unable to forget your bladder despite your arousal. Finally it became too much and you steeled yourself to beg for permission.
At first you stayed quiet, raising your hands to the position Roger had shown you, adjusting your posture so your back was straight and your chest was pushed towards him in the hopes itâd help persuade. Roger just looked at you expectantly and you realised he wanted you proper humiliated. Squeezing your eyes shut you whined into the tennis ball still between your lips. It took another louder whine before Roger became convinced. âHold on one sec, I think she needs to go outside.â If you hadnât been so embarrassed and distracted youâd have given Roger credit for doing such a remarkable job sounding natural when there was so much laughter in his eyes. He disappeared for a second as he placed the phone down, returning with a snort. âItâs not funny,â you pouted, holding the tennis ball out to Roger. âIt is a bit,â but he took the ball from you, âWhat are you begging for?â âI need to go to the bathroom.â âAsk me again if you can go.â âCan I go?â Roger casually threw the ball to himself, âDogâs canât talk. Ask me properly.â
Silently cursing Roger, you let out another whine, trying to make it sound pathetic and desperate. âDoesnât sound like you need it that badly. Maybe I should make you hold it until Iâm through with my phone call.â You whimpered at the thought and raised yourself a little higher on your knees, hoping Roger would be open to some bargaining. He was standing close enough that you only had to shuffle forward a little to be able to rub your face along the front of his pants, whining and whimpering and pausing every now and again to look up at Roger and check he was understanding. If his arousal had diminished during the break, it was quickly returning. You could feel him as you mouthed around his fly, licking and panting against his hidden length. âOh she is desperate.â He teased, crossing his arms over his chest (which you assumed was to stop himself from grabbing you). âShe must be if sheâs offering to suck me off.â You nodded, sucking on some of the fabric near his tip. Roger hummed, âI do love putting my cock in your mouth. Unfortunately,â he stepped back, âI have a call to finish up. I want you back here and sitting like a good girl by the time Iâm done.â âThank you thank you thank you,â You scrambled to your feet, pausing just long enough to kiss Rogerâs cheek before you hurried past him to the bathroom. âSorry that took so long,â you heard him say as he picked up the phone again, âContinue.â
When you returned to the lounge, bladder in a much more comfortable state, Roger had taken a seat on the couch and was looking at his mobile. âThat was so mean!â you said, moving towards him and perching yourself on the arm of the chair, very aware you still wore the tail plug. Roger laughed, âBut you were such a good girl. And I like hearing you whine.â âShould make you hold it, see how whiney you get.â You immediately realised what youâd said and felt your face warm. But Roger seemed flustered too. There was a definite flush on his cheeks when he said, âWe both know Iâd be into it,â that made the statement all the more sincere and not at all the deflection he was aiming for.
âSo would you also be a puppy? Or a different animal?â You asked, your curiosity beating out your embarrassment. âRoger thought for the moment, âI think I prefer being a cat. I like to be pampered.â You giggled and, without thinking, reached out to scratch the top of his head like youâd scratch behind a catâs ear. Roger leaned into your touch. âAnd, um,â you didnât know what to do next and tried to cover the awkwardness with a question, âwhat would you differently as a kitten compared to a puppy?â âWell,â Roger shifted his hips, âa lot of the basics are similar â with both of them you can have the pet drink water from a bowl or play with toys. With a kitten Iâd expect grooming to be part of it, like brushing my hair. If I wanted to still be more dominant whilst being kitteny, I might stalk you around the house and pounce on you. But usually if Iâm acting as the pet I prefer to be on the subbier side, just being petted and pampered... maybe encouraged to lick my owner.â You felt even more embarrassed at the hints about oral but the thought did cross your mind that perhaps you would enjoy such an act more if it was occurring at your command. Doing it because you felt it was expected or simply to please a lover felt embarrassing and awkward but if you felt in control of it maybe it would be easier to enjoy the sensations. Roger had proven you could enjoy it if certain conditions were met, perhaps being blind folded and dommed wasnât the only way.
*****
It was only then you realised your hand was still in Rogerâs hair, absentmindedly playing with it, and your thoughts switched from how it might feel to order him to go down on you to what other parts of him you could be petting and stroking. Roger was watching you as closely as he could, enjoying the sensation of your fingers in his hair, but whatever was going through his own mind he kept to himself. However his rapidly stiffening cock gave him away a little. You withdrew your hand suddenly which seemed to be a signal for Roger to get the lesson back on track. âAnd what about my puppy? Are you still okay with it?â You nodded, âYeah, lets keep going.â
âAlright, well I really should punish you for getting back here late. You were meant to be done before my phone call finished.â âThatâs unfair,â âNo, thatâs the rules. But maybe you can convince me youâre still a good girl. On the floor, now.â You quickly dropped to your hands and knees, as eager to prove yourself as you were to distract yourself from the weird moment youâd just shared. âAlright, lets see how much you remember. Sit.â You quickly moved into position. âBeg.â You put your hands up and made a small whimpery whine. âRoll over. Good girl.â Each time you followed an order Roger had rewarded you with some brief touch- squeezing your breasts through your bra, letting his fingertips trail seductively along your body, teasing your clit, but it never lasted long enough. âClever pup,â Rogerâs voice was low and gravelly, âback to all fours.â
You were a little surprised, even a little put out that, that heâd not climbed over you, not taken his cock out of his pants, not made any move to fuck you. Thankfully he decided it was a good time to move things along, standing up so you got a good view of just how aroused he was, and moving to kneel behind you. It meant he could better feel you up, able to reach the parts he wanted to touch most with greater ease, his fingers firmer than they had been before. You became a little breathless, the combination of the series of tricks heâd had you perform with how his fingers felt running over and between your pussy lips. Your breathing came harder and before you knew it, you were panting in anticipation, your tongue sticking out over your bottom lip. âFucking hell,â Roger said softly, âOkay pup, show me just how horny you are,â he pushed lightly between your shoulders, guiding you to lower your chest and raise your hips, presenting your arse and cunt to him. He still wasnât in a particular rush though, opting to tease you a little more first. Roger started by stroking the tail you wore and making the plug shift within you before reaching for your cunt again. âSomeone enjoyed being my pet, didnât they pup?â You whined and nodded against the floor, trying to push back against Rogerâs fingers.
He chuckled at how eager you were and allowed two fingers to slip inside you, working them in and out until he could comfortably fit a third. You moaned as he stretched you, trying to help by rocking back against his fingers as much as he would allow. It was distracting enough that you nearly missed the sound of Rogerâs zip coming down as he hurried to get himself ready with his free hand. âBeen such a good girl,â he grunted as he one handedly worked his pants down a little further, âGonna get a very big reward.â You whimpered as his fingers left you, but you knew theyâd soon be replaced by something even better though waiting for it was almost torture, especially when Roger used the slick youâd left on his hand to lube his cock. Thankfully he was more interested in fucking you than toying with you any longer and he only stroked himself a couple of times before he began to sink into you. Your breath hitched as his head pressed into you but it was quickly followed by a moan, echoed by Roger as he sank into your warmth.
He went slow to start, carefully pulling partway out and easing himself back in, testing to make sure you were wet enough that he could move comfortably. He grunted as he sank deeper, âTake me so well, sweetheart. Must really love feeling owned with how fucking wet you are.â You shivered as Roger leaned forward, his gravelly voice getting closer as his cock seemed to push even deeper, the sensations all capped off with a sudden sharp pinch as he lowered his head and bit a spot on your side. It made you yelp, more from surprise than anything else, but you felt yourself clench around his length too. When he straitened up again he was chuckling, âOh pup, you make it so easy for me.â His hands slipped back to your waist, one gently caressing your arse as he moved the tail aside, and gave a quick tug, pulling you into him.
Your breath hitched as he suddenly completely filled you, but he barely gave you time to remember how to breathe before he pressed in again. The temperate test thrusts Roger had given became quick and hard as if his eagerness to have you had won out over his self-restraint from moments before. âOh fu-u-u-ck,â you moaned, voice jolting as his cock filled you again and again, a rapid pace you had no hope of matching. Your arse suddenly stung as Roger lay a loud slap that made you squeal. âNo talking, remember. Still my pup.â You whimpered as he gave you another slap to drive the point home. âJust my horny bitch,â he grunted, âWho practically goes into heat whenever she sees me.â A third slap was swiftly followed by a rough thrust, making you whine and then moan. For a moment Roger shifted all his efforts into his hips, making you squeal with each hard stroke of his cock, Â but then he eased off and another string of slaps landed against you. He made it clear that the spanks were for being late as well as speaking out of turn, which only seemed fair when they felt so good. And then, once he was satisfied, he focused once again on fucking you senseless.
At first you were worried youâd slip up again, accidentally say a word instead of keeping your vocalisations to simple noises of pleasure, and in doing so bring forth another run of spanks that would make you clench but delay the orgasm you wanted. But it quickly ceased to be a factor. Between Rogerâs cock filling you just right and him giving a new order to rub your clit, it was nearly impossible to even think of a real word let along get your mouth to form them. Even when he slowed his thrusts down again you were in little danger of saying anything comprehensible. That was when he decided to put the tail plug to a more specific use than just decoration, spitting on your arsehole so he could fuck you with it. Really all you could do was take what he was giving, whining and moaning, and eventually cum. He did make you work for it though, panting as he told you to wait for permission. Youâd never been made to wait for it before, at least not in this way, and you let your fingers slow their motions around your clit, afraid of hitting your release too fast. But the barrage of stimulation from the plug and Rogerâs cock were enough to get you close. You squeezed your eyes shut and whimpered loudly, hoping Roger would understand what it meant.
âCum, petâ You couldnât do it immediately but you hastily worked your fingers over your clit again, so close but not quite tipping over the edge. You jolted with another spank, âI told you to cum.â Rogerâs voice was low, a little breathless but entirely in control. You whined, as you tried to do what he wanted, though your fingers felt stiff and clumsy. There was another spank and then Roger pressed the plug into you, holding it down as he rammed his cock deep. Perhaps it was the shock of both combined with your frantic rubbing, or maybe he just managed to hit the right spot at the right time, but you couldnât help but tighten suddenly, moaning and shaking as you fell into your orgasm. âThere you go,â he grunted, giving the plug a little jiggle to keep you stimulated as you came. You would have fallen limp if youâd been in another position, but Roger was still filling you and his grip was once again tight on your hips which kept your knees from giving out. Instead you just twitched from the aftershock, and whined when you felt him slowly pull back and sink in again. âStay there, pup, I need to cum too.â The breath youâd only just begun to catch caught in your throat as Roger resumed fucking you, going neither as hard as he had or as slow as you might have liked. He didnât bother with the plug though, focusing only on how your wet cunt felt around his cock. Thankfully it wasnât long before he was holding himself deep, the grunts heâd made on each thrust giving way to moans as he came within you.
*****
âGood girl,â Roger said softly, tapping your thigh gently as he pulled out. He shuffled out from behind you, moving to your side as he tucked himself away, and then sat heavily down on the floor. You allowed yourself to sag too and, knees a little sore, lowered yourself onto your back. âDo you want a hand up?â âIn a minute,â you sighed, the thought of getting up too much to contemplate immediately, âHave you got anything I can cover myself with?â âYou mean you donât want to lie naked on my living room floor?â Roger quipped, simultaneously reaching for a throw that was decorating the couch and then grabbing a cushion as well. You just laughed, tucking the cushion under your head, âSeems a bit unfair that you get to wear pants is all.â âThats the perks of being the dom.â He tapped you teasingly with his foot, âHowâd you find it all?â âIt was interesting,â you thought for a moment before continuing, âI think itâs another kink that like wouldnât be the first thing I would think of but isnât a hard no either. Like, I think itâs probably the stupidest Iâve felt during one of our lessons...well maybe the queening beats it, but still, I felt like a fucking tit at first.â Roger laughed, âYou got into it though.â âYeah I did. And I definitely understand it better now, but it wasnât my favourite.â
He hummed thoughtfully looking over at you with a soft expression you couldnât quite pinpoint, âThatâs similar to how I feel about pet play too. I can be into it with the right person and stuff, but itâs not a go to of mine.â You lay in a comfortable silence for a moment, considering things. Logically you knew Roger had favourite kinks and scenes he preferred over others, but it wasnât something youâd properly thought of before. Maybe because he was so confident and capable at everything heâd taught you so far, it felt like all of them were his favourites. After a moment Roger interrupted your thoughts, âHey, you okay? Not too overwhelmed?â âNo, not at all, just thinking.â You pushed yourself onto your elbows to better see Roger, âAre you good?â
âI am,â Roger smiled, scooting a little closer. âDid you have any other questions regarding pet play? Anything youâre still curious about? âUhhh, yeah I guess so, um,â you instantly felt awkward as you tried to phrase your question, âWhen you wanted me to, uh, finish when you told me to....what was that about?â Roger chuckled, âI sâpose I should have been ready for that question since weâve not actually touched on it in a lesson. I guess itâs mostly closely related to orgasm delay or orgasm denial. Have you heard of them before?â âMaybe? I think Iâve seen denial mentioned online.â âWell, basically itâs when you delay or stop yourself or your partner from having an orgasm. Thereâs a bunch of different reasons to play with it and ways to do it. With our scene, because weâd spent so long working on you obeying commands and performing certain actions when told to, I thought it would make sense, and be kind of hot, if you came on command too. Iâd be happy to do a full lesson on it next time if you want.â
âThat does sound interesting but if I remember your curriculum plan thing correctly, shouldnât we be getting to CNC next?â âOh so now youâre paying attention to my curriculum huh?â Roger sat up straighter and, sensing the shift to a more serious topic, you followed, letting the blanket drop since you were wearing your bra. âThat was my plan yes. And of course we can stick to that original plan if you feel ready to move on. But Iâm also happy to spend more time on other kinks first, even just other role plays. We could play doctor.â You laughed, âTempting offer, I think youâd make a pretty hot doctor. But I do think Iâd like to learn at least the theory of CNC. It feels like an important topic and I think Iâd prefer to do it sooner rather than later.â Roger sighed softly, âYouâre right, we should cover it so we donât run out of time. Iâm just very conscious that this is a heavier topic than anything else weâve covered. Some parts of it might get tough. And I really want to make sure to approach it with the right amount of gravity, without making it seem super scary.â You placed a hand on his knee, âI know that, and I appreciate it a lot.â Roger gave you a soft smile before another slight sigh, âI that case, yes, next lesson will be looking at consensual non-consent. I have been thinking about this lesson a lot actually and I had an idea of something we could a bit different, especially if you decide to go ahead with a practical lesson after we cover the theory.â âDifferent how?â Your question came out of curiosity not concern since you trusted that Rogerâs ideas would be about your safety, but you couldnât think of any ways to change what you were doing. âWell, because weâd potentially be role playing a non-consensual sexual encounter, I thought it might be a good idea to do it somewhere else.â âLike where? A hotel or something?â âNo, no, nothing so public. Um, I have a little cottage a couple of hours out of the city. It was a family holiday house, but it doesnât get used for that as much now. I thought we could go there for the weekend.â
Your breath caught at the idea of going away with Roger but you did your best to keep your voice steady, not too excited, as you asked, âHow come?â "Well firstly, the neighbours are a little further away there so thereâs much less risk of anyone misinterpreting whatever scene we would potentially be playing out and calling the cops on us. Plus, no one there would recognise youâre my student if they did see us together. Not to make it sound like some sort of bachelor pad or sex dungeon, but the last few times Iâve been there it has been for kink hookups so, even if we were spotted together, theyâd probably just assume Iâm bringing another girl over. Plus, because we are looking at CNC, a more unfamiliar location might help make the scene better. Assuming that we did that. Even if we went away, I wouldnât expect you to participate in an actual CNC scene if you didnât feel fully comfortable doing so.â You nodded but didnât say anything, your stomach flipping uncomfortably with a mix of nerves about how serious Roger was being and excitement at the idea of going on a weekend trip with him. âBut, more importantly, I want you to still feel safe in this house. I know CNC is technicaly what weâve been building to but, since youâre so familiar with the curriculum, Iâm sure you remember that it isnât the last topic I suggested. I know Iâm repeating myself but Iâm happy to explore any kinks we havenât covered or revisit kinks we have in the last weeks before the wedding, and I want you to feel okay doing that. CNC can be tough, it can be scary. It can play with sensations and emotions related to rape. And the last thing I want is for you to feel like I have raped you in what was previously a safe space. By moving the lesson to a different location, we could hopefully contain everything in a place that you wonât have to return to.â You nodded soberly, âThat sounds good.â âOkay, well then, this weekend?â âYeah, this weekend.â
#my writing#my fics#roger taylor x reader#roger taylor smut#roger taylor imagine#a different kind of education#its 11.29pm and i have to go to work in the morning oops#i'd love to say the next chapter will be up soon but honestly who knows lmao#i'd also love to get back to my fairy verse fics so idk we'll see what happens
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okay im gonna finally do this đ this is like picking my children though so give me a second
Dear Reader
This One was the first one I wrote where I was like this is my fic. Obviously they are all my fics but this ones just different. All the other ones were always favorites of my friends and so I gave them to them even if they weren't technically gifted to them but this one was all me. It was everything to me. I honestly would get a tattoo of "Stay Close To The Sun" that's how deep my love for it runs. I actually have the stuck note hanging up on my wall and it's been there since I wrote it. (I had to tape it to make it stick but it's there!) There is nothing I would change about this fic. Nothing. It is perfect. It is everything to me. I am gripping it so hard in my palm no one's taking it from me. (and they have tried lmao)
I Might Like You Less Now That You Know Me So Well
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You Don't Get To Tell Me About Sad
My current little sad James fic, and it also was never supposed to happen. I don't like band aus I've tried them... multiple times but it never worked. I had a marylily one, a pandalily one, I had a jegulus one too but it just never stuck. This one though just worked for some reason... probably because it's hardly a band au honestly. There's some music and the fame plays a big part in it later but it's what I do best sad James and hurt/comfort. I also thought I would never write another sad James before this one because the ideas simply weren't coming. This one was even a struggle to plan fully. This is the first time I've made James' sadness run off into anger, and I thought that was an interesting aspect of it to explore. He's trapped and the only way he feels like he can get any relief is through anger. This is also one of my exes to lovers Jegulus fics and oh I love it. I've written three and this might be my favorite in the way that jegulus are never actually broken up. They are barely holding onto that they've always been together since the first chapter even if they're not saying it. This one is just very special to me and since I'm writing it right now it's not fully formed in my head but I know it's gonna break top three with the other two when it's done.
When You Saw That Dead Little Bird (You Started Crying)
THIS ONE! Okay it's from early 2023 and I remember obsessing over it even if it's only 4k. Out of all my one shots this is the one I always go back to and the one I always try to push on people. I love metaphors anyone who reads anything I write will know that and I was obsessed with the Moon Song dog metaphor. The dog, owner, and bird was everything to me I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I was writing this fic from the perspective of Regulus being the "owner" and James as "the dog" running up to him to give him a dead bird (Lucius dead) as a gift. The owner yells at the dog for giving them something awful/disgusting and the dog just doesn't understand why! So that was the original goal... and then well... I lost track of the goal. I was talking to one of my friends at the time about it, how the bird was supposed to represent innocence. That's why the owner is upset, it's awful to look at because it's pure and sweet. But Lucius isn't innocent Regulus doesn't care about the bird being dead he cares about the blood on the dog's teeth. And so James became the bird as much as he was the dog. And then I started thinking about Regulus killing himself in the war and putting all the blood on his own hands to save James from it and he became the dog and the bird too. They're both everything. They're destroying themselves for love. It's the tale of devotion. The tale of being so devoted to something it turns into your end. You might be able to tell why that was so appealing to me :/
Let The Light In
Alright so the last one was harder to choose but I'm going with Let the Light In because aroace Jegulus have my soul. They are everything to me. I remember seeing another fic with an aroace couple who are usually seen as romantic and I just stared at it for so long. I didn't read it I wasn't really into the ship but I was driving to school just obsessing over the idea with jeg. I remember parking like ten minutes early and instead of walking to my class I just sat in the car and sent a vm all about it not even knowing what I wanted just knowing I wanted Jeg in a QPR. What came out of it is everything to me. Jegulus figuring out their sexualities together and growing comfortable with it. James who wanted nothing more than romance his entire life and was grieving the kind he'll never be able to feel. Regulus who wanted nothing of it but attached himself to James anyway because he couldn't help it, and ended up welcoming love into his life. They are everything, and this fic has so many... not so great memories attached to it now looking back but it's still just as light and beautiful. There's just something about them, and I want desperately to write aroace Jeg again one day. They are calling my name.
#they all have their little colors#and I actually picked ones with different colors i did not do that on purpose#anyway#this was fun#sorry I rambled so much#I just have thoughts!#many of them#sorry to dear reader for writing the least about for you#I was trying to hold myself back đ#but i could talk about it forever#the ikea chapter would take up this entire post#that and the first kiss chapter#helios as a whole oh I could talk about them FOREVER#anyways#i'll be good i'll stop myself#jegulus
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bbibbi⊠iâm going to cry⊠no⊠iâm actually tearing up đ„Č i canât believe that btl is over now đ© like⊠time goes so fast huh? iâve never been this invested in an smau before, btl is just THAT smau đđđđ nothing can EVER top it iâm telling you đ but fr, this smau is so beautiful, the characters, the plot, the chats, the angst, literally EVERYTHING đ© iâm going to miss waiting for a new btl chapter to be released everyday âčïž iâm going to miss reading the cuteness, the angst, the silliness, the lovey dovey-ness âčïž iâm going to miss my silly boys and my silly girl silly-ing around together âčïž iâm going to miss cute loser boy wonbin whoâs just so in love with his girlfriend y/n âčïž iâm going to miss pretty lover girl y/n who was kinda late to realising her feelings for wonbin âčïž iâm going to miss snitch shotaro who snitched to the others that wonbin went to ulsan âčïž iâm going to miss overprotective older brother eunseok who now has a GIRLFRIEND??? HELLO??? âčïž iâm going to miss confused giant sungchan who was blamed by y/n for wonbin leaving her âčïž iâm going to miss bubble boy seunghan whoâs literally the president of the ynbin nation âčïž iâm going to miss puffy hair sohee whoâs a part of the ynbin nation and is just a cutie patootie âčïž and iâm going to miss sir anton who SOME people tried to make second lead âčïž fuck⊠IâM GOING TO MISS BTL SO MUCH đ© okay but i can always just reread it so đ€ i just want to be dramatic đ i canât believe that i actually teared up⊠like⊠wtf??? bbibbi⊠THANK YOU for writing this AWESOME smau đ© i love your cute, smart, big brain that is full of wonderful ideas SO MUCH đđđ believe me when i say this but btl is the first ever smau that i fell in love with đ everything about btl was so homely and comforting, i felt so much at ease whenever i used to read the chapters đ© AND i remember ranting to my cousin when ynbin had that HUGE fallout đ babe you had me stressing and shit đ© and iâm so happy with the amount of LOVE and APPRECIATION that btl has received đ„° #DESERVED đđđ reading other anons asks about btl made me so giddy and happy đ the highlights of this journey HAS to be ynbinâs CRAZY fallout and the ynton shippers đ© WHERE DID THE YNTON SHIPPERS COME FROM??? they just spawned out of nowhere đ the b in btl stands for BEST and iâm 100% sure that other anons will agree with me đ iâm actually going to reread it⊠LIKE I CANâT BELIEVE THAT ITâS OVER NOW??? WTF??? heart: broken đđđ soul: shattered đđđ bbibbi đ iâm actually going crazy⊠đ btl ending means that seunghanâs going to come back đ idk what iâm saying iâm just rambling now đ© btl⊠btl⊠BTL⊠âčïž okay but the one year skip fucking caused my heart to palpitate đ UGH đ© i love you btl đđđ SO MUCH đđđ FOREVER đđđ AND ALWAYS đđđ
- đŠ
i jus realized bbibbi is an iu song lmfao ANYWAY-
it's been over 12 hours and i still can't believe its over :( i miss them already đ ive been answering asks and i was like "fuck im gonna update again" BUT WHATS THERE TO UPDATE CHAT đ not too sure about anything can top it... im lowkey liking the plot of wb's second smau thats in the works.. not gonna say much cus its not done yet đ«Ł
mane im already missing backstreet boys dumb shenanigans mixed with wonbin's loser self yearning for yn to like him back bc shes a dummy!! remember when eunseok had to literally knock some sense into her ass.. sigh they were so cute and funny... esp when the boys took it upon themselves to fight the devil (ynbin) themselves like get u friends who bridge you to the person who's right for u!!!
u guys do tell me that u guys feel like ur literally part of the friend group đ thats honestly kinda cute... means i nailed what its like to be with friends *sigh* LMFAO
the ynbin breakup will still continue to haunt yall huh đ the way it got yall talking to ur irls about it (some anons mentioned they were talking abt it to their own friends LMFAOOOOOOOO) crazy ass plot..
THE LOVE BTL GETS IS SO HEARTWARMING I LOVE THAT YOU GUYS RLLY LOVE THIS FIC THE WAY I LOVE IT HUSDHSKHFSDJFHKSD will never get tired of saying that shit fr
NTM ON THE YNTON SHIPPERS LIKE WHERE DID U GUYS PULL THAT ONE OUT OF UR ASSES?????? there was fr a little anon group dedicated on sending asks about ynton becoming canon LIKE HUUUH ... the highlight for me was the poll đ maybe i'll do more plot polls more often just to see everyone spiral and think outside the box đ
idk why i have a strong gut feel hani is coming around soon especially whats going down on the kpop world... KINGHAN COMEBACK 2024
the one year timeskip just to show that they've come a full circle teeheeeeee
thank you so much for reading bambi anon!!!! i rlly rlly rlly LOVED waiting for ur thoughts !! thank you sosososo much for always taking ur time of day to read and share!! <3 LUV YEW
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continue reaction for chapter 13!
Thank you for giving me the best few years of my life. I will never forget your heart. I will love you forever.
i wanna wack alec with those flowers i really do
Cat sighed heavily. âAlec called us. Said you shouldnât be alone right now.â
hes like chocolate i know he can hurt me i cant stop loving yk
Even Magnusâs own brain wasnât his anymore. Because if it wasâthen it would believe the words that Magnus had been repeating for days.
how down bad you are to have your brain turn against you in hating mantra
Well, he would show Alec Lightwood how he didnât need his care anymore.
maybe this all in alec master plan, he could take care of magnus from a distance and evoke spike, which is like one of the most powerful reasons for doing anything
The tune came out all scratchy and broken.
fucking hell-
the next part my doctor also said it hurting me but i let you know im hearing cornelia street piano version while re-reading this again and it hurt like finding out you forgot to plug the rice cooker and its dinner time
âIâm Lieutenant Commander from Navy SEAL. This is about national security. We need to stop a flight from leaving.â Alec lied through his teeth and heard Jace chuckle at it.
sorry to say i would report the shit out of this nobody is abusing power for love on my watch
Magnus could be done with his bullshit and refuse to take him back.
worry not magnus will leave you in the dust in hiadt you'll be more ancient than dinosaur
Simon grinned. âSo what if we didnât get the airport reunion. You can find him in London and profess your undying love while itâs raining. Thatâs a great reunion too.â
why would anyone risk catching a cold for romance ion understand dude ion understand dudeeeee
Tessa shook her head. âNo, Alec. Heâs not out for work. Magnus isnât here. He never came to London.â
finding magnus- the sequel to finding nemo we all been looking for
He spent the next eight hours listening to the album till he reached New York.
going on two eight hours flights back to back...top 10 thing i can never do for a man im sorry yall
He felt suddenly choked up. âIâI really thought heâd be here. I really thought I was home.â
delusion always hurt when wee get ice water splashed to the face
âLong. Had a boring meeting with the execs for my next tour. I swear it could have easily been an email.â Magnus said dramatically.
i would actually sue if i have to write more than 3 emails a day
âYouâd look so hot in a skirt Alec. If you really loved me, you would have done that for me.â
alec pls wear a mini skirt im begging you full two knees
âTwelve.â
damn this lists some megamind shit Shakespeare WHO??!??
âIâm not even one percent sure about anything. Just you. I canât escape you, Alec Lightwood. And neither do I want to.â
the a in alec lightwood stand for addicted okay i'll stop
Alec smiled and grabbed Magnusâs face. âI could spend my entire life with just your memories. But memories have got nothing on you, Magnus Bane. I want the real thing in my life back.â
still remember cheering on alec accidental husband stealer era and now we're at this im so proud (he should steal husband more imo)
jajsjsjsj sequel to finding Nemo had me cracking so hard bro.
Also yes, that list was sone megamind shitâI am extremely proud of it lol. And yes, the A in Alec Lightwood stands for addiction and rightfully so.
Also I would never travel for a man either but itâs okay if a man suffers because of other men itâs to balance the scales jklljshhsll
ALEC ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND ERA JFC HOW FAR WE HAVE COME YâALL
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you were loved the most of all.
Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst
summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?
Chapter 1 of 2
Chapter 2 of 2
He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didnât know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe thereâs something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)
So maybe thatâs why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didnât matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldnât leave you broken. You are used to this. You wonât fall apart.
But you break anyway.
It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you whatâs on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.
âI understand, donât worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know youâre also considering meââ you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but youâre not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Donât be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.
He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. Youâre sobbing now. âIâll be fine, Toshi. Weâll be fine.â
He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. âI loved you then, and I love you still. Itâs just that theyâre no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.â
This only makes you cry harder. Heâs always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, heâs too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, youâll let him be as long heâs close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldnât ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.
âJust for tonight,â you ask, still crying. âCan I stay?â
âof course,â he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.
Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when youâre at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.
Itâs okay, itâs okay. Youâll be okay. Youâll be fine.
You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, itâs so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While heâs still here.
"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.
"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"
Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.
But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.
Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.
--
You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending thatâs just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you mightâve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought theyâve finally found a place for them to stay?
But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldnât be left behind. He didnât decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after youâre no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here wonât do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldnât either.
Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.
Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, youâd rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.
You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"
You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.
You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.
Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.
He wants to sink into his bed.
There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."
There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.
You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.
But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?
a/n
chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)
also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can findđ„Č. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!
#ushijima x reader#ushijima scenarios#ushijima angst#ushijima fanfic#ushijima reader insert#ushijima x y/n#ushijima wakatoshi
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Theory: Stanley Uris was Murdered.
Tagging @vvanini I hope you can follow this okay itâs very word vomity lol
Okay So TW because this post will touch on Stan's death ad the methods behind it
I propose that Stan Uris was murdered. by IT. In his home on that fateful night. I think that Stan posed the biggest threat to IT and therefore IT felt the need to take him out before the battle even started.
Allow me to explain.
Okay, so, I need to lay out some basic "rules" or "facts" before I make my case. They are as follows.
- IT planted it's roots in Derry, and finds it difficult to leave, but still can at itâs own wil. If you read the book (I honestly don't blame you if you haven't) You'd know that once the Losers kill IT for the final time, Derry (the Physical town) is obliterated. Buildings explode, sinkholes appear, things are flooded. The town is in ruins by the time that the Losers leave the sewers. The movies don't adapt this so If this is news to you thats fine. the bottom line is that destroying IT destroys Derry, like ripping a tree out of the ground with all it's roots. Because of this, we can make the claim that while it can Leave Derry (as it does every 27 years) it probably takes tremandous amount of power to do so, which is why IT only goes when the cycle is over. Why does this matter? Well, what if IT left Derry to get to Stan? The murders had stopped for about a week when they're all in the Jade of the Orient. Plenty of time for IT to cross from Maine to Georgia. Side Note: We KNOW IT leaevs Maine to elsewhere in the world because of King's extended universe all interconnecting. it's not far off at all to make the claim that IT is the same evil that haunts, say The Shining's Overlook Hotel, which is in Colarado.
- IT is omnipresent This is also a given, IT lives everywhere, and can fuck with time and space in godlike (or maybe eldritch like) ways. in IT: Chapter Two, when Mike claims "IT Doesn't know I know what I know" he's unfortunately wrong, because we know that IT can be in A) Multiple places at once, B) can manipulate anything on the drop of a hat (See: Stan being teleported away from everyone else in Chapter One, Everything about Neibolt, etc) and C) Knows everyone's deep fears. This is further proven by IT Saying things like "Beep Beep Richie" (although this is Horribly Horribly executed in the films, ugh.) and so on and so forth. On top of all of this, We can make the claim that IT can exist outside of Time as well, given that IT is immortal. SO, what's stopping IT from Knowing Mike was going to call them all back (Espically considering that IT TOLD Mike to do this?). Even if we keep IT's omnipresence to the location that IT inhabits (in this case Derry) IT would still have knowledge of where the losers are through Mike. And if you take the Lucky Seven/Chosen Seven route (oh my god I got theories on that too) you could argue IT knows where they are inherently due to their cosmic status.
- Stan is the "most Powerful" loser So, obviously all the Loser's are powerful, espically considering they're the ones who Defeat IT (Again going on to the Lucky/Chosen Seven theory). This next claim is going to be less focused on what the 2019/2017 Movies do because they are Bad Movies and that's a whole other rant. However, in the book, Stan is (to my knowledge feel free to correct me on any of this) the only loser to Actively ward off and 'defeat' IT on his own without running away. He uses his belief in this what is Real (birds) to ward off what is "not real" (IT). The other losers do manage to take down IT in their own Right, but Stan is ultimately the one to Really get IT. This is because Stan's character revolves around Belief and Willpower. These are, in some form or another, the ways to Defeat IT. the ritual of Chud is a battle of Wills. in the book, Bill takes IT down and Eddie does the final blow. In the Remake (ugh) the losers can defeat it Technically using the belief that IT isn't as powerful as it claims because IT's "just a clown" (Ihatethatfuckingendingsomuchugh). Stan being much more skeptical than the rest of the group in his ability to understand Reality vs IT's illusions is a powermove, and IT knows that ability doesn't go away as Stan grows up, but rather he gets more powerful. Stan is the Only loser out of the 6 who left that has any sort of knowledge about IT, where the other losers have nothing. Bev has nightmares, yes, but she still forgets them. We're told in his chapter (Chapter 3, Six Phone Calls (1985), Part One: Stanley Uris Takes a Bath) that he has some hazy knowledge of his place in the Lucky Seven, and even goes so far as to MENTION it sometimes, even if he doesn't quite remember or understand any of it, his knowledge of IT and Derry is worlds more prominent than that of the rest of the losers.
(page 52 of IT: Â "Stanley, nothing's wrong with your life!" Â "I don't mean from inside." he said. "From inside is fine. I'm talking about outside. Something that should be over and isn't. I wake up frmo these dreams and think, 'My whole pleasent life has been nothing but the eye of some storm I don't understand.' I'm afraid. But then it just... fades. The way dreams do." OR Â page 45: He had been smiling a little. Now the smile faltered, and for a moment he seemed puzzled. His eyes had darkened, as if he looked inward, consulting some interior device which ticked and whirred correctly but which, ultimately he understood no more than the average man understands the workings of the watch on his wrist. "The turtle couldn't help us," he said suddenly. he said that quite clearly.)
So, Stan has some cosmic knowledge of IT and Maturin and his role in the battle against It. What does any of this have to do with his death? Well, let me point out some other things about Stan's death that always stuck out to me. - His death chapter is narrated by his wife, Patty, rather than himself. The other chapters - almost all the other chapters - are narrated by their respective Loser (the caviot for this is Ben, but Ben is also wasted out of his damn mind so its understandable.) - Stan's personality is few and far between in the book, but we know he has a weird little sense of humour and that he's incredibly logical. I think that this logical part of him would be able to understand that Suicide is Never Ever the answer, and that it would cause FAR more problems than it would solve. (the 2019 movie tries to reexplain his death and it's crap and i hate the letters i hate the letters so much im gonna explode) The other losers try to rationalize his death by saying "He would rather Die Clean than Live Dirty (Page 506, Chapter 10, The Reunion, part 3, 'Ben Hanscom Gets Skinny') but he had already BEEN Dirty when he defeated IT the first time, and I think he would've recognized that. - upon finding him, Patty (in her narration) notes that Stan's head is bent back over the edge of the bathtub, so from his sight she would have been upside down. If Stan DID kill himself, why would he be positioned like that? It's unnatural, like someone Posed him. - the cuts on his arms are two length wise cuts. I'm no expert but.. that's suspicious. That's weird. - IT is written in blood on the wall. Why? Why would Stan right THAT of all things? You know who DOES like to paint with blood? IT.
Alright, returning to my thesis statement, Stanley Uris was murdered. Do I think Stan genuinely was going to take a bath at 7pm (which we're told is weird for him)? Yes. I think that's absolutely a thing he could have done or planned to do. Do I think he slit his wrists and commited suicide so he wouldn't go back to Derry? No. Not even remotely.
Let me paint a New Picture.
It's May 28th, 2016, or 1985. Stanley Uris gets a call from Mike Hanlon. Stan is incredibly hesitant to go to, and says he needs time to think about it. Or tht he'll try. He can feel the starts of a Panic attack, and as he's remembering the circles of Hell he went through as a child, he tries to hold himself together. He doesn't want his darling wife to see his break, so he says "I think I'll take a bath" and nothing else before going upstairs. he hides in the bathroom. He closes and locks the door, because, well, he's panicking. Locking doors is one of The Small things he does. Is it usually the bathroom door? no, but still (OCD is a bitch, and even with medication, but this is a special case). He looks in the mirror and tries to breathe. This is fine. He can do this. They killed IT once before and they can do it again. He thinks about his younger self, the promises made, and how he could explain all of this Patty in time to catch a flight to Maine. It's terrifying, but if his friends are going to bite the dust, he wants to be there with them, wedding vows be Damned. Then he looks at his reflection again. A younger, rotted version of himself stares back at him. IT crawls through the mirror. Stan freaks out, obviously. This isn't real. This Can't be real. But IT utilizes this notion against him. It digs it's claws into his arms, and forces him to bleed out in the bathtub. IT then sets the scene nicely. Razorblades on the counter, a bloody signature on the wall, a horrible posture of Stan's neck. So on and So forth. and then IT returns to Derry. IT's a little weak, yeah, but Stan is dead. That's what matters. the Lucky Seven has now Officially broken, and the balance shifts in favour of the clown.
So that's the theory. feel free to correct me on anything or engage I have plenty of theories on this story and I like discussing this stuff :).
#anyways#Stan#stanley uris#Stan uris#mine#Murder Theory#honktheory#thats a tag now I gues ??#pw#analysis#meta
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Missyâs Lesson Plan
Lesson #1 Listen to Her Worries
pairing: marcus moreno x f!teacher!reader characters: f!reader, marcus word count: 3.6k+ warnings: fluff, awkwardness, bonding, summary: dating is hard; dating after losing a significant other is even harder, but Missy is sure she has a foolproof plan that will help her dad and her teacher finally confess their feelings and get the happily ever after that they deserve! a/n: sorry for the wait! since so many people liked it i wanted to make sure everything about this chapter was decent to post, so yaâll have @forevansâ to thank or else this wouldâve been stuck in limbo for a long time lol--also, im about to dub reader and marcus the thank-you-couple lmfao--youâll see why
There are three things you are absolutely sure about in your life.
1. Your name. 2. You love your family. And 3. Missy Moreno is your favorite student.
âTurns out she was just testing us!â She moves around your classroom, picking up scraps of paper and throwing them into the black, durable trash bag sheâs hauling around with her, recounting her heroic tale of saving her dad and the other Heroics with her new super powered friends. âA transfer of power or something. Can you believe it?â
Yes and no.
Your heart had literally jumped out of your throat and blood turned cold when Missy was plucked from school during recessââtaken somewhere safer,â the principal had informed you after you stormed into her office wanting to know where your student was and why you werenât informed.
School was released an hour after that, a way to prepare citizens for the inevitable destruction the Heroics tend to cause in the heavily, populated metropolitan areas, and after making sure every single one of your students had been picked up by a family member, you hurriedly headed home.
You had sat yourself down in front of the television with your mom, worried for Mr. Moreno and the rest of the Heroics (more so for Missyâs dad), feeling completely and utterly helpless.
It only got worse when agents suited in black and white showed up at your doorstep, demanding to know where Missy Moreno and the other super powered children were hiding.
âYou lost them?â You had balkedâyour worry rising to new heightsâfirst Mr. Moreno and now Missy? You didnât know what to do other than demand how a bunch of agents could have lost a group of untrained children during an alien invasion!
None of them answered you, remaining stoic, and if it werenât for your mom, you wouldâve pounced and clawed the closest agent out of desperation.
The agents only left after turning your house upside down in their search for the children.
And then, after hours of waiting, the news showed the Heroics, Anita Moreno, and the children landing in front of the White House, safe and sound. You almost cried from relief in your motherâs arms.
So, no, you canât believe it; but seeing her here, this special girl, that has somehow worked her way into your heart from the moment she walked into your life, safe and sound in your classroom, you do believe it.
But you canât tell Missy all of that when sheâs practically bouncing on the heels of her feet, beaming up at you every few seconds to watch your reactions to her story. Instead, you widen your eyes for good measure and your mouth hangs open. Itâs a little exaggerated, but you really are impressed with Missyâvery much worried, but impressed. âWoah! Iâm so proud of you!â
Her grin is so bright and proud, it makes you chuckle under your breath, your shoulders finally relaxing at the rare, childlike mirth dancing in her eyes.
âAre you going to write about it for your report?â
She shrugs. âMaybe.â
Now that stops you from sorting through the craft supplies, eyebrow raising in surprise. âMaybe?â
âItâs stupid,â she murmurs, focusing a little too much on one area.
âMissy,â you start, patient, âwhy do you think itâs stupid?â
âItâs justââ she shuffles on her feet and then sighs heavily, looking up at you with dark eyes full of doubtââwhat if no one believes me?â
It takes you no time to close the distance between you. You coax the bag out of her hands and set it down on the floor, motioning for her to sit at the desk she had just been pretending to clean. âWhy do you think no one would believe you?â
âBecause I donât have super powers.â Her nose wrinkles, looking away from you and to the whiteboard.
âMissyâŠâ
âI know, I know!â she exasperates, having heard this spiel from you many times before. âIt doesnât matter, itâs never mattered, I get it!â You stare at her incredulously, and she is quick to assure you, leaning forward on the edge of the chair. âI do, really! But Iâit would be useful, you know?â She slumps back, finger rubbing at a spot on the table. âProof, I guess.â
âPowers could always be useful,â you agree with a soft laugh. âBut not always necessary.â She still doesnât look at you, and you sigh softly, a small amused smile forming on your lips. âI know you know some of the most amazing, most brave people are the ones without powers.â
She looks up at you, head tilting and waiting for you to elaborate.
âYou once told me that aside from your dad, your mom was your absolute favorite hero, remember that?â
She nods, a smile finally appearing on her cherubic face.
âDonât underestimate yourself, Missy.â You crouch down to her level. âYou not having powers doesnât mean the rest of the class wonât believe you. They know youâre a leader, they look to you not just because youâre Marcus Morenoâs kid but because they believe in you.â
âI knew it was stupid,â she murmurs bashfully, tanned skin brightening as she huffs and folds her arms over her chest.
âHey, no, none of that. Having doubts or being scared or even jealous is never stupid. Itâs perfectly human,â you assure her, her brown eyes searching yours. âIn fact, I sometimes feel that way too!â
âReally?â She drops her arms and her pout softens. âYou?â
âOf course! Just because Iâm an adult doesnât mean I donât sometimes doubt myself or feel a little insecure.â
âLike what?â she asks, dark eyes curious and wide.
âOof, a lot!â Your eyes roll to the ceiling as you think. âI think⊠one of my biggest doubts and fears is not being a good enough teacher.â
âWhat?â She gasps, jumping in her seat and eyes narrowing with scary determination to get you to believe that: âYouâre an amazing teacher!â
Warmth fills your chest at the sincerity in her voice and eyes. âSee!â You cross your arms over your knees, but Missy takes your hand in hers, and you let her, squeezing her smaller hand in yours. âSometimes, we donât see ourselves in the same light as others do, and thatâs okay. We just need a little reminder every once in a while.â
âYeah,â she drawls, playing with one of your fingers, âI guess youâre right.â
âI know Iâm right.â You nudge her nose gently with a hooked finger and she wrinkles her nose in response. âAnd this is my reminder for you today: I truly believe youâre capable of doing extraordinary things, Missy. Powers or no powers.â
She grins, nudging your nose just as you had. âAnd I truly believe youâre the most amazing teacher ever.â
Yeah. Missy Moreno is definitely your favorite student.
âI know.â You ruffle her hair and she grabs your wrist to push you away, laughing.
A loud thud by the entrance of the class brings you to your feet, spinning in place and firmly placing yourself in front of Missy and the sudden intruderâonly to find a sheepish Marcus Moreno mid trip and hand raised sheepishly.
âIâahâsorry, I was going to knock, but the door was openedââ he says, quickly crouching down to pick up the empty rack you set up for the kids to place their backpacks and lunch on. âSorry.â
Missy lets out an exasperated, âDad!â while your form relaxes (replaced by a new tension squeezing your chest).
Clearing his throat, he straightens up, raising a hand in greeting and an apology. âSorry,â he murmurs again.
âItâs fine, Mr. Moreno.â You offer him a warm smile, ignoring the little butterflies in your tummy. Turning to Missy, you catch a very much exasperated eye roll that only makes you stifle your laughter behind your hand. âCome on, Missy, get your things.â
She eyes her dad for a moment longer before nodding and hurrying to her table shared with Karina at the front of the classroom, a table away from your desk.
âThanks for letting Missy stay.â He scratches the back of his head, his other hand resting on his hip as he shifts his weight. âPaperwork took me longer than I would have liked.â
âA heroâs work is never done, huh?â you joke, keeping your voice light.
He cracks a charming smile, the one that always seems to melt your insides into a pile of goo. âUnfortunately.â
Your eyes move to Missy, who is slowly putting her things away, organizing them and reorganizing. Her head tilts slightly when the conversation between you and Marcus pauses, dark eyes trying to inconspicuously look over her shoulder to get a glimpse of you and her father. Her eyes catch yours and widen in surprise before she snaps her head forward, pretending to be busy but not hurrying her movements, eitherâmuch to your amusement. What is she doing?
Shaking your head and returning your gaze to Marcus, youâre met by brown eyes full of exasperated fondness, an apologetic smile on his handsome features.
âI heard about what happened,â he suddenly says. âAbout some of our agents raiding your home.â
âOh!â You blink owlishly, embarrassment crawling under your skinâwhat else did he know? âYou heard about that?â
âRead about it in the report, actually.â He tilts his head, scratching the stubble on his cheek, and you press your lips together to keep from questioning what else he read in case they didnât add the part about you losing your cool. âI have agents on their way to help clean up any mess they mightâve made and to replace anything they mightâve broken.â
This man is truly a god sent, isnât he? âMr. Moreno, I appreciate it, thank you. You didnât have to do that.â
âI wanted to,â he assures you, firm and kind. âItâs our fault you got caught in the cross hairs.â His eyes fall away from yours, and again, he shifts his weight on his feet as he pushes his glasses back up over the bridge of his nose.
You wait for a moment, but when he doesnât look back up at you, you let out a little defeated sigh, disappointed that the conversation is over. Not that you want to keep talking about agents ruining your home, but you like listening to Mr. Moreno speak. He has the softest, most reassuring voice that makes you feel safe in his presence; like he trusts you.
âWell, again, thank you,â you start as you make your way over to the plastic bin full of craft supplies on your desk and are about to take them to the closet you store them in when warm fingers brush against yours, taking the box from your hands. âOh!â
âLet me help you with that,â he says, soft and rich, warm eyes full of kindness staring into yours.
âThank you,â you murmurâand heâs close, not like when he was sitting across from you as you introduced yourself to him and showed him the first progress report of the year, but close enough that you can see the glints of black and umber in his eyes, tips of his shoes barely touching yours, and a small box keeping your chests from brushing against each other.
âItâs no trouble. Least I could do.â He flashes another smile, and again, your heart melts and you have to physically keep yourself from biting your lips by swiping your twitching fingers over your mouth, eyes darting away from him.
Clearing your throat, you say, âLet me show you where I need them.â
He nods and follows after you, keeping a fair distance even after you point at the empty space the bin was in earlier that day.
âThank you,â you sayâagain! all you do is thank the man!âas he puts away the bin and closes the closet doors for you.
âOf course.â
âOkay, Iâm finally ready!â Missy announces, a little too loud for it to not to be intentional.
âWe should start heading out, then.â His hand settles on Missyâs head, steering her towards the door. âAgain, thank you for letting Missy stayâreally saved me.â
âIt was no trouble at all.â You wave him away, following after them to walk them out.
âThat was painful to watch,â you swear you hear her whisper to her dad, and he shushes her.
Did you imagine it?
âAh, actually, Mr. Moreno, may I speak to you for a moment?â
âOf course!â He pats Missyâs shoulder. âGo on ahead, Iâll meet you down the hall.â
She narrows her eyes at him, as if trying to communicate something to him before nodding and walking off. âSee you Monday, teach!â
âBye, Missy! Have a good weekend!â You wait until sheâs completely out of ear shot, or at least on the other side of the hall to address your worries to Mr. Moreno. âMissy told me about what happened on that spaceship and IâIâm worried. I know what Missy is capable of, trust me, I know. Sheâsâextraordinary. A good kid.â You bite your lip, wrapping your cardigan tighter around your frame, the cold wind brushing against your exposed skin. âBut IâI canât help but worry either way. I know itâs not my placeââ
âNo, no!â He steps forward and a little to the side, blocking the wind from hitting you. âThank you for caring so much about Missy. IâI always feel grateful knowing you care about her and that sheâs in capable hands at school.â
You release a breath you didnât know you had been holding, a huge weight off your shoulder now that you know youâre not stepping on his toes.
âIâm worried too, if Iâm being honest.â His eyes slide to Missy waiting for him at the end of the hall where sheâs rocking on her feet, and you follow his gaze, both of you smiling when she glances up and waves. âSheâs headstrong. Once her mind is made up, you canât stop her.â He chuckles, the sound low and a little self-deprecating.
âI would never ask you to change her mind,â you affirm gently. âAll I ask, is that you look after herânot that you donât already do, because I know you do, but itâs⊠different out there.â
He nods resolutely. âI promise.â
âYou need to stay safe out there, too, Mr. Moreno. I canât keep having two heart attacks in one day,â you tease, leaning against the metal doorframe.
âI promise you, weâll stay safe,â he says it so seriously, eyes locked on yours that it practically steals your breath away. âMissy and Iâweâll protect each other.â
âLike you always do,â you hum into the space between you.
âLike we always do,â he reaffirms, just as soft.
âGood.â You stare at one another for a beat longer than necessary, but you look away first, straightening up. âHave a good evening, Mr. Moreno. Drive safe.â
âYou too.â
You watch him walk away, waving each time he looks back until he reaches Missy. They wrap an arm around each other and with one final wave, they disappear into the stairwell.
Smiling, you head back inside to get your things.
âSo,â Missy starts as they climb down the stairs, âdid you ask?â
âNo.â He sighs, bracing himself for the ten year old judgement (he canât wait to see what her pre-teen and teenage judgement looks like, probably even more brutal).
âWhat?â She pulls away from him as they reach the final step. âNo? What do you mean ânoâ? That was the perfect timing!â
He knows it was perfect timing! There were many perfect moments that he couldâve asked if you were doing anything this Saturday, but no! He just had to get distracted by the curves of your lashes and the way your eyes glinted under the setting sun and how your nose wrinkled when the cold air kissed your nose andââNext time.â
âA deal is a deal, dad!â She reminds him, staring up at him with those eyes that used to remind him so much of her mother, but now theyâre becoming less and less like hers and more her own. âYou said you would!â
âI know, I know,â he whines in mock defeat. âI just⊠what if she doesnât like me?â Itâs a legitimate worry, one that has only grown since Missy started encouraging him to ask you out.
âSeriously, dad?â Her hand connects with her forehead. âItâs so obvious! And besides, how will you ever know if you donât ask?â
âI guess youâre right. Any ideas?â
She cups her chin, thinking. Her eyes brighten. âI do have a plan!â
âAnd what exactly is this plan?â he asks, a little wary of what his precocious ten year old could possibly come up with.
âJust trust me!â She grins up at him and wraps her arm around his waist, tugging him along with her towards the car. âWith my plan weâll win her over completely!â
#Marcus moreno x reader#marcus moreno x you#marcus moreno x y/n#marcus moreno#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal character#reader#reader insert
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Chapter 18
18 + only (sub reader/bucky, dom zemo, first time m/m, collars/leash kink, and more please see masterlist for full warnings)
Warnings and summary - Masterlist
The directions were simple
âGo into the bedroom, you may help one another, and when youâre done getting ready, wait for me on the bed. The collars are in the bottom drawerâŠâ
Bucky follows you, his hands wandering; stroking your hair, your back, your neck. Heâs never going to be able to follow rule three if he keeps this up. You laugh swatting his hand away, trying to avoid his touch as you open the door to the bedroom.
Inside, he watches as you go to the closet and find the items just as Zemo said you would.
âHow do we know which are which?â He asks from the bed.
You turn and grin holding them up.
His is thicker, heavier, and you wonder if these were in the crate Oeznik did not open.
âMe first?â You offer going to him.
âSureâ He says and watches you pull your tank top off over your head and toss it onto one of the plush chairs in the room. Bucky surprises you and finds the zipper of your skirt, pulling it down easily. He tugs the silk organza off your hips with a cocky smile as the fabric falls, giving you a little wink that makes you roll your eyes, giggling with your tongue between your teeth. Oh fuck itâyour underwear comes sliding down your thighs tooâ no use pretending this wonât escalate quickly.
âCome closer.â He says and you stand between his legs.
Heâs breathing hard already, his eyes bright with the excitement.
You look him over thinking about how beautiful he is. This is an established fact stated so many times it doesnât need to be said. But you canât stop looking at him tonight and you know itâs because youâve lived with and loved him for more than a year now. The many connections between you run deep and now youâll share in this singular experience with him. You feel⊠special.
Does he feel hesitant, you wonder eyeing his profile. You did the first time you ever had sex and you desperately want him to know that every time heâs ever tried to play the hero to you, tonight you will be his should he need itâ but James is a lucky man. Zemo actually loves  him. He wonât find himself under some greasy haired, overly perfumed son of a Low Town gangster who thinks heâs hot shit. You hold in a laugh at the memory of your âfirstâ and his sad, selfish attempts to satisfy you.
Watching Bucky from the corner of your eye, you raise your chin and keep close so he can gather the leather around the back of your neck. He buckles it easily, and you feel that familiar sensation of your body waking up. The clink of the metal, the touch of the leather, your nipples perk, you feel the slippery response between your legsâ itâs all nice but you want to focus on him and you hope your desire to care for Bucky as he would you shows through in your own movements.
Pressing the center of the strap to his strong neck, you pull one side and then the other, pausing to kiss his jaw, nipping at his ear, you make him practically giggle involuntarily. He tucks his ear to his shoulder, leaning away from you. You smile and loop the ends, finding the perfect notch. âHowâs that?â You ask softly, running your fingers back around and down his neck.
His eyes close as he smiles. âGood. A little tight, butâ I like it.â How the tides have turned you think, remembering the first time he ever heard those words from you when he reluctantly fastened you into your restraints.
Your smile matches his as you stroke his scruffy cheek. âPerfectâ You quickly unbutton his shirt and smooth your hands under the lapels sliding it off his shoulders and in doing so actually catch a glimpse of a metal loop you hadnât noticed on the back of the collar at first. âOh wait. I think thereâs more.â You say realizing what that other thing was in the drawer. âHang on.â You tell him, leaving Bucky shirtless on the bed.
âWhat is it?â He asks as you go back to the closet and open the bottom drawer. You donât answer but when you return with a matching leash he tilts his head âa little like Zemo doesâ looking slightly suspicious.
âThis is meant to clip on.â You say wondering how heâll respond.
Buckyâs eyes go wide for a second. He pushes his palms to his thighs letting this layer of information settle as he leans in and chuckles shaking his head. âHe thinks Iâm dog now?â He inquires with a brow raised high. He sounds ever so slightly disturbed.
You snicker sweetly âHush.â You say and go to him. You lean around and clip it on, feeling his hands on your ass as you smooth the length of it out. The leash is long, but not overly done. Itâs the perfect length for Zemo to wrap around his hand once and really get a tight grip. âMore like, a puppy. A good boy.â You tease trying not to laugh too hard.
Buckyâs look of outrage does it and you canât hold the laughter in. Still grinning you try to soothe the sting. âIm sorry, Iâm only teasing. Youâre a very grown man with very large muscles who could probably crush everyone on this ship if he wanted. Youâre very scary and we all fear you.â
âOh ha ha. Youâre so funny,â
âAw, okay Iâm sorry. Really.â You say meaning it.
He glances up and you can tell heâs not really mad, youâve teased him about looking like the least intimidating killer before, which truth be told is something you probably shouldnât joke about given the hurt heâs caused but it was never his choice. âListen.â You say and lay your hands on his chest. âI think he made it very clear how he feels about you James.â You say his name so he knows youâre not playing anymore and it works like it always does.
Bucky looks up at you, studying your face for a second or two before he breaks, and looks away flashing the widest smile.
âBy the way. When did you tell him? How you feel I mean.â
He thinks back as if he canât remember. âThis morning.â He says a little awkwardly.
So that explains why he was acting so off and sort of fidgety all day, and why Zemo has been so quiet. âAnd he clearly didnât say it back.â
Bucky looks down as though he still feels the sting of rejection. âIt was ânot good. We were on the top deck laughing about something and I just, well I went for it. I looked him in the eyes, I held his hand and told him. He just stared at me. Eventually he said something like thank you, I think, I dunno, I sort of blacked out a little.â He says looking towards the windows âHe said he needed to âattend to somethingâ and walked away. He kissed me first thoughâ He says with a sad laugh.
âAnd youâve just been acting like nothing happened all day?â You hate that heâs kept it to himself, what an awful thing to suffer through; then again, it is Bucky. Heâs known worse.
âWhat else was I supposed to do?â
âTell me?â
âWhy so you could make it a thing?â
âWell yeah?â
âIâm not a kid.â He says your name and you back down a little âIâm a grown man. Iâve had my heart brokenâ
âAnd put back together.â You remind him.
His eyes dart up to meet yours and slowly his smile returns. You know heâs thinking about the dance and the beautiful moment that followed. âYeah. Turns out he wasnât as ready as you thought he would be. But it didnât take long.â He says sounding a little smug.
âI never had a doubt about Helmutâs love for you. I wouldnât have wanted you to come with me if I werenât sure. So,â You gently pull the strap around letting him see, âwhen it comes to things like this you just have to be honest. He trusts that you will, that we will. If you donât want the leash James, donât have it. Never be too proud to say no.â
Heâs listening and you can see him actually thinking about it. Probably assessing his boundaries and weighing them against his love for Helmut and his level of comfort. Heâs not used to this feeling, you can tell. Heâs so physically strong, there are times he probably feels invincible. Heâs certainly not used to being intimidated by the idea of the unknown. But tonight you suppose itâs more than that. âAre you sure you want this?â You ask wondering.
Bucky leans back surprised by the question. âMore than anything.â He says without hesitation. You exhale the breath youâre holding feeling elated for tonight to become the start of so much more.
âYou look beautiful by the way, you have all night.â He says softly âI meant to say so earlier.â
Damn it Barnes.
Your lips meet in a soft kiss and you lean against his chest feeling small in the warm space between his legs as his hands slowly glide across your back holding you so closeâŠ
The bedroom door opens and you part.
Turning in Buckyâs arms youâre fully aware that together you must paint the prettiest picture. The way Zemo gazes across the room at the two of you, this notion is quickly confirmed.
He has to stop in the doorway and just take it in. Youâve never seen him at a loss like this before. But youâre standing naked wearing the collar he chose for you with your arms around the man he thought he would never have, now in his own soft black leather restraint and that leash held loose in your hand.
You slide it up slowly over Buckyâs bare chest letting it drag across his skin and he closes his eyes against the rousing tickle until it falls over his back. You know damn well what youâre doing as you look back at the Baron with big, innocent eyes.
âGet up.â Zemo says, his already rough voice gone deep like it does when heâs ready to destroy you both.
Bucky gently moves you aside and stands.
âTake off the rest of your clothes.â
You stand beside Bucky watching him strip.
âAnd why are you still standing?â Zemo asks the second Bucky is finished, as if itâs laughable that either of you should think to do anything other than kneel before him. Funny though, he doesnât have say it again before youâre both on your knees.
âSafe wordsâ Zemo says unbuttoning his shirt as he comes closer.
âRapunzel.â
âStreuselâ
âSongsâ He says, undoing his pants, slipping them down and off.
âAnything from the sound of music.â
âPennyâs from heaven.â
âColors James?â
âRed means stop, yellow means slow,â Buckyâs breath catches and you glance over to find the Baron pulling his head back by the hair just a little âGreenâ means go.â
Zemo slowly reaches with his other hand and grips the leash letting go of Buckyâs hair, but he keeps him in this back bent position as he trails his fingers down over Buckyâs face and traces his lips, lowering to kiss him before letting go of the leather strip. Buckyâs soft moan as he melts into the kiss makes the deepest center of your belly quiver as you take a stuttered breath in.
Zemo holds his face in both hands now, the tip of his nose grazing over Buckyâs, his lips gently kissing his closed eyelids and his forehead before leaving him.
Moving silently Zemo comes to you so quickly you hardly have time to catch your breath before his mouth closes in and your eyes roll shut as his tongue finds yours with ease. It is an unexpectedly calm kiss that makes your skin tingle. He knows that when he kisses you like this, you feel both his affection for you and completely overpowered; so much so that you do nothing but submit to whatever it is he wants. He licks the crest of your top lip, presses a soft kiss to you again moaning very quietly and smiles at you.
âSweet girl⊠you taste like James tonight. Have you been kissing him?â
âOnly a little.â
He laughs âItâs all right. I like it.â He lifts your chin holding onto your jaw as he smooths his hand onto the top of your head, keeping it there. He sighs deep in his chest, and you look up at him waiting, wondering if he will show you his gentle sideâŠ
He sighs and smiles at you shaking his head just a little âYou do like to tease me donât you?â He clicks his tongue with a disapproving tsk-tsk. âOh, I will enjoy this.â He pets your head and you watch the way he looks you over; naked, on your knees, willing to be his completely and there is the most beautiful darkness in his kind eyes.
You swallow feeling your throat resist the collar. You want to smile but youâre a little afraid of what he means and you know better than to assume.
âJames.â He says looking over, with you still held close in this slightly awkward position.
âYes Baron.â
âGo to the center of the room, sit and wait.â
âYes Baron,â He says and gets up leaving your line of sight.
His grip on your face tightens. âBeautiful girl.â Zemo says looking back down at you, his eyes wild like they were before he was sent away, âForgive me. I will enjoy thisâŠâ
**
Bucky never looks away from your punishments anymore. Now he watches with a jealous sort of lust that makes it all the better.
His eyes are fixed on you as he waits from his place in the center of the room and you are momentarily distracted by him which is nice because you need a break from the pain.
âYou do like to tease, donât you.â Zemo says circling you slowly. He sighs pretending to feel sorry for you.
Your fingers are interlaced on top of your head and you donât dare put them down again after he gave your palms a slap with the leatherâ how silly that you hadnât considered that the leash could be used against you. Now youâre here paying for underestimating Zemo and your earlier actions.
Your lips and eyes shut tight but you manage to open you mouth and answer him. âYes Baron.â
âI know.â He says, his tone all too cool. He steps in front of you again and you wait breathing fast knowing that itâs coming.
That thin leash strikes the tops of your thighs licking your skin with the heat of fire and you hold in your cries, looking across the room at Bucky whose narrowed gaze shows some ounce of sympathy, but mostly you see how badly he wants to get up, push Zemo out of the way and fuck you.
When the next few strikes criss cross your thighs in a pattern of pain you give in, unable to take more and sink down onto your heels, your shaking breath nearly turning to tears.
Zemo stops and comes over pulling you back up onto your knees by your elbows. âLook at me.â
You wonât
âLook at me.â
You open your eyes but you hate him right now.
âDonât tease.â He says shaking his head. He smiles and kisses your cheek, ignoring your angry face. âBut, I have to admit, you are an incredible dancer. Next time, let me touch the parts I like most, yes?â He asks tweaking the tip of your nose.
You roll your eyes but quickly mumble. âYes Baronâ
He laughs a little and kisses your forehead. âSo feisty tonight,â He says petting your head. âShould we continue until Iâve whipped it out of you?â He asks, standing with the leash dangling in his hand, both the front and backs of your thighs stinging.
âNo! Iâm sorry.â You insist while thinking back to how you shook your ass in the lounge and how you canât wait to do it again. Maybe next time youâll be able to take more of the consequencesâŠ
He smiles stroking your face.
âFine.â He gazes down at you for a little while until you calm and eventually his hand feels as good on your skin as it ever has. âJames.â He calls.
âYes Baron.â
Zemo walks over going around behind Bucky and clips the leash back onto his collar, the sound is soft but chilling. You see the way Buckyâs eyes close and his muscles tense. âCome, letâs make her feel better. I think sheâs learned her lesson enough for tonight.â
Both their eyes are on you.
You watch Zemo take that leash in hand and wrap it around his palm closing it in his fist like you knew he would, but youâre curious if heâll actually take the next step, so you wait holding your breath. Sure enough, as he orders you to lay on your back with your legs spread, Zemo pulls Bucky along making him cross the short distance on all fours.
Holy shitâŠ
âI want to hear her say your name.â Zemo says as Bucky lowers âI want you to make her come like you did while I was away.â
Bucky does not hesitate and your entire body responds to the warmth of his mouth closing in on you. Your toes curl to points, your knees bend boxing him in, your back arches high letting your chin lift until the top of your head is nearly touching the floor.
He licks up the center of your divide parting your lips to circle your entrance quickly, you can hear and feel his arousal as soft, muffled moaning against your wet center and when he slides his hands under your ass and raises you up like a plate to be licked clean you nearly scream.
As he finds a good rhythm it does begin to feel just like New York. Bucky always loved burrying his face between your legs for as long as you wanted him to, there was never a rush, never any pressure to hurry, just this sort of lazy enjoyment that consumed you both.
Helmuts voice sounds very distant as he asks, âDoes it feel good?â He already knows.
âYesâ You sigh feeling relaxed after a while, Buckyâs fingers press into the fleshy parts of your backside and you smile.
The sharp crack of leather on skin makes you jump and your eyes fly open. Bucky gives a surprised but subdued yelp that gets lost against you.
Helmut doesnât want you relaxed, he wants you screaming.
Youâre dropped to the floor and the flicking of Buckyâs tongue becomes a heavy, more determined effort, amplified by the way he moans as Zemo takes a knee behind him and directs his attention to parts of the soldierâs body that you canât see.
So itâs like that tonight.
It might be out of your line of sight, but you can imagine whatâs happening based on the lovely sounds Bucky is making; all those deep moans laced with a hint of pain and you open your eyes gasping as he vigorously begins to suck your clitoris.
From the throws of your rising orgasm, you sense eyes on you and manage to look. Helmut is watching, left hand down busy with Bucky between the two of you.
âLet go, donât hold back.â He says looking in your eyes as you pant. âI like to see it. I like to see the way you nearly cry when he makes your thighs shake and you say his name when you look at me.â
When you moan itâs the sort that youâre not in control of, itâs a response to the things Zemo is saying to you, a reflex that grips and holds as tight as your collar.
His right hand glides across the horizon of Buckyâs raised ass, the leash rolling along with it and you toss your head back and flex every muscle as Barnes puts his all into devouring your pussy.
His head moves up and down as he works his tongue, but it is the sight of that single, otherwise innocuous bit of black leather held by the man in control of it all that sends you over the edge.
âWould you like to come?â He asks his favorite question.
âPlease,â You beg.
He pulls the leash; you feel the loss of pressure which is maddening. That smug little smile on Zemoâs mouth making it both better and worse.
âPlease Baron.â
âDid you ever think of me when he fucked you?â He asks suddenly curious. "When he licked you like he is now?â
âSometimes,â You confess still breathless.
Zemo frowns and pulls the leash harder. The muscle of his arm flexes and you hate him when he denies you a climax but he looks so good doing it. Bucky rises up to sitting to stop from being choked.
On even level with Bucky now, Zemo reaches around to grab his wet chin. âYou were a good substitute soldat Iâll give you that much⊠she does seem ready to come, what do you think?â
Bucky gazes down at you licking his lips slowlyâtasting, you, smelling youâ heâs happier than heâs letting on and you know heâs just thankful for the permission to have your legs wrapped around his neck again. A hint of his own dominance flickers in his eyes. He stares at you with your thighs parted for him, moaning softly as they rock open and shut from wanting more. âYes Baron. She does.â He says and the way they look, towering over you together with Zemo like a dark shadow behind the tightly wound power of Bucky; you bite your lip and swallow hard so ready to be devoured.
âGo on, finish her off,â Zemo says and gives him the slack needed. He pushes Bucky back down and the wonderfully obedient Sergeant dives back in.
The pause only makes the continuation better and when you see Zemo reach between Buckyâs legs again, you feel, not hear Buckyâs response as a deep, heavy moan that vibrates against you.
Your orgasm is nearly instant.
The rhythmic pressure rises until its inescapable; your voice goes high and your body jerks once with the perfect shock of pleasure, holding tight until you melt into the pulsing release, moaning again and again, thrusting against his face until you are shaking and yes, in the end you say his name. Just as your Baron wants. You breathe it, gasp it, reach and pull his hair, shoving his face deeper into the throbbing result of his skilled tongue as you smile âJamesâ You sigh releasing him as you sink to the floor with a shiver so happy to have said it.
In the dizzying afterglow â your arm draped over your eyes, your breath shallow, your legs completely uselessâ you keep your eyes closed until their sloppy kiss breaks the silence.
âAnd now, you taste like herâ Helmut says with a soft laugh against him, followed by the distinct sound Bucky makes when anyone touches him, especially on the underside of his shaft where heâs so sensitive itâs almost cruelâ you really do love that sound.
From under lazy half open eyelids, you watch the smooth motion of Zemoâs hand stroking Bucky a few times. His smiling approval has a warm humming tone as the solider grows harder in his hand, and then Zemo kisses Buckyâs cheek, gets up and leaves him throbbing.
You just close your eyes again, still feeling so high.
Helmuts return rouses you and when you manage to open your eyes itâs just in time to see the blindfold come down covering Buckysâ.
He goes stiff, alerted and resistant for a moment, but Helmut is there whispering to him in Sokovian to calm him like one would a prize stallion. He takes a knee behind Bucky and gently slides the elastic band further down around the back of his head.
With a look of lust and wonder at the man he gets to have, Helmut smiles and smooths his hands down both of Buckyâs shoulders, kissing the metal one as he slips his hand through the space between his arm and waist to lay it flat against Buckyâs stomach pulling him close.
âCan you feel how hard you make me?â His deep voice sounds needy in Buckyâs ear.
You sit up a bit, somewhat recovered from your climax and watch the way Buckyâs pretty mouth opens, how he doesnât know what to say, how his powerful form looks both stronger in his bondage and yet so ready to submit.
âAnswer me.â
âYes Baron.â He says, barely audible.
âAre you afraid of this? Of me?â
âNoâŠâ
âGoodâ His eyes peer down at you in the dark âComeâ He motions with his free hand, two fingers like he does inside of you, âTake him to the bed.â
You stand slowly, accepting Buckyâs leash, raising it high as it can only be done from the back and pull him up. For a moment you feel every ounce of control and power that Zemo must, then you take his hand and lead the man along.
âWeâre at the bedâ You say and lay his hand down letting him feel it. Buckyâs not so timid as you might be without your sight and youâve been in his position many times before, but you can feel him being careful as he follows you onto the cool bedding.
âOn your backâ Zemo tells you not far behind.
You crawl up to the pillows and turn over.
âLegs open, heâll find you.â Zemo says with confidence in Bucky.
âGo to her James.â He says, his eyes flitting from you to Buckyâs profile and along the length of his beautiful form.
For a second you donât think he will, but he does in fact make his way to you and quite easily. Super heroesâ you grin and roll your eyes. Bucky finds your foot and you flinch, giggling from the tickle. He smiles too and gently grabs your ankle, smoothing his hand up to your knee, his fingers reaching and then closing over the curve as he waits to be told what to do with his head tilted ever so slightly as he listens for Zemoâs voice.
Watching from the edge of the bed, Zemo looks distant and detached in a way that sends a chill down your back but you donât mind, thereâs something thrilling in the voyeuristic nature of it. âYou may break rule three.â He finally says.
With a soft gasp of surprise you stare at Helmut a little shocked to hear him say it. Bucky however does not need to be told twice.
He parts your knees and you suck in your bottom lip watching the White Wolf hover over you.
His silhouette is stunning. Just long curving lines of tense muscle and power and that vibranium shining black and gold, reflecting the moonlight from the large windows.
Both his hands move up to your thighs before you can stop him and you hiss from the painâ a reminder of Helmuts earlier punishment. Bucky loosens his grip instantly choosing instead to slide his metal arm under your hips, pulling you down flat onto the bed. You look down between your bodies and see him so hard and so ready that heâs making you eager for it in spite of already feeling spent. He however could go all night.
Bucky lifts your ass while lowering his own to blindly find and spear you without hesitation.
You gasp like the air has been knocked from your lungs. Your fingers dig into the flesh of his shoulder and neck and his open mouth finds yours as he starts to thrust, punching his hips forward. Your loud, awful cries are muffled by his deep kiss. Heâs been craving you since the last time and it shows.
âShe feels so good after she comes.â Helmut says now on the bed with you. âTheres nothing quite like itâ Heâs close, you hear him just over Buckyâs shoulder but your eyes stay shut.
âYesâ Bucky exhales in your ear holding you so tight. âShe feels incredibleâ He moans.
âSo do you.â Helmut says, and you let your eyes open to find him beside you. Heâs watching with the hard look of a man who loves as much as he wants to destroy. It makes you smile before you look away just as Bucky jerks his hips forward drawing a loud cry from you. âDonât stop James. Whatever you feel, donât stop,â Helmut says, his voice fading.
You slide your head over a little and see him behind Bucky running his hand down the manâs back. He then reaches back and you hear the snap of a bottle but you canât see so you close your eyes to listen.
âDonât stop.â Helmut mumbles again.
Bucky disobeys almost instantly. The leash is pulled. The smack to his ass is loud. He starts again and you smile, loving the feel of his ordered thrusting, though it is hesitant. He lets go of you and reaches up, running his fingers over the black satin that blinds him like he might take it off but thinks better of it and keeps fucking you instead.
âYouâve had this before.â Helmut says assuring him that itâs nothing new.
Bucky groans a little slowly grinding against you though he turns his head to the side. âYouâll make me come.â He says, his jaw clenched, voice deep and harsh in warning as he licks his lips, pressing them tight with a tense moan.
âNot yet.â
You stroke his hair where itâs very short at the nape of his neck and nip at his ear, âDonât comeâ You say softly and he turns back to you, the tension easing in his shoulders a little as he fucks you just a bit faster.
âSlowly.â Helmut tells him and Bucky moves his hand in close to touch your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. You kiss it and lay your own hand over his, letting him feel your smile as you moan from the way he moves. âLike before, yes?â Helmut says.
âMmhmâ He agrees.
âJust like before so that you will know what to expect, even when itâs not the sameâ Helmut says softly and you open your eyes. Bucky turns his head left to right, curious, excited and nervous. He opens his mouth and you stare at it, hypnotized by the way he expresses every second of what he feels. He bites down on his lip but lets go just as quickly with a gasp, a moan, a sharp hiss and you feel his cock twitch inside of you.
That, must have been two fingers.
He takes it though, and turns back to you slowly, cautiously starting to draw back and push forward again enjoying the stimulation that will make what comes next easier.
âAre you okay?â You whisper through your own shallow breathing as you kiss along his collar bone and run your fingers down his arms.
âYesâ He damn near growls and kisses you hard.
Lost in the feel of his perfect lips and thick cock, just as he starts to find the perfect rhythm, youâre taken by surprise when you feel Bucky groan deeply. He pulls away, turning his head again and even through the blindfold you can see his deep frown.
With one hand firm on Buckyâs side, his fingers pressing deep into his ribs, the Baronâs words melt into Sokovian and his eyes close. You arenât sure at first, not until you see his right hand on Buckyâs back pushing down just a little and Buckyâs thrust stop completelyâ not because heâs been told to. Then you know.
The sound, god that soft, unmistakable sound of being taken fills the room and for once itâs not coming from you.
You hold your own breath and reach up cradling his face. You want to look into his eyes but the blindfold was put there by the man you both obey and you think you understand why. It has him so keyed into every touch, itâs heightened even the lightest sensation, that you wonder if itâs fair, it must be so intense, but itâs already happening. And you realize that as good as Bucky still feels inside of you the fact that Helmut is almost inside of him nearly pushes you over the edge.
With his hands tight on Buckyâs waist, you listen to Helmut moan deeply as he pushes past the resistance to smoothly but very slowly, inch by inch, fill him.
Bucky is loud in your ear, louder than you thought he would be and you smile holding him tight until he sighs sounding somehow both relieved and overwhelmed.
âItâs done.â Helmut says between tight breaths leaning over him, âAre you all right?â
Bucky nods against you.
With his cock finally sheathed and the two people he loves beneath him, you get a taste of what the future holds as the Baron starts to, in a sense, fuck you both.
Helmut pulls back. You can tell because Bucky shakes his head in protest, just a little. He pushes up between you like he might want to stop but you stroke his face and bring him back down showering him with kisses until your tongues are playfully rolling along and he seems to be reminded of how good it feels to be buried in your tight walls with you flexing and pulsing around him, so that when Helmut thrust back into him again you both moan together.
He pulls from your lips mouthing âOh⊠fuckâ with a stuttered breath and if heâd said it, it would have been a shout.
Itâs enough to make you moan again beneath them and for a second you close your eyes just letting it happen to you instead of being a part of it until his tone changes and you think maybe its to muchâŠ
Helmut pulls the leash and brings Bucky up somewhere halfway between the two of you. âAre you all right?â He asks again reaching to turn Buckyâs face to profile, letting his lips brush his ear. Bucky flashes a breathy smile and nods reaching back, his cold fingers spreading across the top of Helmuts thigh. âYes.â He manages.
Helmut smiles then, thrusting slowly up and in, laying his head on Buckyâs shoulder to make them moan together and the resulting slow return of Bucky's cock into you makes you join them.
Helmut lays a slow line of kisses across his neck, towards his shoulder, one hand curved over the black and gold, the other snaked around his waist and against his solid stomach as he controls himself, fucking him just a little faster now.
Bucky is as noisy as you are. He hisses when Helmut draws back, his fingers gripping harder on the top of the Baronâs thigh. Zemo unwraps the leash from around his hand and pushes Bucky back down wanting to see you both again.
You moan at the feel of him deeper inside of you, but look beyond Bucky to Helmut; heâs so beautiful with his brow furrowed as he fucks. He looks down at you, legs spread, pussy filled with another manâs cock. He loves it and reaches for you and you for him, your fingers finding one another to interlace. He looks deep into your eyes, his gaze fixed and he refuses to break the link between you even as he bluntly thrust into Bucky until any notion of his âfirst timeâ is completely destroyed. Bucky so perfectly becomes this submissive, moaning mess between you.
âPlease,â He gasps, your fingers tracing his collar as he raises up âPlease, I canât hold back.â
Helmut just leans over him sighing against his back, holding him tight.
âItâs too muchâ Bucky says and you try not to moan but the weight of Helmut pushes Him into you and he feels so good.
âDo you want me to come?â Helmut asks sitting up.
âYesâ Bucky answers.â
âAnd would you like to come?â
âYes. Please!â He pleads.
Helmut smiles at you, quickly taking your hand to kiss your fingers before letting go and grabbing Buckyâs waist to hold him down. He draws back and snaps his hips forward making the man truly cry out for the first time and you wrap your arms around his neck feeling yourself pulse. You try to hold back too.
Helmut moans deeply enough to get your attention but when you open your eyes and see the look on his face, you know itâs not over yet.
âBeg.â He demands
âPlease.â Bucky says in your arms.
âLouder.â
âPlease may I come.â
Helmut leans down, his cock drawing back and out, Buckyâs head raising as he does his mouth open looking anxious.
âLouder.â He shoves forward again driving into him which pushes him deeper into you and you press your forehead into his his chest as Bucky nearly cries into the pillow.
âPlease Baron.â He actually begs. âPlease, I canât take it⊠I canât take more.â And you can hear it in his voice, heâs not talking about the denial.
âYes.â Zemo exhales in his ear. âYes come.â
Bucky pushes up showing just a fraction of his strength, and you truly donât know who is fucking who harder.
Someone has taken hold of your ankles, some else is pushing down on your knees. Buckyâs body flexes and he thrust deep, pushed further by Zemo. He moans through a clenched jaw going stiff before the pulse and warm rush which sends you over the edge with your own climax and you gasp as you cling to him wondering if youâll always come together now.
The familiar sound of Helmut sighing loudly and breathing hard tells you that heâs only a second behind the two of you. You wish you could touch himâŠ
Bucky is very still as it happens. You watch him openly accept Helmutâs warm ropes of come. You watch him feel exactly what you do right now, what you have countless timesâ that explosive finalization of being claimed by the man who dominates you so perfectly.
And when the heavy breathing slows, when everyone calms a bit, when you all start to ease back and awayâ itâs over.
âBuckyâ You whisper.
He turns his head towards your voice and knows the tone. Its how you say his name when youâre worried. He smiles a little and leans down to kiss you lightly. Good. Heâs not broken.
But maybe you areâŠ
You canât move, you donât even want to try, you just wait until the layers of bodies fall away and the cool bedroom air hits your skin and slowly, scared to know what shape your lower half is in, you close your legs, feeling the deep ache in your hips. Your body is spent.
Time passes slowly before you move again and when you do, you prop yourself up onto your elbow somewhat surprised to find Helmut beside you and not Bucky. Heâs on the other side lying on his stomach.
The blindfold is on the pillow and his eyes are open. His unfocused gaze seems a little shaken but at least heâs smiling.
âDid we hurt you?â He asks blinking and glancing up when he notices you staring.
Still the damn hero. After all that. âNo Bucky.â You smile and roll your eyes laying back down, curling up beside the Baron who rubs your thigh. âYou didnât hurt me.â
You sigh deeply and let your mind go blank closing your eyes again, welcoming the calming silence.
**
âJamesâ You hear from the edge of the bed.
You must have fallen asleep.
You think Bucky might have too, but you canât tell. He looks down and Helmut motions for him.
Heâs moving slow, rubbing his eyes, groaning as he twists onto his back, but Bucky does finally go and sit beside him.
Helmut motions for him to lower his head which he does and gently he unclips the leash and takes the collar from around his neck, pulling it free.
Bucky raises his head looking into those soft brown eyes for a while, the unspoken affection enough for a moment until he slowly folds into the Baronâs arms.
You turn onto your back wincing from all of your aches listening to their softly spoken words some of which are so low that you canât make out exactly what theyâre saying and thatâs okayâ but what you can hear is everything it should be.
âNot always.â Zemo is saying in answer to a question you missed. His arm is still around Buckyâs shoulders. âWhatever you want is what Iâll give you. You know my nature and I know yours but, never forget my many sides James.â He teases calling back to the earlier conversation.
Bucky sits up âI havenât. And like I said. I wantâ well all of itâ everything. You. Her.â He looks back over his shoulder and you smile at one another as he reaches back and strokes his hand down the curving arch of your foot.
Bucky looks back at Helmut and sighs. âI thought I knew how it would be⊠I had no idea.â He says still processing everything thats just happened.
Helmut looks at him and your heart aches with love as youâre sure his does. Bucky is the oldest person in the room with so much to learn. âItâs late, and if we keep on Iâll start getting emotional, I think Whitney Houston has a song about it and sheâll start fucking, dancing againâ He tosses a nod in your direction like he just doesnât know what to do with you.
You laugh from the pillows âHey!â
âGo on,â Zemo says smiling âGet cleaned up and Iâll send her in after you.â
Bucky nods happily accepting a firm but quick kiss. âYes Baronâ He says with a hint of sarcasm. The submission is fading to the confines of the collar for now and Helmut watches him get up and walk away, with only the slightest change in his gait.
When he says your name you take Buckyâs place and bend your head letting Helmut remove your collar next. He unbuckles it and slides it off, dropping it to the bed; rubbing your neck, kissing where the buckle was. âNow lie back, let me see the restâ He says softly.
You donât know what he means, but you do anyway.
Helmut bends over you and kisses the now dull, nearly forgotten marks left behind from the leash, but you still flinch. âI donât mind when you dance, not in the least.â He confesses against your skin and you shut your eyes smiling. Oh. âYou dance as much as you want toâ He kisses the other leg tracing the fading lines towards your inner thigh. âWhen you want to and how you want to. So long as you know Iâll probably always find a reason to punish youâ He says squeezing your hip, making you laugh. He pulls himself up coming closer and lets his chin rest on your stomach for a second. Helmut looks up at you and sighs rubbing your stomach with his hand flat. âYou know that I love you? Youâ feel it?â
Your heart flutters with an unexpected rush of so many things. You know why heâs asking. A lot of this has been about Bucky, so now Zemo is checking in, making sure you still feel seen âYour dear, wonderful Baron.
You stroke his hair back lost in the clear brown gaze. âI need you to know, to always know.â He sits up sliding close along the edge of the bed so that he can look down at your face as a stream of Sokovian words tumble from his lips, his deep voice laying over your naked body like a blanket. âItâs clear this relationship involves three people and I may share my heart with him, but my love for you is no less. If anything Iâm thankful to have a woman like you,â He pauses to lay his hand to your face, the heat of his palm against your cheek feels calming. âSomeone capable of bringing the three of us together, no one else could have made this happen, just you.â
âMe?â You ask looking up at him leaning against his touch just a little more.
He nods âYes, of course. Donât be modest.â Helmut says stroking your cheek. âI may have loved him first, but you reminded me that it was safe to feel that way in the first place after everything⊠and to say the words out loudâ You can see him thinking back, probably to the night you first declared your true feelings for him as only you would, and it makes him laugh softly. âI loved him first, but you were and are the one I need, so that I may love without fear.â
You feel that sunlight on your face, that warmth that only comes when Baron Zemo looks at you. Sometimes you feel like you will burn too bright from the heat of it; like a struck match. Sometimes you fear you will burn to ashâŠ
You shut your eyes. Anything to break the spell.
He says your name softly and you open them a little embarrassed to find tears blurring your vision. Helmut wipes the stream that falls before you can stop them from falling down the side of your face with the back of his hand and bends to kiss you gently.
He pulls you up to sitting keeping you close.
âThank you.â You say in his arms. He nods as he looks you over, like heâs looking to make sure you have no physical injuries he needs to care for and brushes a lash from your cheek before smoothing another tear with his thumb.
âNo more tears. Go and get cleaned up, yes? You look tired, I was hard on you again."
You laugh hanging your head. âBoth of us.â
He joins the laughter rubbing your back inhaling deeply through his teeth, the memories of tonight so good they hurt. âYou donât know; you have know no idea what itâs like to see the two of youâŠâ You lean to the side to see his face clearly, âWhen youâre both beneath me, and you look small enough to break and he looks like a godâ He smiles, a warm laugh mixed with a breath âAnd youâre both mine.â His smile fades into a look more serious. âAnd I am yours.â
Youâre hopelessly in love with this man and lean in kissing him until you both feel the possibility of it becoming more which really should not physically happen, so you pull away.
âGo on.â He says tapping your leg. âGo and get clean and then come to bed.â
âWhat about you?â
âIâll use the smaller bathroom across the hallâ
âOkay, Iâll make sure Buckyâs okay tooâ You add and he smiles but looks up towards the door like heâs suddenly very worried âIâm sure heâs fine.â
You get up but stop and turn back to find him just sitting there looking off, lost in his thoughts. âHelmut?â
âYes?â He looks at you, the shadows along his face making the sharp angles so pretty.
âDid you think youâd end up loving us both?â You ask and you can see that your question has surprised him.
He looks past you to the bathroom door again listening to the running water of the shower, then back at you for some time before finally answering. âI didnât think I would give myself the chance.â He says and flashes a smile, the truth surprising even him. âLuckily I donât always listen to the voices in my head.â
Authors Notes: I'm busy working on the final parts of this story as I've been learning how to work Tumblr thanks to the ever patient, ever wonderful, ever amazing @natbarnes1917 who is basically the best human alive and you should all go and read all of her stuff because it will make your day infinitely better. Thanks for your support and help bestie! and for encouraging me to never delete a single smut scene because why have one bj when you can have two!
#fatws#zemo x reader#winterbaron#bucky barnes x reader#baron zemo fanfiction#helmut zemo#baron zemo#zemo smut#zemo fanfic#james bucky barnes x reader#Bucky barnes/zemo#winterbaron romance#winterbaron x you#winterbaron fic
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wtfock fic recs part 1
okay so some points
im sorry about the spacing but i cant be bothered to fix it, im sorry if i missed anything and i hope this was helpful
the classics (v popular, many kudos)
I Didn't Want To Share My Boyfriend Anymore by teen_content_queen So He's Happy by Masterless rescue my heart by themoongirl go and hold that lightning by themoongirl i've learned to lose you (can't afford to) by petitepeach and my love life waits by petitepeach Truth by MsAshlyjudd8 Carry You by clarecas Are You Jealous Or Are You Sulking? by teen_content_queen Sick Day by teen_content_queen can i try again? by lamourestout Floating in a most peculiar way by skamsnake rotten work by aholynight run and score by aurorawinds
Unattainable by sincerelysobbe
canon divergence/missing scenes/fix-its
woensdag 21:21 (redux) by eliottamoureux - the post first kiss that sander deserved living life and loving boys by TheGlassesPredicament - post hate crime, milan and our boys :( but :) all we can do is keep breathing by aletterinthenameofsanity - sander is homeless explanation Bringing A Boy Home by ForeverInIdle - Sander takes Robbe to meet his mother watch myself watchin' you by vitane - robbes crush on sander developing during the beach trip hey wolf, there's lions in here (hey wold, just see there's no fear) by tokyometropolis(mesohorany) - sanders perspective of ohn Rebel Rebel by skamsnake - sanders perspective on trying to get robbe to fall in love with him on the beach trip In which Sander and Robbe emigrate from Robbe's bedroom by orphan_account zaterdag 22:02 by wasteourdaysdreaming - sander wants to be with robbe diminuendo by noobishere - sander at the flatshare after robbe leaves for his exam and I know what you're feeling ('cause I feel it as well) by nothingbutniall - kissing in the tunnel a warning sign by themoongirl - sanders perspective after he ran out of the hotel reunited by themoongirl - reimagined ohn you don't even know who i am by lamourestout - robbe and sander getting to know each other take these broken wings and learn to fly by ladypeaceful - the hate crime gonna build you up (gonna help you believe, honey) by ladypeaceful - robbe takes sander to meet his mama
the broers
being assholes fucking asshole. by richietrashmouthtozier - jens is a dick and robbe is tired and sad The Familiar, Foreign, or Both by TOZ1ER - robbe grew apart from the broers by then he runs into them in the supermarket oké, so? by severegas4 - moyo is a dick being mostly good friends jahsdaj by the way by TheGlassesPredicament - robbe has been dating sander and is tired of hiding it Now I'm In It by cicelsticks - sander on a broers holiday, there's only one bed, and pining Low Volume by clubstocrews23 - sander is down but robbe is there for him a teenage manual on breathing by merengue - robbe comes out to jens, this one is seriously so good Fun Get Away by Masterless - jens doesnt like sander but he's a good friend
wtFOCK - Moyo season 4 by Createdforyou - screenplay style moyo season 4 written by some lovely people and very well done, even if screenplay isn't your thing i highly suggest trying it
romcom type aus that make my heart all fuzzy
Croissants by bruisingknees - sander works at a bakery, robbe is a customer, flirting ensues its an unrequited love by eggsntoast - sander works at a museum and robbe keeps visiting The finest of the meadow by allforyoumylove - two boys meet in a meadow Coffee and Croques by peaceoutofthepieces - barista!sander and barista!eliott we love to see it
My hand around the base of your holy neck by allforyoumylove - friends with benefits and we all know how that turns out
Come closer I'll give you all my love by Createdforyou - fake dating au babyyy
Christmas Dreams by Createdforyou - they're coworkers and its christmas! tell me that doesnt scream romcom
careless in its choosing by noobishere - they meet in a club its very cute
life was a willow and it bent right to your wind by nbrook - friends to lovers and its christmas and robbes boyfriend sucks
just friends by sincerelysobbe - friends with benefits with much pining
But darling, love is passing by by Createdforyou - barista!sander i mean who doesnt love barista!sander and strangers to friends to lovers
fun and funky aus that just hit
Let's Dance by msleviss- Sander is a DJ we love to see it our camp of dreams by aurorawinds - a summer camp au Falling For You by silver_etoile - soccer au babyyyyy Seek Only Love by iwritetropesnottragedies(recklesslee) - Sander goes to Robbe's highschool Jij Verliest by sincerelysobbe - robbe is a streamer and he deserves a nice boyfriend aka sander the blood of both is my limbo by tokyometropolis(mesohorany) - robbe is an angel and sander is a demon its fucking awesome i'm slowly falling away. by fockinglevendcliche - enemies to lovers paint me in trust by themoongirl - vampire!sander that's all u need to know Pizza Time by Quirlequast - robbe cant tell if pizza deliveryboy sander is flirting with him we don't gotta be discreet by noobishere - robbe and sander fake date but theyre actually really dating, aaron is just an idiot
flower moon by cicelsticks - hogwarts au v cute
love me while your wrists are bound by alsjeblieft - siren!sander is fucking awesome this one also has under 100 kudos and thats just wrong
masterpiece by sincerelysobbe - soulmate au babyyyy
For Real by peaceoutofthepieces - fake dating at christmas time what could be better
everything all at once by whalefairyfandom - robbe is a barista and sander is his coworker britts 'asshole' ex-boyfriend
love potion no.9 by thekardemomme - hogwarts au and its amortentia day
the blind date bomb by thekardemomme - robbe and sander on a blind date and it goes very well
I See You When You Run From The Light (within your eyes) by womenstan - sander is blind and robbe is an idiot but itll be okay eventually bsadhajshd
carry me through this sleeping city by aurorawinds - imo this is some of aurorawinds best work, they're neighbours and coworkers and v cute
the sports we play by dottori - this one was very fun and cute although i only vaguely know of the foxhole court it was still very enjoyable so even if you dont know the reference read it anyway
makes me feel things i cant explain
vrijdag 21:37 by wasteourdaysdreaming - the same party from told from different perspectives (one of my all time fucking favourites fr) to build a home by aguamarina - sander has a sister and she's the sweetest thing
you know i'm always at your shoulder (take your heart out of its holster) by wafflesofdoom - this is unfinished but so so worth the read anyway especially because the chapters kind of function as one-shots
hop in the corolla by noobishere - god this fic is everything to me like them on a trip together, in love, happy, being young, fuck its so wonderful
A New Sunday Feeling by foxsake5 - they're in love and horny and v sweet
Fizzy Colas by foxsake5 - its boys night out but robbe and sander are in love
in this universe by dottori - fluff fluff fluff my little heart
Suns Set Before They Rise by writingbuzz - boyfriends waking up together
lovers never lose by dottori - this has to be one of my all time favourites, perfectly cheesy i love it sm
Taking pictures of you as the light came through by allforyoumylove - this one is steamy so be warned but so tender and sweet
My hand around the base of your holy neck by allforyoumylove - friends with benefits but they're in love and its beautiful
Pull Me from the Dark by TheOceanIsMyInkwell - wow i mean wow, they both have issues and they're still learning and trying and they love each other even though they're sad and a bit broken.
Always mine, always yours by allforyoumylove - they go to a wedding and get engaged and its romantic as fuck and im crying
one through seven by dottori - robbe and sander are in love
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Chapter 3: Suck it up Fenton
The rest of the day ended up being lackluster.
In the beginning, things were going well, seating assignments had been changed, and more teachers roamed the halls during and between classes. Unfortunately, the changes aren't going to last. While teachers were punishing students for bad behavior, it wasn't always the ones who did the deed that got punished. It is almost like the trouble makers started rapidly evolving. Many of the A-List target students got detention, with their reflective bully doing a whole 180 when a teacher showed up. Thankfully I managed not to get detention for a second day and a row, but that may be from Dash getting in trouble earlier today.
I may be giving my classmates more credit than they are worth, though. Before today, none of the teachers ever monitored the events in the hallwaysâgiving everyone free rein to do what they wished without any consequences. This isn't anyone evolving. This is their way of getting around the new, hopefully, standards that they are trying to implement. If things continue to go this way, the A-Lists and others are just going to become less subtle in their actions. Not that I expect them to be able to pull it off in the end, but the new arrangement might cause even more issues.
'Great going Fenton, you just screwed everyone, I tell myself. Not everyone can handle themselves as well as you can. This is going to mean so much trouble. But, I try to look on the bright side, thinking about Astronomy. I got some papers back today, full credit on my star chart, though that's pretty much expected of me at this point. So not too surprising. Hopefully, other classes will improve with the seating arrangements being changed, but there is no way of telling if they truly will.
Once classes were over and done with, I met up Sam and Tucker at the Nasty Burger. The restaurant is just starting to get busy with the constant incoming groups of students coming through the door. Thankfully we can claim our regular booth and put in an order for food. " So, how did your guys' day go?" Tucker asks, fiddling with one of his newer PDAs. He goes through PDAs as Dad goes through fudge, a lot of them and all the time. Sam and I just shrug in response and continue the conversation going through some random small talk.
In the middle of our conversation, Tucker suddenly goes still and stares at the PDA. He shoves the device in front of Sam's face making her read whatever has grabbed his attention. Once she is done looking at whatever it is, she and Tucker make eye contact conveying something to each other that I am unable to make out. Sam starts to say something but is interrupted by our food arriving.
"Danny," Tucker says as I shove fries into my mouth, " what happened last night?" I give him a questioning look. Sam slides over the PDA it is showing a local news article. The headline, "MORE DESTRUCTION IN AMITY," is plastered at the top. Below it shows a picture of a destroyed abandoned lot, the same lot from the fight with Skulker earlier this morning.
MORE DESTRUCTION IN AMITY
by Charisma Lynn
This morning residents of this local neighborhood woke up to the remains of another ghost fight. All around the grounds, traces of the battle can be found. Burn marks cover the ground in many areas showing the intensity of the fight. When officials first got on the scene, they found a couple of abnormalities not commonly seen. In a couple of different places, shattered pieces of ghostly green energy can be found. At first appearance, the pieces look like stained glass, but after the first contact turns into a gooey substance. Residents are being told not to worry as the substance is completely harmless but to still take caution. Along with the glass-like substance is a frozen piece of the ground. Even in the sunlight, the spot has shown no difference and is as hard as a rock. Out of the earth is a broken piece of ice. So far, we are unable to tell where the ice has come from, but our best guess is from some kind of ghostly interference. Many residents of the neighborhood have to ask where Phantom was? Was he part of the destruction, or is there a new ghost in town? Find out more tonight at 6 on APC.
I look up from the article to see Sam and Tucker staring at me. I shove more unsalted fries into my mouth. Did you know salt is a natural ghost repellent I, unfortunately, learned that the hard way. Never again. I finish chewing before reassuring them, " Guys, it's fine it was just a typical ghost fight." Tucker starts on his food apparently satisfied with my answer while Sam looks like she is getting ready to argue, but I interject before she gets the chance.
" It was just Skulker, it wasn't anything too bad" the mixture of "too bad" and Skulker grabs Tucker's attention once again. With him too now giving me a critiquing look over. " Are you sure dude? You aren't hurt anywhere are you?" His voice started to become a little bit frantic as he says, "Because Im not going to the hospital. Sorry but that's where I draw the line."
" Okay, but that doesn't explain what's up with the ice spot and glassy thingy," Sam says, bringing us back to the point of the conversation. " Not now," I tell them. I glance around the crowded room before looking back to them, "not here."
They look as if they are preparing to argue as I whisper, " in private." I get a couple of questioning looks as I continue, " Theres' too many people that could overhear" With the promise to talk about it later, our meal went back to everyday small talk and griping about whatever else is bothering us.
Thankfully they let it go. For now, at least.
We finish up our meal and leave the restaurant, then start on down the road. "So," Sam asks, looking in my direction, " where exactly are we going? Your place?" I start to agree but get cut off by Tucker, " We should go to the lot." I give him a questioning glance. He continues his thought, saying, " The picture in the article doesn't show much, and you never know the media could be over-exaggerating again."
"Why not," Sam says with the tone of excitement in her voice, " sounds like fun." I stop walking as I think it over. Before I can say anything, the two of them rush off ahead in the direction of the lot while a feeling of dread overtakes me. "Guys," I call out to them, trying to catch back up, " I don't think this is a good idea." I tell them in a rush, "I will tell you about it when we get to my place. We don't need to go there." Sam narrows her eyes at me before saying, "you're hiding something."
" No, that's not it," I wring my hands in my shirt, unsure of how to proceed. She doesn't let up with her glare at my words. Sam sighs and comes towards me, grabs my arm, and pulls me along with her. I try to pull myself away without hurting her, but I just can't seem to do it. Finally, I become resigned and hesitantly follow without protest.
Didn't they read the same article that I did? It says authorities looked at the lot. They would have had to call ghost experts. Who is to say that they still aren't there? What are we going to say if the Guys In White stuck around? Or even worse, my parents.
When we arrive, the lot is empty, only showing past signs of anyone having been here. The three of us cautiously walk towards the destruction. Next to me, I hear Tucker gasp before saying, "Oh myâŠ" he stops himself before saying anything else. Sam isn't much better putting her hand around my arm in a vice grip.
Before them stands the evidence of one of my fights. In the daylight, the damage looks worse than it did under the moon, making me feel even worse about our actions than I already do. The ground doesn't look so much burned but scorched. As if a fire had burned away its beauty and left a hot steaming pile of muck in its place.
The few trees that line the property have missing limbs that have either splintered or lie on the ground. Shards of ectoplasm are scattered around in the grass, waiting for an unsuspecting human to fall victim to its goo or a ghost to impale its self on its sharp edges. In the middle of it, all is the spikey ice collum surrounded by the frozen frosty ground.
" So they under exaggerated this time," Tucker said, trying to bring humor to the situation, " who would have guessed." I look away from them, ashamed. " It didn't look this bad at night," I say softly, " It didn't" Unable to meet their eyes, I walk forward towards the Ice. Sam and Tucker tell me not to touch anything that I don't know where it comes from As I get near it. I ignore them and put my hand on the side of the spike. Even in human form, I am still unable to feel any of its coldness. It feels just as warm as the air around us, a little moist but not cold.
Sam and Tucker, at some point, walk towards the spike and join me at my side while I inspect the spike. " What does it feel like to you?" I ask. " Dude, it's Ice, it's cold. What else is it supposed to feel like?" I continue to glide my hand over the ice while telling them to humor me. I watch as they put their hands onto the ice, and as soon as they touch it, their hands go flying away from it. They both hold their hand as if something is attacking them. "Danny, how can you touch that!" Sam exclaims, " that stuff is freezing!"
" It feels warm to me," I tell them nonchalantly as if this is an everyday occurrence. " Danny, this isn't normal," Sam says in a worried tone. I don't say anything in response, knowing that this isn't normal for human beings, not at all. Instead, I stare at the ice, trying to figure out how to fix it, when suddenly, an idea comes to my head. I look towards them and hum to catch their attention, "Hey, do you think you can back up for a second? I have something I want to try."
As soon as they are far away enough, I check and double-check that no one is around. Before going forward on my idea, I yell to Tucker, " Tuck, can you check for cameras and stuff first?" He pulls out his PDA and tells me, " No problem with 'Simone' I'll know if anything is there in a jiffy." I wait a second until I hear him give the okay and start my attempt.
My eyes start to glow an icy ethereal blue as I stand before the spike and tap into my ice core. I can feel the cold rushing through me and out to my surroundings. In my presence, the spike starts to repair itself as I let my core come to the surface. In the middle of the spike, I can feel a connection to myself, its ectoplasmic connection to myself. Instead of pushing the ice out, I pull it in, and before my eyes, the ice starts to melt. Instead of shattering like before, it slowly becomes raw energy becoming a blue-white blob.
I gather as much energy as I can from the earth, defrosting it and adding it to the rest of the blob. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding when all of the ice finished melting. I look around the lot for the scorched places, instinctively knowing what to do. I melt the icy ectoplasmic blob even more into water and send it around to saturate the ruined earth. When the ecto-water hits the ground, the earth lets out a satisfying hiss. The ground looks as if it has partially recovered, making it look like months have gone by instead of only a few hours since the initial conflict. Slowly I let go of my core, letting my eyes go back to their normal human hue. A smile comes to my face at my accomplishment, and I look over at Sam and Tucker. They are both staring at me with huge eyes with different emotions flashing through them: amazement, surprise, and wonder.
I go to take a step towards them when the world starts to spin. I feel myself stumble forward. " Danny!" I hear my name called out in fear and a rushing of feet coming to me. A wave of nausea hits me hard, and I lose my balance falling forward. Luckily Sam is just close enough for me to fall onto. "Danny," I hear my name called out again, " oh my gosh, are you okay?" Feeling too weak to answer, all I can do is groan.
" What are we going to do?" I hear Tucker ask Sam frantically, " we can make it to his place from here, and both of our houses are on the other side of town." The two of them keep coming up with ideas that won't work to get us out of the lot. I try to interject but just moving my mouth causes me pain.
Finally, I manage to groan out a name, "Jazz," but they don't seem to hear me. I try again, a bit louder this time, "Jazz," Sam stops talking, and when Tucker doesn't, I listen to her hit him in the back of the head. "Hey, what was that for" he complains, "Shush, Danny said something." With the raging quiet for the last time, I groan, "Jazz."
A quick vague phone call later and give or take a few minutes, Jazzs' car pulls up, and they give a sigh of relief. I hear a door slam and a worried Jazz making her way over. When she gets to us, I try to look up at her and grab her attention, but I am unable to reach her eyes. " What happened" She interrogated as she crouches down to take hold of me. I feel fatigued and start to lose track of the conversation. The next thing I know, someone has picked me up, and I'm in the car. I feel at ease with the motion of the car as we race home. It doesn't take long for me to close my eyes and fall asleep.
When I come to, I'm staring at the old stick-on stars that are attached to my bedroom ceiling. I cautiously sit up, feeling the strain of an invisible muscle, my core, in my chest. My sister and friends are spread out in the room, passed out exhausted. I glance at the clock next to my bed and read the time 3:18 AM. I try to get up from the bed, but I tumble down onto the floor. The sound wakes up Jazz, making her spring into action, helping me back up. "Hey," she whispers, "don't move too fast. You are still recovering."
I wince a little at the movement. Once she gets me steady, I whisper, "Can you help me get to the bathroom." She nods and carefully helps me to the bathroom. Once everything is situated, Jazz brings me back to my room and helps me onto the bed. I scoot over, making enough room for her to join me, which she quickly accepts.
"They told me what happened at the lot," she says, motioning towards my friends, " What were you thinking trying something like that?" She admonishes. I snuggle into her, getting comfortable before starting my defense, " I was just trying to clean up the mess we make," With a look, I explain further, " Skulker and I fought there last night. It went a little longer than expected. I didn't realize that we made such a mess."
"What about the ice," she inquires. I give half a shrug, " It was unexpected; I don't know how it happened." I tell her truthfully, " I plan to go visit Frostbite this weekend and see if he knows anything." She starts raking her hand through my hair then continues the conversation, " They said you got rid of the ice and fixed part of the ground? They didn't explain it too well. Care to elaborate?"
"It's weird. I just kind of knew how to do it. It was likeâŠ." I trail off, not liking the word I need to use. Jazz, unfortunately, knew where to pick up at, "Instinct?" She questions, with my silence being the only acknowledgment she needs. She sighs before saying, "It's okay, you know, to admit it." We lay there for a while before I decide to respond, " I can't." I react in denial, " If I acknowledge it, then it makes it true." Jazz lets out a breathy laugh at that, " So, what if you don't talk about it? It's going to go away?"
" I wish," I mumble, "It's just if I talk about it, then it becomes more real. I can pretend to be normal." She scoffs at my response, " Normal is overrated anyway." I let out a yawn and looked over at the time 4:03 AM. " Can we talk about this later? It's late." She lets out a yawn of her own, having caught mine before saying accusingly, " You just don't want to talk about it." I don't deny her accusation but put some more distance between the two of us and painfully turn over.
What does she want me to tell her? That I feel drawn to go to Ghost Zone? That I like laying around in my ghost form? I can get away with feeling like me under the stars and use insomnia as an excuse, but there is no way to explain anything else. If I told her some of these things, it would just be more of a confirmation of what I already know: I'm a freak.
" Good night, Jazz."
"Good night, little brother."
#dash baxter#danny phantom#danny fenton#phantom#sam manson#tucker foley#jazz fenton#mentions of skulker#skulker
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A Different Kind of Education: I Is For Impact Play (Chapter 8)
ADKoE MASTERLIST
Pairing: Professor!Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader
Series Summery: Â After being broken up with for not being kinky enough, Reader seeks out her professor to give her some private tutoring so she can win her boyfriend back.
Chapter Summery: Â A new week and a new lesson, but also a new challenge. How can you possibly find the courage to talk to your professor about your period?
Warnings: Modern AU, smut (18+), slow burn romance, dom/sub dynamics, dom!roger and sub!reader, professor x student sex, dialogue heavy, conversations about and mentions of menstrual cycles/periods, discussions of impact play including: spanking, kicking, slapping, punching, floggers, paddles, crops, whips, and canes
Words: 10,391
A/N:Â Better late than never, right? Big apologies for taking so long to get this one up! Once again I've had to split a single topic into multiple chapters lmao. This one is mostly the theory part of the lesson and a bit of an info dump, but the next part will focus more on the actual smut.
Taglist:Â @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogeminiÂ
@80s-roger @libsterslobsters @okilover02 @cjand10 @dealorgirl32 @youngpastafanmug @onceuponadetectivedemigodâ
You knew it was something youâd have to deal with eventually, that having your period would affect your lessons with Roger. But still you felt reluctant to broach the topic with him. It wasnât something you generally discussed with people, especially not your professor (even if you were regularly sleeping with him). And you could already hear the lecture heâd give you about why you shouldnât be embarrassed to tell your sexual partner about your cycle, and about how heâd taught reproduction enough to not be phased by it. The problem was you werenât really sure how you felt about having sex during it and you knew even less about whether Roger would want to. You were definitely going to have to talk to him about it, no matter how much you didnât want to. So, wondering when the best time to bring it up would be, you checked the curriculum heâd written for you. Impact play. That was the topic for the week. Roger might consider you clueless about kink (as youâd learnt during the previous weekâs munch), but you at least knew enough to know that impact play meant spanking. For a moment you were distracted from your worries about the conversation you were going to have, rather excited by what youâd just read. Spanking was one of those things youâd been expecting to try. When you thought about BDSM, spanking was the second thing to come to mind after bondage. It was one of those things Dylan had hinted at being into. A couple of times during sex heâd given your arse a slap and, though youâd never really asked for it you also hadnât told him to stop. He never hit too hard and it added a bit of excitement so there was no harm in it. And you suspected he might be interested in pushing it further if you ever suggested as much. So, to know that Roger was going to run you through the basics of it and show you how it felt, you couldnât help but be a bit excited. And maybe youâd be able to keep things over the clothes to start and you wouldnât have to tell Roger about your period after all. The good thing with having an implant was that it reduced the duration of your period. It would have been nice if it stopped it entirely but at least it shortened it and made it a little lighter. So maybe you could organise a second session later in the week for the more hands on part of the lesson, and not have to explain at all. You left your apartment feeling happier and excited to see Roger that night. But you didnât have to wait so long to see him. Â
Youâd barely taken two steps inside when a familiar voice called out Ms Y/L/N and you found Roger walking towards you, his hand raised in a lazy wave. âHi Professor,â you smiled, surprised but happy to see him, âIâm just on my way to class, whatâs up?â âOh, in that case,â he glanced over to a group of students ambling past you, âdo you have time for a meeting before you leave this afternoon?â Your heart rate sped up at the serious way he looked at you over his glasses, âUmm sure.â âGood. Iâll see you this afternoon then. Donât forget.â You nodded but a new worry had taken over your mind. There was only one reason he could want to talk to you. Your degree. If it was anything to do with his tutoring sessions then he would have just said it when you got to his place that evening. No, it must be to do with your class work. Maybe something had been wrong with your last exam? Possibilities were turning over in your mind as you resumed your path to your first class, each worse than the other. Maybe youâd misunderstood a question and gotten it completely wrong. Maybe heâd had to fail you. Maybe your overall grade had dropped. Maybe he was going to call the whole tutoring thing off because youâd gotten too distracted and done so badly on your recent assessment. You spent the entire day trying not to get too worked up about it, trying to tell yourself that if your work had slipped even a little he would have called to talk about it earlier, that if it really was as bad as failing his subject youâd have discussed it long before now. By the time your last class of the day ended you were somewhere between terrified about what Roger was going to say and relieved that you were about to find out. Â
Your hand was shaking as you knocked on Rogerâs office door and pushed it open at his word.  âAH, Ms Y/L/N, shut the door please and take a seat.â he said, shifting a stack of papers to the side of his desk. It was only once you were sitting that he seemed to look at you properly, âAre you alright? You look a bit pale.â âProfessor Iâm so sorry, I swear if something was wrong with my last exam then it wasnât because of our lessons and I promise Iâm not letting them distract me at all. I put so much time and effort into studying and if-â âWoah, woah, hang on. No one said anything was wrong.â Your breath caught in your throat and it seemed to take you twice as long as it normally would for you to understand what heâd said, âThereâs not? Then....why am I here?â âItâs about tonightâs tutoring session.â âOh?â âI wondered if youâd be okay making a small change to the plan.â âS-so nothing's wrong with my work?â Roger shook his head, âYour work is impeccable Ms Y/L/N. Sorry, I didnât realise youâd assume the worst. I had no intention of worrying you like that. I was intending to mention it this morning but you seemed to be in a bit of a rush and I didnât want anyone to overhear so...â he gestured vaguely towards you with his hands.  You let out a relieved chuckle, feeling a weight lift from your shoulders, âWhat was the change you wanted to make?â âDo you know what weâll be focusing on this week?â âImpact play, Professor.â âVery good. And do you know what that entails?â âItâs like spanking isnât it?â âSpanking is definitely part of it, yes.â âCool. But youâre not wanting to switch topic are you? Only Iâve been kind of looking forward to this one since itâs like proper BDSM stuff....or like, not that other things arenât I just mean that spanking is part of what I initially imagined, yâknow?â Roger held up his hand to quiet you, âI understand what you mean Ms Y/L/N. And itâs not that I want to change the topic, I just wanted to change where the lesson would take place.â âOkay...â you were a little surprised by that. Where else could he have in mind when your lessons were supposed to be secret. âI thought we might have the first lesson here.â âHere?!â âKeep your voice down, Ms Y/L/N. Not here exactly, not this office. In the first-year bio room actually.â âWhy? Isnât that kind of risky? What if someone saw?â Roger shrugged one shoulder, âIt might be, but I think what I intend to show you could be covered as a biological experiment. Let me explain,â he said upon seeing your confused face, âSo, as you no doubt remember, first years do a lot of dissection of various animals, working their way up to human.â You nodded, remembering hours spent bent over various carcases and cadavers. âWell, I thought it might be beneficial to show you some of the impact play tools we can use, demonstrating how they work and what effects they can have, but I donât want to demonstrate them on you straight away. Luckily, it just so happens that one of the animals my first years are studying right now is pigs, so I thought we might use a pig carcass instead. Pig and human flesh are quite similar so you should get a decent sense of how being spanked with various tools will look and the impact they would have on your skin. We can compare being spanked by hand to flogging to a crop and so on. All without experiencing any pain at all. Of course, it is a dead pig so it wonât be exactly the same and you probably wonât see the same levels of bruising you would on a living human being, but itâs a good starting point. Plus this way you could try wielding the tools too, so you can get a sense for how they feel to use them and how much force is required to make them work.â You were taken aback by the explanation and had to stop your jaw from falling open as you listened. But Roger waited patiently for you to think it over and you quickly concluded it was a good plan. You could easily write it off as related to your dissertation if anyone saw and asked what was going on. It wasnât at all related but Roger was about the only person who knew what topic you were researching so no one else would pick up the lie.  âOkay then, letâs have the lesson here.â âExcellent. You really donât mind hanging back?â âNot at all.â âGood. I think we should possibly wait until a little later before we start, just to let the place clear out a bit. Perhaps we could get some dinner and eat it in here before we head down to the room. You can tell me how youâre getting on with your dissertation.â âOkay, I like that idea.â âShall I duck out and get us some food then? What would you like?âÂ
After what could only be described as a minor argument about the merits of Mexican food, you and Roger eventually settled on a nearby Greek place. He tapped the order into Uber Eats and then went to wait for the delivery out on the street so the driver wouldnât have to find their way through the numerous carparks and laneways on campus. You ducked out to your own car to drop off your bag full of books, though you kept your laptop to make notes on. It would also make your story seem more legitimate if anyone did stumble onto the lesson and ask what was going on. The thought of the lesson made you smile. Partly because you were keen to learn about the topic but also partly because you knew there was no way sex would be part of it. Roger would definitely draw the line at fucking his student in his classroom where anyone could catch you. And if you were going to be spanking a dead pig then you wouldnât be asked to remove clothes or anything like that. So you wouldnât have to discuss your menstrual cycle with Roger at all. Youâd just say you were busy until later in the week when your period stopped and organise the follow-up lesson then and Roger wouldnât be any the wiser. It was perfect. That, in addition to knowing nothing was wrong with your actual schoolwork, put you in a very good mood and you could have whistled with joy as you made your way back to Rogerâs office. Â
By the time youâd finished eating, the sky outside the window had changed from a mix of warm pinks and yellows as the sun set and was gradually darkening the longer you watched. It was only when Roger glanced at his watch and saw that it was a quarter to seven that he decided the building would be empty enough for your lesson to start. He grabbed his own laptop as you grabbed yours and then led you along the corridor and down a set of stairs, taking you towards the back of the building where the hands-on biology lessons were held.  Roger made sure the door was shut and locked before dumping his belongings onto a desk. âCan you give me a hand?â he asked, before moving to the door to a walk-in freezer at the back of the room. Together you hoisted a large pig carcass onto a cart and wheeled it out into the main room.  Roger then ducked back into the freezer returning, after a little rummaging, with what looked to be a childâs toy crate. It was made of yellow plastic and seemed light enough that Roger had no trouble hoisting it onto one of the desks, but it was not full of childrenâs toys. You couldnât see everything immediately but poking out of the top was a long black handle with a leather flap hanging off the end.  âIs that what weâll be using then?â You were eyeing the box warily. âYup,â Roger began pulling the items from the box one by one, laying them out on the desk, âI brought the box in earlier and hid it down here so no one would stumble onto it. I didnât want any awkward questions. Or to have any of them stolen since theyâre mine,â he added with a chuckle. You looked over the collection with interest, some of the objects familiar to you and some only vaguely recognisable, âIs that a hair brush?â âIt is,â Roger winked playfully, âKink can be very D.I.Y and the back of a hairbrush makes for a good makeshift paddle. The front of the hairbrush can be fun too actually. Anyway, Iâm getting ahead of myself. Iâm going to go through everything individually, explain what they are and what sort of effect they have and Iâll demonstrate them on our piggy participant. Thereâs also a few things I donât have which we can run through at the end, sound good?â âSounds great.â You sank into one of the nearby seats, pulling your laptop towards you, ready to take notes.  âRight well. Impact play is a BDSM practice where one partner strikes another for sexual gratification. As you rightly said earlier this includes spanking but there's a little more to it than just that. You can slap your partner, punch them, kick them, whip them or flog them. Thereâre numerous ways to play with impact and as with all BDSM itâs important to negotiate what you want before you start. Being struck can leave marks of course. Brusies, welts, scratches, right through to cuts that draw blood. For some people, the marking aspect is an important part of their enjoyment, and they might go so far as to intentionally make the marks more apparent. But whether or not you want visible marks might be influenced by your job or the season or your social life or any number of other things. Personally, the marks are secondary to why I enjoy the forms of impact play I partake in. But my feelings aside, the nature of our lessons and the secrecy required, means I wonât intentionally be marking you anywhere that isnât easy to cover up. If you even want to try it out. You might see everything today and decide itâs not for you and that would be okay.â âI donât think thereâs much danger of that Roger. Dylanâs spanked me a little before and Iâm interested enough to try more.â âIn that case then, you should know that physical pain is part of impact play no matter what aspect you try. And it can bring up more mental pain too, depending on the individual. Which is why I want to start with testing some implements on this pig. We can go through a few things and youâll get a sense of them and then we can talk about what you might actually want to try or if any of it seems wrong for you. Iâm also going to be much more diligent with your safe word in these lessons than any before. So what is your safe word?â âPizazz, Roger,â âGood. Remember you can use it whenever you need to, even today. If things get too much for you I want to know.â âI know. I promise Iâll use it.â You were struck by how serious Rogerâs tone was but understood it, after the conversation youâd had during your previous lesson. And, for the first time, you wondered if this would be a topic Roger would find hard to teach. âThank you. Iâll check in with you every so often, especially when we move onto the practical lesson and youâre experiencing it firsthand. So, if I ask you what your safe word is, I need you to respond as loudly and as quickly as you can. Itâs a way for me to gauge how well youâre coping and to make sure youâre still capable of using it.â âThat makes sense.â Having assured himself of your understanding, Roger took a deep breath and smiled again, âWell, I have a range of different implements you can use here today but weâll start with the most basic,â he held his two hands in front of him, palms towards you, fingers wiggling, âHands.â You smiled at his showmanship but your gaze lingered on the offered view. His hands had always seemed quite lovely, even when he was just teaching you biology. The way they moved so delicately as he demonstrated necessary scientific processes for the class, or rapidly twirled pens around his fingers to impress new students. Of course, youâd felt them too since youâre first private lesson, the way he caressed you and held you. His fist tightening in your hair and his fingers plunging into you and making you moan and the way heâd gently stroke your skin as you were both regaining your breath. You were excited to feel the power in them as he spanked you.  âSpanking is entry level impact play. Everyone and their mother has heard of it. Itâs a common thing to see in pornography and even in Hollywood movies when they want to show sex as kinky. And because you donât need more than your hands itâs easy to experiment with. Do you want to see what it looks like?â You nodded and Roger stepped closer to the pig, angling himself so you could see.  Suddenly there was the sound of a clap as Rogerâs palm hit the pigâs flesh.  âSee how my hand was open and my palm was flat?â Roger demonstrated again but slower so the hit barely made a sound, âBut what if I do this?â He hit the pig again but changed the position of his hand. The sound of his hand colliding with the pig was deeper the second time around, âIf you cup your hand, curve it slightly, you can change the way the spank feels and sounds. Just like clapping.â You experimentally clapped your hands together, first with open palms and then with each hand cupped so that the fingers wrapped around the back of the other. âNow you give the pig a try.â Feeling a surge of nervously excited butterflies, you got out of your seat and took your place at the pig. With a breath and a swallow you quickly brought your hand down. The slapping sound seemed to echo in the quiet room but it wasnât as crisp as the noise Rogerâs hits had made. With a look to Roger for permission, you tried it again, creating a slightly more impressive sound. âGood, now cupped?â You did it again, curving your fingers in a bit and bringing it down again. It felt more awkward than the open palm hit had so you repositioned yourself to hit the pig from a slightly different angle and tried once more. âDonât be afraid to pull your arm back further. The more your rear back, the more force will be in the spank. Like this,â he pulled his hand back past his ear and swung down hard, the spank echoing around you. âOf course, you can also spank from a nearer point too. Spanking, and a lot of impact play, is best if you mix it up a bit, donât stay in one rhythm too long, do some spanks with your fingers spread, or change how hard or fast they are. I might give a sub two or three hard hits each with a pause between but then Iâll switch to a more rapid series of spanks that donât have as much force behind them but come faster.â You nodded and experimented with taking your arm back further, testing out ways to change the strength of each spank, until Roger finally called you to stop. âHow did that feel?â he asked as you took your seat again. âMy hand tingles.â âThatâs normal,â Roger laughed, âin fact itâs one thing I really enjoy about spanking by hand. The sub isnât the only one who feels the spanks, the dom gets some of the pain in his hand too, especially if the intensity ramps up or there's a section of quick-fire spanks. And that can a) help the dom understand what the sub is feeling and work out how long the scene should go and b) brings a sort of intimacy to the scene that is harder to achieve with a tool.â You hummed as you noted down what heâd said, âHave you ever spanked someone so much you injured your wrist or anything?â âNo.â Roger shook his head, amused by the question, âMy wrists are pretty sturdy. But a few times Iâve been left with a stingy, tingly hand for an hour or two. Which brings me to an important note about pain. There are two main types of pain you can experience in impact play. We refer to them as thuddy and stingy.â âThuddy and stingy? What is this, an afternoon kids show?â Roger rolled his eyes, âThe names are simple but they explain exactly what they mean. Some types of impact will have a stingy sensation which is usually superficial. It wonât go deeper than the first few layers of skin and probably leaves the skin feeling warm and a little tingly or like sunburn, yâknow? Itâs typical of spanks and slaps. Thuddy pain is deeper, it gets into the fat and muscles and tissue and aches more. And Iâll go through which tools cause which sort of pain as I get to them. Generally though, people who enjoy impact play have a preference for one or the other.â âAnd your preference is what?â âThuddy. Definitely. Although I prefer inflicting stingy.â You hummed thoughtfully. âNow, Iâll go into details about ways to actually incorporate spanking into a scene later. We can talk about it while weâre negotiating our scene. Today is just about the practicalities and sensations involved in the different types of impact play. So are you okay to move on?â âYup, definitely.â And then, sensing Roger might ask, you added, âPizazz.â feeling pleased when you saw him smile.Â
âI donât expect us to delve too deep into them but I think I should touch on kicking, punching and slapping. Kicking and punching are things Iâve not done. They can, obviously, be quite painful. But theyâre pretty self-explanatory. From what I understand about it, and what Iâve heard others who enjoy that kind of thing say, kicking and punching can both be very intimate, similar to the way spanking by hand is, but in a more primal or animalistic way. Punching is, of course, done without any accessories but kicking often includes footwear of some kind. A lot of time itâs something like a steel-toed boot or something with a bit of weight to it.â âThat isn't something I want to try.â Youâd learnt a lot about how far kink went so werenât completely shocked that some people would enjoy something as forceful as kicking, but it did take you by surprise to hear Roger talking about it. âWhat about slapping?â âHow is that different to spanking?â âWell, youâre right, they are similar. But slapping generally refers to slapping on the face whereas spanking is usually on the, uh, derriere. Of course you can slap or spank other parts too. For clarityâs sake, if I say slapping assume I mean on the face whereas spanking is anywhere else on the body.â You thought about it for a second, âIâm not sure if Iâd be game to try it but I do want to know more.â âSlapping can be fun. Again, itâs not one I do a lot but I have played with it in the past. It comes in handy for particular scenes and thereâs a fairly bratty sub Iâve worked with who responds really well to it. The most important thing to know is that if you are slapping someoneâs face only ever aim for the cheeks. Thereâs a lot of fragile places around the face and itâs close to the brain so you need to be careful not to do any lasting damage. Never hit the temples because you hit them with enough force and it can kill a person. Nose and ears are off limits too, anything that is important. You knew enough about biology to know Roger wasnât making those rules up for fun. Noses were easy to break and hitting an ear too hard could damage someoneâs hearing. But face slapping did still intrigue you.Â
âWell, Iâd say the next â let's call it the next level â of impact play is paddling.â He picked up what looked to be a wooden plank with a handle. It was an inch or two longer and wider than his hand with small holes cut out in a repeating pattern over the flat side so you could look right through it. âThey donât always look like this. Paddles come in lots of different shapes and sizes. This is a wooden one but theyâre also frequently made of leather and sometimes the leather ones will have one side thatâs a little more padded than the other. That gives you a bit of versatility with the pain. You can start off lightly with the padded side to get you in the zone and then during the scene switch it to the firmer side that hurts more. Or, if you donât have access to a paddle at all, you can substitute a hairbrush.â He picked the hairbrush up and waved it back and forth. âAnd that-â you pointed at the hair brush, âwill feel the same as that?â you pointed at the wooden paddle, not quite able to reconcile the two in your mind.  âNot exactly the same but close. Honestly you can get really creative with impact play and not spend any money to get nearly the same results. I mean a plastic hairbrush might take a few extra hits or a little more force to really bruise someone but theyâll still end up sore from it. Or, if the hairbrush doesnât do it for you, dig through your draws and see what else you can find. Wooden spoons, cutting boards, rulers, leather belts, spatulas, rolling pins, ping pong paddles, anything you can get your hands on. Just be mindful of how easily theyâd break or them causing more pain than you expect.â Again, you werenât necessarily surprised by the lengths people would go to for sexual gratification, as Roger had put it, but it was a bit astounding. Still, you noted it all down just in case.  âNow a paddle generally falls under the stingy category but you do tend to get a deeper bruise than with your hand. Different factors could alter the way it feels too. If you put less force into it the pain will fall more on the thuddy side, same goes for if your hits are slower. But the pain call also be influenced by the size of the paddle, the material itâs made out of, the texture of it.â âTexture?â âSometimes paddles have added texture, so they arenât just a smooth, flat board. They might have metal studs that are more raised than the surface of the blade â the part you hit with â or ridging that will imprint the skin. This one has holes in it which definitely changes the feeling, makes it more intense. As you strike and the blade hits, the holes do two things. They stop any air cushions forming that would lessen the impact and they sort of push the skin into the holes which means the pain isn't completely even along where was hit. Plus it also leaves these cool circle marks behind which is fun.â You realised youâd held your breath through the explanation, eyes following the paddle as Roger waved it through the air and ran his hands over it unconsciously. You hoped he had something more beginner friendly at home, though you couldnât pretend you werenât turned on by the way he wielded his weapon. âUsing it is quite similar to spanking but your hand isnât hitting, itâs holding onto the paddle handle. So you just pull back,â Rogerâs arm went back and the paddle swung backwards,â and then hit,â he swung his arm forward, the paddle cutting through the air and landing directly against the soft flesh of the pig. It made a satisfying thwack sound on impact and when Rogerâ brought it back again you could see the circular patterns heâd talked about.  He demonstrated a few more times before he handed the plank to you.  It was heavier than youâd been expecting, solid wood, but the handle fit into your palm comfortably. You ran your hands over the flat part, what Roger had called the blade, and felt the holes with your fingers. The weight made it a little hard to swing but not impossible. You managed to mark the pig as well, stroking the circular imprints with your fingers. âTry the hairbrush,â Roger said, swapping it for the paddle. Its handle wasnât quiet as long, but it was lighter and you found your hits were harder with it, without you even trying.  âSomething to be aware of if you use an ordinary household item, or even just a different sort of impact toy. Because itâs lighter you can pull it back further and swing harder. A dom has to be aware of how much is going into each hit and how much their sub can handle.âÂ
âSo whatâs after paddles?â âFloggers.â Roger picked his up off the table, âThis is a fairly typical flogger. As you can see itâs made of black leather. It has the handle which is the thickest part and then a number of smaller tails. The tails is where you get the most variation which can be a stylistic choice or just a side effect of its price and overall quality. Thereâs a trick for knowing if a flogger is good quality or not. It should be pretty evenly balanced between the handle and the tails, so you should be able to do this,â he held out a finger and balanced the flogger on it carefully, the handle pointing out one way and the tails dangling over the other.  You thought for sure it would tip forward onto the tails and tumble to the ground but it hung there perfectly. âSometimes there will be more tails or they'll look different but no matter what, it should be balanced.â Roger gave a practiced flick of his hand so the flogger leapt into the air and he was able to catch the handle before it fell. âFrom a more stylistic point of view, you could get a flogger with less tails but theyâll be made of braids of leather which makes them heavier and thicker. Braided tails are also likely to have knots in the ends which can be a bit scratchy and even draw blood. They donât have to be made of leather either. Rubber floggers are also popular. The tails on them tend to be more rectangular in shape, still flat but they have more edges and it actually feels like youâre being hit with more tails then there really are. And if youâre looking to really fuck someone up you can get hemp floggers. Sometimes theyâll look similar to this leather one but hemp is fairly stiff material and sometimes the tails will be shaped so that theyâre sort of squiggly rather than flat lines. The squiggles hurt like a bitch, especially if they have knots at the end. Definitely start off with simple leather and work up once youâre more experienced.â Roger dragged the ends of the tails over his hand as he spoke, âIâd say this falls into the more thuddy type of pain. It can cover a large area of your body since the tails spread out and each of them creates an individual pain point. And because youâre being hit six or seven or nine or however many times at once, you can build up quite a rapid movement over a short period of time.â You eyed the dancing tails as Roger moved his hand through them, âHow long are the tails? Isnât it a bit dangerous to have so many bits flying in all directions?â Roger laughed, âWell yeah, kinda. I mean, thatâs BDSM for you though, it gets dangerous which is why weâre all obsessed with safety. Itâs a good thing to have noticed though, well done. The tails on this one are on the shorter side but some floggers will have much longer ones which means the dom can stand further back and still inflict a lot of pain. But youâre right, you do have to be mindful of the length and where theyâre flying because a longer tail can potentially wrap around to somewhere you arenât intending to hit. For instance, if youâre standing behind a person and flogging the back of their shoulder, you donât want one of the tails to fly past their shoulder and around their neck. That would be incredibly painful and probably not what they expected or wanted from the scene.â âSo you have to take into account the length of the tails when youâre negotiating the scene then? And know where on the body to focus the hits so you donât risk causing the wrong sort of pain and ending it early.â âExactly. Thatâs why negotiating the scene is important. Then both the dom and the sub will know what they want to achieve, what they want to get out of the experience, and they can tailor things to fit better. A lot of doms who are into impact play are likely to have multiple versions of their favourite toys â I myself have a few different paddles at home, I just didnât bring them all in with me today â so by talking through what you want theyâll be able to choose the style of toy that will best fit the scene.â âSo how do you use a flogger then? Is it the same as spanking and paddling where you just swing your arm forward?â âSort of. Floggers have a few different ways to use them. There is of course the single strike option where, yeah, you do just hit them like you would with a paddle. I find that you donât need to bring your arm back so far though, the movement comes from your elbow more than your shoulder.â Roger bent his arm so his hand and the flogger were roughly head height and then brought it down on the pig, âAnd you can change the angle of your single strike so that you hit them overhand or underhand or from one of the sides.â He demonstrated each direction as he said them, first bringing the flogger down from above, then swinging it up from below, then from the right side and finally a backhanded hit from the left. âBut you donât have to just pick a side to hit from. Paddles and hands are limited in how you can swing them but floggers have more movement. One way to use them is to swing them in a circle.â He moved back towards the pig to demonstrate, standing side on so that the tails whipped around and struck the pig, âI like starting off with circles because you can keep the pressure quite light. The tails sort of brush over the sub as they pass and it can be a good way to slowly build up. And then you can move into a figure eight as you get a bit harder.â Roger shifted his circles so they made a sideways eight in the air, subtly adjusting his stance so that the tail swished over the pigâs skin on both the forward and back motion.  You watched, awe-struck by how easily Roger swung the flogger, falling into a rhythm quickly. It wasnât hard to imagine how heâd suddenly change the speed or the force of the swing when you were least expecting it. Â
You were brought back to the present by Roger clearing his throat as he stilled the flogger, âThe figure eight is why you should practice your backhand swing as much as any other. Because the tails will hit the sub on both the forward and back swings and you want them to be as even as possible.â He flipped the flogger in his hands, holding the handle out to you.  It felt smooth and cool in your hand, lighter than the paddle had been. You swished it experimentally, trying to get a sense of how it felt in motion.â âShow me your overhand hit.â Roger said, leaning back against the nearest desk to watch.  You tried to imitate how heâd swung it, elbow bent, flogger raised.  It must have been good enough because Roger nodded and said, âhow about underhand?â He kept calling out different directions for a while, testing your reactions but you felt it helped you get a better grip on the toy and you found yourself adjusting how you held it so your movements became more fluid.  Roger watched you as you tried to keep up, his eyes locked onto your hands. Had you been looking, you might have caught sight of him subtly adjusting himself in his pants.  Finally, he seemed satisfied that you could successfully single strike from any direction and asked you to try the circle and figure eight motions. They were harder to start, more awkward as you tried to work out the best way to move the flogger, and you caught Roger chuckling.â âOi, stop laughing,â âDo you want some help?â he was still smiling but his request was genuine and when you nodded he stepped towards you. One of his hands moved to your waist as the other lay over yours on the handle of the flogger. You tried not to grin too much as he did exactly why youâd hoped, and you felt him so close behind you. âLike this,â His arm gently directed yours, the flogger beginning to move in a smooth circle.  âOh, not so hard then,â you laughed, half turning to face him, âYâknow if someone walked in now this would be pretty hard to explain.â His eyes darted to your lips, âGood thing we locked the door then.â You hummed, waiting to see if Roger would close the gap. He did a few seconds later, leaning in to kiss you softly. But the movement caused you both to forget about the flogger, your hands falling out of rhythm, and the tails whacking against your outstretched arms as they fell.  âOw,â you both groaned, Roger stepping away from you. It was disappointing but the disappointment was a little confusing. Surely you werenât hoping for your professor to kiss you when you had no intention of sleeping with him that night.  Roger laughed, âMaybe thatâs enough of the flogger today.â âMight be for the best. Good thing I was so bad at it, otherwise we might have been really hurt.â âYou werenât that bad. You actually looked good with it before I brought in the circles. Quite sexy really.â âThanks,â you said softly, trying to hide how pleased you were at that praise, âWhat else is there then?âÂ
âThere's only one more that I can demonstrate but then thereâs a few others Iâll touch on quickly too. So the last one I own is a crop.â He picked it up off the table, his fingers sliding along the length of itâs handle as he spoke, âThis one I would put in the stingy category. Itâs fast and sharp. Again, you can get crops in a few different styles. They will all have a handle like this, long and thin and probably with a slightly thicker point towards the end thatâs easy to hold onto. The difference will be in the bit you hit with. This one is based on the sort of riding crop that's used on horses, so itâs quite plain. Thereâs just this loop of leather which hangs off the end. But others can be more decorative. Iâve seen crops which had ends shaped like hearts or that had studs pushed into them. Some of them are padded and some have a more rounded shape. We like our variety.â âIt looks scarier than the others I think,â âYeah, theyâre quite intimidating arenât they. And if you do it right, itâll make a noise through the air, which just adds to how intimidating it can be.â âCan you show me how to swing it now?â âAbsolutely. Now, you want to stand a bit further back with a crop because there is such a long handle. And the magic is in the wrist with these. You just flick the wrist and...â You could hear the whooshing sound of it flying through the air before it cracked against the pig. âNow some crops are more bendy and some are more stiff so, if you get one, youâll want to practice swinging it a bit before you use it on a person, to get a feel for it. The flexibility of it might dictate how you stand or how strong the swing has to be. Give this one a go though.â You felt oddly powerful as you took the crop and tightened your fist around the end. For a moment a vision of you decked out in leather dominatrix gear popped into your head and you nearly laughed. Unfortunately, the intimidating whooshing noise Roger had achieved was not as easy for you to make as youâd hoped, and the imagined power soon dissipated as you struggled to make the weapon sing.  Roger however was not disappointed. âIt takes practice,â was what he said when you lamented your inability to create the sound, âAnd you donât have to have the sound to make a good hit. Itâs just kind of cool.â When you still seemed disappointed he sighed. âIf itâs any help, I canât always make the sound either. And besides, I wasnât intending to use that one on you, unless you really, really want to. I mostly brought it to show you as an interesting part of your theory lessons. And so youâd have a sense of what a cane is like, even though I donât have any of them to demonstrate.â âA cane? Like....caning? Like what Victorian kids used to have done if they misbehaved or whatever?â Roger laughed, âKind of, yeah. It does have a history in corporal punishment. Which, might I add, wasnât just for Victorian kids. It was still a thing when I was a kid. We didnât get caned, more likely to be whacked over the knuckles with a ruler, but still. I donât think it really left schools until the 80s.â âJesus,â âYeah. Occasionally I do wish I could bring out a ruler to shut a kid up,â he winked in jest, âAnyway, caning for BDSM is similar and uses the same sort of tool. A cane, funnily enough. Canes are long and thin like a crop but without the leather flap at the end or the more padded handle area. Traditionally theyâre made from rattan which is a type of plant, but you can also get synthetic canes which are covered in leather. In my experience synthetic canes are actually harder. Not to use, I mean in the way they feel when youâre hit with them. The traditional rattan ones require a lot of maintenance though. You have to water them between uses, literally soaking them in a bath of water so they donât dry out and break. But the benefit with a rattan cane is that if you get it home and realise youâd like something a bit shorter, you can cut it off yourself and just sandpaper down the rough edge and itâs good as new.â âSo are there any different version aside from synthetic? All the other toys had lots of variety.â âHmmm, not really. Most of the difference will be in how thick the cane is, which can effect the feel of it a lot. A thinner cane will sting when it hits and the force will make the skin hug the cane so it leaves these long marks behind. A thicker cane though might sting less but itâll still hurt a lot, just more thuddy. And you tend to get more bruising from the thicker ones.â âAnd do you use it the same as a crop?â âMostly, yes. The biggest difference is that you can use a larger section of a cane. The crop has the specific bit at the end to hit with whereas a cane doesnât have that limit. The most important thing to remember is to try and aim a little short of where you want to hit because if you hit with a part of the cane six inches down, those top six inches are going to hit as well, and with force behind them they will wrap around the personâs side or arse or whatever until they make contact. But other than that, itâs a similar motion from the wrist and uses a similar amount of energy. And canes can make the cool whippy noise too.âÂ
âIs that everything then?â âOne last one, really quick. Whips.â âOh yeah, Iâve heard of whipping in kink.â âYeah, itâs one of those things that gets mentioned a lot even if comparatively fewer people are actually into it. But everyoneâs heard the phrase chains and whips in relation to BDSM. There's a few different varieties of whips but I donât really know enough about them to know the difference. They all look like whips to me. Very cowboy. But theyâre one of the more intense versions of impact play. The pain they cause is quite sharp and stingy and will be very localised to a specific point because they have the one tail, as opposed to floggers which have multiple tails. Whips are very capable of breaking the skin though and feel very intensely painful. I do not recommend them unless you discover youâre a masochist and youâve tried everything else impact play has to offer.â âNo need to tell me twice, Professor. Definitely do not want to try whips any time soon.â âThatâs very reasonable. And that is all of the impact play options I wanted to go through. Thereâs a little more to cover regarding safety before I let you go for the night, but how about we put the pig away and hope no one notices itâs been marked by crops and floggers.â You chuckled and quickly moved to help Roger push the trolley back towards the freezer, locking the dead pig away securely, and to help pack up his toys. When everything was tidy again you re-took your seat, Roger taking the one beside you. It made the end of the lesson feel less like a lesson and more of just a casual chat, the topic of which happened to be BDSM.  âThe most important thing to remember when trying impact play is which parts of the body are safest to hit.â He paused for a moment, considering you, âBut youâve been studying biology for a while now, Ms Y/L/N. Care to guess which parts are safe and which parts you should avoid?â You hadnât expected to be asked so took a moment to consider your answer, âWell, the arse obviously. Ummm.... I guess Iâd assume the best places to hit are the bits with more meat on them.â âVery good. Entirely correct. Thereâs a reason most people think about spanking on the arse and thatâs because itâs one of the best places to spank. Well, that and the fact that spanking is used so frequently in punishment scenes where you bend the naughty girl over your knee. But, yes, hitting the arse is good. Hitting the thighs can also be good, though the bit just under the arse cheek where it connects to the thighs hurts a lot. Which isnât to say donât ever spank there, just be mindful that itâs going to hurt more than directly on the arse cheeks. The pecks or breasts can be good places to hit, even the upper back where the shoulder blade is can be good. What about places to avoid hitting? Any ideas what those might be?â You hummed in thought, âIâd imagine you wouldnât want to hit the spine since itâs so important.â âRight again Ms Y/L/N. The spine is definitely something to avoid. I donât like hitting on the back much at all because there's too much important stuff there but I do know some others who donât mind using a flogger there, especially while warming up before things get too intense. There are also the kidneys to watch out for,â he moved his hand to press against the spot on his own back, âbecause, as you no doubt know, part of the kidneys stick out under the ribcage so arenât fully protected. Then a little lower down, just above the arse, is the tailbone which should also be avoided.  âWhat about the neck? That would be bad to hit too, right?â âYup. And thatâs something to watch for if youâre doing anything on the shoulder blades. The spine of course runs all the way up the back of the neck and hitting there can do some very serious and lasting damage if youâre not careful. I know some people who will only flog the shoulder blades if the sub is wearing a collar because that adds a bit of protection around the C5 and C6 vertebrae but even so, better safe than sorry in my opinion. The front of the neck is also not good to hit since thatâs where the vocal cords and all that is.â âWhich is why you have to be careful with a floggerâs tails, right?â âRight. But what about on the front? Is there anywhere else youâd avoid?â âPussy,â you said with a laugh. Roger laughed too, âActually, depending on how itâs done, spanking a pussy can be quite enjoyable.â âWait really?â âYeah. I prefer doing it with my hand since you can feel when it makes the sub wet but itâs not totally unusual to use paddles or crops or even floggers down there too. Iâm sure some people whip as well.â You gulped at the thought. âThe biggest area to avoid on a personâs front side is the diaphragm and middle of the chest. Thereâs a lot of important stuff in there and a lot less tissue than elsewhere.â âDo people get badly hurt doing impact play?â you glanced over the list of places Roger said to avoid. It made it seem like almost any spanking was running the risk of more than just some bad bruising.  âSometimes.â Roger said seriously. He paused for a moment, thinking, and then continued, âThings can go wrong. And when youâre playing with intentionally hurting someone, things going wrong can be very serious. I wonât pretend there arenât stories of people trying impact play and ending up paralysed or worse. But if youâre careful, if you pay attention and only hit certain areas and are mindful of how hard youâre hitting, then youâre going to be fine. And thatâs why we come up with safe words and talk through scenes before we do them. So that you can minimize those risks and have a chance to communicate any worries or concerns.â âBut how can safe words help if you say them after youâve already been hurt too much?â âWell, for one, even if youâve been hurt badly, using your safe word can stop things from being made worse. But you donât have to wait until youâre hurt to use the safe word. Yes, if I spank you four times in a row and the fourth one feels so bad you canât go on, then you should use your safe word before I give you a fifth. But you could also use it after the third hit when you arenât sure if you want the fourth. And safe words arenât just about physical pain. If you start off excited but then feel anxious after two hits you are well within your rights to safe word. You donât have to wait until the damage is done. And, obviously, itâs not always easy to tell if that one hit more is going to be enough to make you want to stop. You canât always know if the next hit is going to catch your neck wrong and do serious damage. But if you feel at all worried that it might, speak up. Not just worried either. If you feel distracted or you think Iâm not paying enough attention to how Iâm spanking you, or if I move to spank and area you donât want me to touch, tell me. There is no wrong reason to use a safe word, even if weâre only a few minutes into the scene. Iâve said before that Iâd rather you tell me to stop than for us to go on and you not feel comfortable, and I mean it.â âI know, I guess I just never really thought about it being for mental stuff as well as physical.â âMmm, I should have checked that.â âWell, letâs face it, you probably tried and I just didnât pay attention. But, yâknow, youâre very good at reassuring me when I start to get nervous.â âI hope thatâs a good thing.â âIt definitely is. I think if I didnât have the reassurance, Iâd chicken out of some things.â âAs long as youâre aware of the difference between some healthy nerves and anxiety that could be a sign you should slow down. And that you keep telling me how youâre feeling.â âOf course I will.â âGood girl.âÂ
An understanding seemed to pass between you as you sat in near silence, eyes on the other. Until Roger drew in a long breath and stood up. âRight well, I think thatâs just about everything. Obviously we werenât able to see the levels of bruising that different implements can cause but itâs kind of dependent on the individual anyway. Everything can influence the severity of bruises and other marks. Tell me what a bruise is.â âItâs broken blood vessels under the skin which cause discolouration.â âBingo. Now, obviously being spanked with a hand will leave less obvious bruises than being hit with a crop will and usually a paddle will bruise less than....i donât know, a leather belt. But there's lots of factors to consider. The subâs age, diet, the colour of their skin, their hydration level, how much sun exposure theyâve had recently, stress levels, hormones. And the biggest of all is how much stimulus they receive on that part of the body. The more you hit a spot, the deeper it will bruise. So, donât expect bruises and marks to appear exactly the same every time you make them. There are some ways to heighten or lessen marks left during BDSM, but Iâll go through those when youâre ready for our practical lessons. And weâll also go through some ideas for popular scenes and positions before we settle on what our scene will look like.â Roger seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, âOf course, itâs not so late we have to stop. If you did want to start testing out some light impact play, or if you wanted to revisit a previous topic, youâre more than welcome to come back to mine.â âNo,â you said much too fast, the suggestion catching you completely off guard. âOkay, no problem,â Roger said, his eyes downcast. âI didnât mean...just that tonightâs not great timing.â Youâd really thought youâd got out of having to talk about it but you could see Roger was going to ask what you were talking about when on a regular tutoring night youâd likely still be in his bed. All the same you couldnât quite make eye contact as you explained, âMy period started last night, thatâs all. Makes things a bit awkward.â âOh is that all?â You shrugged, âYeah.â âWell thereâs no need to feel awkward or embarrassed about that. And thereâs no reason to hide it from me. Aside from the fact that Iâve been married and had kids, Iâve also been teaching biology for longer than I care to count, so Iâm very familiar with the reproductive processes and the reality of the menstrual cycle.â âI knew you were going to say something like that.â âBecause itâs true. And besides, periods are important to factor into our lessons because they can change how youâll respond to various kinks. Fluctuating hormone levels can change how much you enjoy or desire sex, as well as the physical sensation of different forms of touch. A lot of women find breast stimulation uncomfortable in the lead up to their period because their breasts become tender at that stage of their cycle. It can also make vaginal sex undesirable, at least in the first couple of days if not longer, whether because of a physical discomfort or pain, or just because it makes sex messier and more annoying to clean up after. The hormonal shifts in a menstrual cycle can also effect libido too, either stopping you from feeling aroused or causing hyper arousal. And all of that is important to consider, especially when we get to other things like orgasm denial. So, donât feel you have to hide your periods from me, okay? I want to know if something is going to effect how enjoyable these lessons are for you. And plus, I factored periods into the timeline, remember? If you want to postpone for a week we can. His little speech did put you at ease a bit, the weight of admitting the truth no longer as heavy now that he knew, but it still wasnât an especially comfortable conversation, âWell, I should be okay to go in a few days.â âWould you be up for having sex on one of the last days of your period when your flow is a little lighter? Or would you rather wait until after it was finished?â You tried not to cringe too much upon hearing Roger talk about your flow, âAfter I think. I donât know. How do you feel about it?â Roger shrugged, âIf we were just having sex without the kinky stuff Iâd be okay with period sex. Itâs a little more effort since weâd need to put towels down and all that but Iâm not completely opposed to it if weâre both in the mood. However, I think since weâre playing with BDSM itâs probably a good idea to wait.â You nodded, glad the topic was almost settled, âYeah, that makes sense. I think Iâd feel too self-conscious to enjoy any period sex but youâre definitely right about the BDSM stuff. Just makes it easier for my first time trying things out if Iâm not worrying about, um, bleeding everywhere.â Roger gave you a reassuring smile which made your heart flutter, grateful he hadnât made things too difficult or drawn out, âThatâs settled then. We can put a pin in all of this for now and come back to it when youâre ready.â âThanks. Will Friday suit? I think I should be right by then.â âFriday sounds great.â âReally? You donât have to, like, pick up the kids or anything?â Roger shook his head, amused, âNo. It is technically my weekend with them but theyâre both staying at friendâs placed over night so I wonât see them until Saturday. Friday we can start testing some things and if we need to, we can come back next Monday and go through more. And I finish a bit earlier on Fridays so maybe we could start a bit earlier.â âYeah that works for me.â âGreat. I guess we should get out of here then.â Roger ushered you from the classroom and walked beside you all the way to the carpark, your footsteps echoing down the corridors. He chatted to you quietly about non-kinky topics, as if youâd merely ended up walking the same direction by accident, just in case anyone was looking.  You were almost sad to reach your car, drawing the conversation to an end, âThis is me.â âOne last thing, Ms Y/L/M.â âMmm?â âFor homework-â âHomework?â âYes. For homework I want you to watch some porn with impact play in it. Youâll find a few examples linked in a document Iâve dropped in our folder but feel free to find your own too. It can be spanking by hand or flogging or any other form of impact we discussed today, whatever turns you on most. Because I want you horny when I see you on Friday. I want you to spend all week thinking about naughty sluts who get spanks, knowing youâll soon be one of them. I want you excited to be hit and wet at the thought of me spanking your arse and cunt while I fill your holes with cock. Is that clear?â Roger had leant closer as he talked and your stomach did a backflip as he stood up. All you could do was nod, completely lost for words as Roger chuckled and walked into the dark towards his own car. Â
#my writing#my fics#roger taylor x reader#roger taylor smut#roger taylor imagine#gonna try and get the next one written a bit quicker lmao
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tower of nero spoilers
i have just finished the tower of nero. and before i go searching for other peopleâs thoughts and art and more of the characters i love so much, i want to write down some of my own thoughts because i know as soon as i delve into that âton spoilersâ hashtag there are going to be complaints and criticisms and so much that i donât want to hear, or essays thatâll make me upset, or things thatâll change my perception on the book (because on this website people really love to hate the trials of apollo).
i want to start with: i loved it. it didnât feel earth-shattering or huge and momentous like some of my favourite riordanverse books (house of hades, the blood of olympus, the last olympian and maybe some of the magnus chase books take those pedestals for me) but it was satisfying. and i think it was satisfying because it in no way felt like an ending. whether because eventually rick will write that will-and-nico-go-through-tartarus-and-save-bob novella, or because we (or at least i) will continue writing and imagining and creating for this world i donât know. he didnât wrap up the story in a perfect little bow like ânineteen years laterâ, he simply put it on pause. gave us a glimpse of where every character was at at the end.
the only thing that makes me so angry and upset is that i did manage to get some spoilers for moments that i know would have been so good to experience for the first time if i hadnât been spoiled for them. the moment where rachel mentions penguins in a mansion near her house, nico getting mental health advice from mr d, the fact that will and nico were going to be in the book for so much of the story, but the big thing was literally spoiled for me two days ago, it was the reason i sat down to read it as fast as possible because i was terrified of getting more spoiled and not being able to experience the moments for myself, was that piper had a girlfriend. i know that reading that for the first time would have been so cool and surprising, and the fact that when it came up for a moment in the last couple pages all i felt was disappointment because it was spoiled for me and because it was now tinged with whatever that person was saying about her having a girlfriend.
but i still had some warm fuzzy moments, the two parts where apollo thinks heâs going to die but nico comes up behind him - so good. impeccable.Â
Leader Guy spat. âNow, I kill you.â
He raised his sword... and froze. His face turned pale. His skin began to shrivel. His beard fell out whisker by whisker like dead pine needles. Finally, his skin crumbled away, along with his clothes and flesh, until Leader Guy was nothing but a bleached-white skeleton, holding a sword in his bony hands.Â
Standing behind him, his hand on the skeletonâs shoulder, was Nico di Angelo.
and
Nero raised his hand, ready to give the kill command, when behind me a mighty BOOM! shook the chamber. Half our enemies were thrown off their feet. Cracks sprouted in the windowsand the marble columns. Ceiling tiles broke, raining dust like split bags of flour.Â
I turned to see the impenetrable blast doors lying twisted and broken, a strangely emaciated red bull standing in the breach. Behind it stood Nico di Angelo.
gods. poetic brilliance. i canât believe iâm still a nico di angelo stannie in the year 2021. in five years i have not changed (ever since the tv show announcement last summer i have managed to morph into myself from 2017)
from here iâm not sure where to go next i kind of want to go through everything, except itâll be more difficult than my tyrantâs tomb reaction because i wasnât reading on a kindle and thus canât just do funny little reactions to screenshots of quotes, so iâll just skim through the book page by page and see what i can comment on (iâm not planning on doing analysis today, no thank you, just enjoying the end of my childhood and trying to squeeze as much out of it as possible)
i have an emotional attachment to mr. snake from the very first chapter, and am very upset that heâll never get off on his baltimore stop and get to see his wife, lu had no reason to shoot and kill him like that.
that brings me to lu, i liked her, it was interesting to see how rick kind of brought in not only the overarching theme of abuse, but also people who let the abuse happen, i have more i could say on this iâm too lazy to right now, and i promised no analysis - or the fact that Lu had conspired to make the show non-lethal to spare Megâs feelings rather than - oh, I donât know - refusing to do Neroâs dirty work in the first place and getting Meg out of that house of horrors.Â
And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?
Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to opppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything.
the parallels to meg and lester heading to percyâs apartment, and then to camp half blood to the hidden oracle was so cool to read, every callback to the hidden oracle just there to remind us readers exactly how far apollo has come and how heâs changed; the entire chapter with sally, paul and estelle just felt sickly sweet, it just didnât seem real how wholesome and good that family is, like i get why apollo broke down and just sobbed in that shower.
also rick really saying acab again in toa, i thought he was done after that elf cop chapter in magnus chase (the magnus chase series is a masterpiece) but apparently not, with A âgood copâ is still a cop... still a part of the mind game.
the grey sisters, i forgot about them completely but this threw me back into was it the sea of monsters when annabeth summoned them? iâm not sure, it could have been the lightning thief either, they really remind me of the disney hercules movie. the whole ganymede paragraph was gold, i love gods being canonically confirmed lgbt in the riordanverse. i also love the whole eye-tossing part -Â
âHe will crush our eye,â Anger cried, âif we donât recite our verses!â
âI will not!â
âWe will all die!â Wasp said. âHe is crazy!â
âI AM NOT!â
âFine, you win!â Tempest howled.
also, the explanation for why dionysus chooses to look the way he does was perfect, because it was something i often wondered about and wasnât expecting to get an explanation for, and i imagine the whole mythological dionysus to look like.. well like a more feminine apollo i guess, beautiful in a gender non-comforming way.
Other Olympians could never comprehend why Dionysus chose this form when he could look like anything he wanted. In ancient times, heâd been famous for his youthful beauty that defied gender.
...Â
In retaliation, Dionysus had decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared.
every scene with nico at camp just BREAKS ME, i would throw in screenshots of every damn quote but unfortunately, as said above, cannot and would rather not type every one; weâll start with, obviously apollo confirming to him that jason is dead.Â
He didnât look angry exactly. He looked as if heâd been hit in the gut not just once but so many times over the course of so many years that he was beginning to lose perspective on what it meant to be in pain. He swayed on his feet. He blinked. Then he flinched, jerking his hands away from Megâs as if heâd just remembered his own touch was poison.
ugh then will talking about how nicoâs doing, confirming that heâs suffering with ptsd, mr d giving him advice, helping him sort though what voices in his head are real and which ones arenât, then the paragraph that just recounts every horrific thing poor nico has been through, how will has to reassure him that heâs okay and âwith friendsâ when he wakes up after shadow travel
willâs kindness to apollo, buying him clothes, and apollo finding seymour the leopardâs head in his bed, put there by mr d aaaa AAAA A A A A A THE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CAMP HALF BLOOD THINGS..
i could go on for years and years about how much i appreciate rachel having a big role in this book, and the visit to her apartment, everything, her art, the fact that she got what she wanted, sheâs going to PARIS to study ART, she isnât forced to be someone sheâs not by her dad, and gets to be a big part of a demigod mission and not stand on the sidelines for once.
i love that her landscapes are still visions, that she still paints the quests demigods go on - the burning maze, jasonâs funeral pyre, caligulaâs ships; and how nico ~appreciates art~
âAnd, hey, di Angelo -â she pushed him playfully away from the canvas heâd been ogling -Â âdonât brush against the art! I donât care about the paintings, but if you get any colour on you, youâll ruin that whole black-and-white aesthetic youâve got going.â
i. love. rachel.
WILL GLOWS!! THE HEADCANONS FROM LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO THAT YOUâD SEE FLOATING AROUND ABOUT HIM MANIPULATING LIGHT!! CONFIRMED!! CANON!! AMAZING
I AM OBSESSED WITH THE TROGS, I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE GREAT, not gonna lie, i was expecting something more dramatic and spooky with how worried will was and how dionysus was going.. visiting the cavern-runners isnât ⫠good for your mental health  ⫠but the little hat frog gremlins were a good addition. i like them very much and their funky little soup shenanigans. quoting the ghost king himself: trogs good. nice hats. (IM SORRY I KEEP MENTIONING HIM BUT I JUST) also how apollo starts wishing for breadsticks a s ajoke and theY STRAIGHT UP HAVE BREADSTICKS? HUH? WHERE DID THEY GET THE BREADSTICKS FROM??
yeah, iâm also still very much upset by every mention of jason grace, itâs funny how ever since his death in the burning maze i have grown to love him more and more and thatâs not fun for me, for that boy to become one of my main comfort characterâs and have his death and sacrifice and nobility mentioned every few chapters. iâm pretty sure i cried when he appeared to talk in apolloâs dreams, and this time the tears werenât from the effort of keeping my eyes open and working for hours straight reading this book (i remember staying up until 2am to finish the sequel to beautiful, broken things, it was very much worth it)
âAll right, Jason. We miss you, though.â
ALSO. THE FACT THAT THIS KID. THIS CHILD. HAD TO THINKÂ âBUT IF A HERO ISNâT READY TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR A GREATER CAUSE, IS THAT PERSON REALLY A HERO?â A KID ISNâT SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND BE READY TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREATER GOOD,, i,, ugh,, heâs supposed to be finishing school and designing temples not being the perfect hero and soldier,, spain without the s,,
as @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name said: âthinking about how ghost! Jason didnât seem to understand why Apollo was so upset about his death because heâs been raised to believe a heroâs sacrifice is noble and his life doesnât matter in the grand scheme and also if he doesnât understand why the person who watched him get horrifically killed is so torn up over his death he probably doesnât even realize his other friends are grieving him..â
IM SO UPSET THE ARROW OF DODONA IS DEAD D: IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ALL THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS WERE BECAUSE OF THAT ARROW AND IT'S DEATH WAS SO SAD WTH LIKE WE FIND OUT HOW USELESS THE ARROW FELT AND HOW THE GROVE OF DODONA ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CRAP AND WOULD FAIL APOLLO AND THEN ONCE WE FEEL BAD FOR IT, IT DIES??
the entire python battle was pretty grim, there is a part of me that's like because this is the last book series i would have loved say the magnus chase and kane chronicles gang in a giant battle with everyone like the battle of manhattan but even more dramatic, but even so, i did appreciate that python battle and the whole almost-falling-into-the-depths-of-tartarus thing.
him talking to artemis was cool, but JESUS: 'I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked.' like that HURTS. it was such a huge culture shock for apollo to go throught this huge character arc and be so human and understand the pain of others, to be around gods again who are so.. apathetic. also, zeus. 'Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let's be honest: some fathers don't deserve that. Some aren't capable of it.'
OKAY OKAY SO THE END?? CHIRON TALKING TO A CAT (BAST) AND A SEVERED HEAD (MIMIR) ABOUT SHARED PROBLEMS WITHIN THE PANTHEONS!! WILL AND NICO RECEIVING A PROPHECY FROM RACHEL TO GO TO TARTARUS AND SAVE BOB!! THE HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS, INCLUDING THALIA AND REYNA BEING BEST FRIENDS (qpr.. qpr..) HUNTING THE TEUMESSIAN FOX!! PERCY, ANNABETH AND GROVER, THE ORIGINAL TRIO, GOING ON A CHAOTIC ROAD TRIP TOGETHER!! - SO MANY STAND-ALONE SET -UPS PFSJSJSJ
okay quick word on the reunions at the end: funny little elephant visitation program with livia and hannibal. love that for them. calypso and leo's relationship seems rocky and complicated, but that's to be expected, i think even if they do get properly back together again it might not last long, because it does pretty much feel like a teenage relationship where the two aren't very compatible, but we'll see. hazel and frank are so funny with their gold plated necklaces. lavinia - tap-dance icon. almost cried at the mention of jason's temple-extension plan again. percy not being sure about what he wants to do in college is accurate and i like that that's left to be up-for-interpretation (rick does THE MOST for the fanfic writers pfsjsj). i am OBSESSED with aeithales, like i hate deserts so the burning maze setting is not my favourite but GOD that HOUSE, the vibes are off-the-charts. i'd love a house made of living trees that's also a greenhouse filled with dryads. meg gets a unicorn. that is so great.
i kind of wish the book hadn't ended with 'Call on me. I will be there for you.' because every time I imagine the friends theme song and i don't think that's the vibe he was going for, BUT i do love him talking to meg, that was genuinely emotional - 'You'll come back?' she asked. 'Always,' I promised. 'The sun always comes back.' ; i really wish it had ended with that, but i guess apollo does tend to break fourth walls and talk to the readers, like a lot of the protagonists of riordanverse books.
#the tower of nero#tower of nero#tower of nero spoilers#the tower of nero spoilers#nico di angelo#rachel elizabeth dare#will solace#jason grace#apollo#trials of apollo#the hidden oracle#the dark prophecy#the burning maze#the tyrants tomb#percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#lester papadopoulos#meg mccaffrey#dionysus#piper mclean#hazel levesque#frank zhang#reyna arellano#thalia grace#leo valdez#calypso#brooklyn house#original content
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fly away with you
an ezra x reader fic~
rating: m for smut; virgin reader; some violenceÂ
word count: 6,780
summary: Waking up with no memory after a head injury, you find yourself in the presence of your rescuer - a handsome stranger named Ezra.Â
a/n: I AM SO SORRY iâve had this fic like...finished but i just never got around to posting it. i had it broken up in chapters, but i just decided to post them all here w/ breaks to signify where the chapter would have ended. (im also adding the first two parts - so if anything seems familiar this is why!)Â
Ringing. Thereâs a loud ringing in your ears. Your vision is blurry, and that ringing wonât stop. You canât hear anything else, and youâre not sure what youâre seeing. The color brown and green seem to blur together. What happened? Did you hit your head?
Reaching up to touch your temple, you feel wet. Your hair having been matted down with something sticky. Pulling your hand away, you look at it. Not that it does any good because your vision is still blurred. But thereâs enough red on your fingertips to know it is blood.
Suddenly you smell it, your blood. And dirt. And earth.
Something else is mixed in, maybe smoke? Something in the air is foul.
The air.
You panic. Whereâs your helmet? How long have you been breathing in this air? Itâs the air you smell thatâs foul. What if itâs toxic? Frantically you try to get up, but you can barely get your legs under you. Youâre still too dizzy.
When your vision finally clears, you see your helmet on the ground next to you. Thereâs a large crack leading to a hole. Shards are everywhere. Some have blood on them, and you assume this is where your head injury is from. But upon further inspection, you see blood on the rock nearest you.
What happened?
Itâs still foggy, but you try and retrace your steps from the day.
You had been with your cousin, whose whereabouts now you have no idea. It wasnât even your choice to come along. But he claimed that your hands were the steadiest, and youâd be best for the harvesting. You had no idea what he was even talking about. You only agreed because your home world is the last place you want to be right now. And hey, he said heâd pay you so why not?
The ship ride over was a nightmare. It was smooth sailing quite frankly, but youâve never been a fan of space travel. You like it on the ground. Though at the present moment the ground is covered in your blood, what a day itâs been. And you can barely remember it.
You do remember harvesting a couple of those things, you canât even think to remember what your cousin called them. It wasnât easy but it wasnât hard either. You did just fine.
You also remember some arguing? Something was happening? There were these other people?
Itâs starting to come back to you, but this air is getting to you. How long have you been walking? Are you even going in the right direction? You feel dizzy again and things are starting to spiral.
Then everything goes black.
A voice this time brings you out of your stupor. You canât make out what theyâre saying, but you can make out itâs a male voice. Itâs not your cousin, this voice has a thick accent.
You blink several times to clear your vision again, and you take in your surroundings and this stranger.
First you notice youâre inside laying on a cot of some sort. Everything in the room is an olive green. An ugly yellow light shines overhead. Itâs very dim. The space is small, it seems to be a large tent. Thereâs medical supplies and strange photographs on the wall. Where is this?
The man is sitting near you in a metal folding chair. Heâs got no choice but to sit close to you, thereâs not any room in this area.
Heâs in a suit not unlike your own. His face is kind. His voice is deep, but nonthreatening. Light scruff dusts his cheeks and jaw, and his eyes are pleasant. Thereâs a small blond streak in his brown hair. And a haggard scar on his cheek. His kind eyes and kind smile almost seem out of place next to that scar.
Heâs still talking, but you canât make out what heâs saying. Heâs gesturing with his hand. Just one. Itâs only then you realize heâs missing his right arm. You feel dizzy again. What if this man is dangerous? Or did he just lose that arm in some accident?
You reach up to touch your temple again, and you feel cloth. A bandage has been wrapped around your head. And you notice, other than a slight headache, youâre not in any pain.
âWhere am I?â you wonder aloud. Your throat is so dry your voice croaks.
âAt last, the lady is with us!â the man speaks and this time you understand him. His voice sounds nice. That accent is so strong. âAlas, I must admit, I myself do not know where this is. But I was out and about on my harvest when I saw you lyinâ unconscious on the ground. You were gaspinâ for air. So, I took it upon myself to bring you to shelter and here we are.â he gestures with his arm while he looks around the room. That ugly yellow light shines on his face, and suddenly the light is not so ugly on his tan skin.
âThank you,â you tell him sitting up a little. Youâre still feeling dizzy, but you feel safe. âWhat happened?â you think aloud again. And where is your cousin?
âI heard what sounded like gunfire off in the distance,â he explains, âthatâs how I came to find you.â
âI was with my cousin; did you see anyone?â
âI am afraid I only saw some bodies, miss. You were the only one I saw alive.â
Your cousin, and whoever attacked you must have been near where you first woke up. But in your daze, you started walking and missed the bodies entirely.
You were warned this was dangerous work. Sniffling, you wipe your nose with the back of your hand. Grief and shock are setting in. Your cousin is gone, and your harvest.
âIâm stuck here,â you whisper.
âNonsense,â the man smiles, itâs a warm smile. He seems so kind. You want to trust him. You may have no other choice. âI could not in good conscience leave you behind. You have suffered a mighty fine wound to your noggin, and your poor lungs have breathed in this nasty shit air we got around here.â
He is talking so fast that you can barely keep up.
âNow, Iâm sure youâre a-wonderinâ if you can trust me. And right now, little birdie, Iâm all youâve got.â
In any other situation, if a stranger called you a pet name, you might recoil. But he says things so casually, you donât feel any malice or perversion behind it.
âYou can help me harvest, and I can get you outta here. There is my offer plain and simple. You can surely decline, but if your cousin is gone, my condolences. And you have no way to get home.â
Home. You donât want to go home. You donât want to stay here, but you donât want to go home.
âWhatâs that?â he leans forward, his eyes squinting. Heâs trying to hear; you didnât realize youâve just said that out loud. âWhere are you from?â
âZulara,â you mumble.
He winces, clenching his teeth, âI do not blame you one bit for not wantinâ to head on back to that planet. I am currently residinâ on Anvarvis V, and Iâd be glad to take you along with me.â
You sit for a moment weighing your options. Youâve heard good things about Anvarvis V. or was it IV?
âWeâll split the harvest 50/50?â you ask.
He nods.
âOk. Itâs a deal,â you nod and stick out your hand.
âAlright,â he grins. âIâm Ezra, what can I call you?â
 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
 And thatâs how you began a partnership with Ezra. You worked well together. Tuns out you were really good at the harvesting part, and Ezraâs wit and charm made him a good salesman. He brokered deals and sold the product youâd harvested for a lot of money.
Youâve been so busy; youâve not even gone to his home planet yet. But somehow you liked this life with him. Thereâs space enough of his ship for you, and you quite enjoy his company.
Truth be told you enjoy his company more and more each passing day. Your cheeks warm now when he calls you âlittle bird.â Your heart leaps into your throat if he ever touches you.
That first week with him he touched you a lot. Yes, okay he was checking the bandage on your head, but his fingers would graze skin and he was standing so close to you.
Thatâs when it first started you think. Being so close, seeing his soft lips surrounded by a dark stubble. His gentle brown eyes looking over your wound.
Maybe you were just lonely. Or maybe it was sharing such a small space with your rescuer. But you had a crush that only seemed to grow.
It started to suffocate you being so close to him and not being his.
The two of you fell into a natural routine and you grew accustomed to seeing him shirtless. That first time seeing him without a shirt almost sent you over. You ached to touch his olive skin. He looked so warm. You had to force yourself not to stare.
He thought you were looking at his right shoulder, where his arm used to be. And he began to ramble on about how it happened. You were embarrassed because thatâs not what you were looking at, but you listened to his story all the same. He was opening up to you.
Ezra has the gift of gab, and he talks nonstop. But if you ever have anything to say, he listens with a deep interest. Youâve never felt so heard before. He never talks over you. His constant talking if often stories or little tidbits of trivia, but after that night of him opening up about his arm, things changed.
He was almost always in a good mood, but when he couldnât complete a task due to his arm, heâd be a little grumpy and frustrated. But after telling you what happened, he let you help him without protest.
Maybe he got the feeling he could trust you back.
âThank you, little bird,â he always said. And the last time he said it, you know he saw your cheeks turn red.
You figure at some point heâll ask, or youâll admit your feelings. Youâre not sure which, but both options scare you. Youâve never done this before.
Back at home, you spent most of your life in school or working. There was no time for relationships, as much as you wanted one. You read stories of lovers, you kept them hidden under your mattress. The want was there, but no experience to fulfill that big question in your mind of what itâs like.
What it feels like to be loved by someone, to be held. You always were a little shy about the sexual parts of the book, yet those were the parts you couldnât tear your eyes away from.
âWhat are you thinking about over there?â Ezraâs voice cuts in. A deep blush stains your cheeks. Youâd been remembering of a story youâd read where a man pleasures a woman with his mouth. You look at Ezraâs mouth and feel your stomach drop and pray he canât read your mind.
âNothing,â you chirp at being caught.
âFrom that look on your face, Iâm gonna wager a gamble and say itâs definitely something clanking around in that head.â
Scrambling, you try to think of anything to change the subject. Heâs watching you squirm, and heâs delighted in it. Maybe it wonât be too hard after all to tell him if he can already see it.
âWhenâs the next sell?â you ask, nibbling the skin off your bottom lip.
âPretty soon,â he replies. âI will head out soon. Wonât be gone long. Will you be alright to wait here until I make a triumphant return?â he grins.
You nod, returning his smile. You feel a heat pooling in between your legs. You shift a little in your seat trying to relieve the pressure. As soon as heâs gone, youâll do something about it.
Two nights ago, you touched yourself thinking of him. That was the first time. Youâd seen his bare ass when he was exiting the shower area. He had to have known you might see, and you couldnât decide which thought thrilled you more. But the image of him naked was seared into your mind. And that night while he slept soundly, you touched yourself - wishing it were him.
Youâd come up with a dirty fantasy, one you will play out again as soon as he leaves. And he canât leave soon enough.
Normally, youâd go with him. But this buyer is a familiar one and can be trusted. Youâre not worried about Ezra taking care of himself in a fight. Heâs been in plenty of a scrap or two.
But if youâre honest, your brain is so clouded with the thought of getting a release youâre not worried about him in the slightest.
The thought passes in your mind you donât know how long heâll be gone, so you elect to leave your pants on. You lay down on your bed in your little corner of the ship.
The main hanger is around room, your beds are on opposite walls but still in the same room. So, you can see his bed from yours, and you consider going over to his bed, but youâve already got your hand down your pants thinking about him on your bed.
You begin to tease yourself and youâre already wet from your own imagination. You think of him naked. What he looks like from the front. What he must look like when heâs hard for you. You think of his lips, and how his hand feels. What they must feel like on sensitive skin. You think of his stubble scraping your thighs. How good his long thick fingers would feel like inside of you. How heâd be gentle taking you for the first time.
Your thighs shake and you clench around your fingers wishing it were him.
The release hits you hard, and you gasp. It echoes through the ship. Your breathing is heavy but beginning to calm, when suddenly you hear:
âWell hello there little birdie!â
 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
 Horror floods through your veins and your heart is pounding in your head. Youâre still coming down from your high, while fear spikes within you. Your eyes are wide, and youâre frozen staring at him. Your mouth is hanging open, and his mouth is curved in a playful smirk.Â
When tears begin to fall from your eyes, his expression softens completely.Â
âLittle bird, I-,â he sticks his hand out trying to demonstrate he didnât mean to embarrass you, but itâs too late. Tears pouring down your cheeks you run into the bathroom chamber and push the button to close the door harshly. It hisses loudly, and the moment it closes you sink to the floor. Cheeks red with embarrassment.Â
In those books youâve read, maybe the character wouldnât have cared. And would have let the man know what she was doing. But this just isnât how you wanted this to happen. As much as you do want Ezra to know you want him. The shock of the moment startled you.Â
Ezra outside in the main hangar is uncharacteristically quiet. You can hear him rummaging around. From the sound of it, heâs taking off the bulky outer suit. It takes him a moment since he only has the help of one arm.Â
Heâll be sitting down on his bunk and unfasten the clips and zippers. He grits his teeth sometimes, other times he bites his lower lip. You tease him about the different faces he makes when heâs concentrating on something.Â
Deciding to clear your mind further, you turn on the shower. For a moment you hope he doesnât need to take one after being outside, but you imagine heâs letting you have your space for a moment.Â
While you shower, you try to decide what youâre even going to say.Â
âHi Ezra, I was touching myself thinking about you.âÂ
Well. That might not be a bad way to start. But that feeling of nerves hits your gut. What if he doesnât want you back? What if he does want you?Â
You mull this over in your mind and wash yourself clean. Normally the thought of being naked in here while heâs out there has sent you a thrill. Now youâre even more aware of him.Â
You decide you do want him. But you donât know where to start. Him seeing you is one way to break the ice.Â
Gathering your courage, you wrap a towel around yourself and exit the bathroom into the main hanger. Your eyes fix upon him, and every nerve is on fire.Â
As expected, heâd changed out of his suit. Heâs sitting on his cot in comfortable pants, a worn black Henley, and some socks. His hair is sweaty, but itâs sticking up in multiple directions from obviously running a hand through it. His right arm sleeve is tied in a knot near his shoulder to stay out of his way. Heâs got something propped up on his left knee, and heâs practicing his hand strength with his left hand. He pauses when he sees you, he doesnât speak.Â
Heâs waiting for you to say something first. He can read the terror in your eyes as you step closer. Giving you full attention, he frees his hand, and watches you approach him slowly.Â
When youâre right in front of his spread legs, he reaches out a hand to grab yours.Â
âYou doinâ alright there little bird? You are tremblinâ like a leaf on a tree with strong winds blowinâ every which way.âÂ
You open your mouth trying to think of what to say. Youâd forgotten your entire plan youâd cooked up in the shower. Now that youâre here in front of him and heâs looking at you with those soft eyes, your mind is blank.Â
You almost wonder if you should just drop the towel and climb on him, but you canât help but want some romancing.Â
âSay whatâs on your mind little bird, I see the wheels turning in your head.âÂ
âIâm sorry you had to see that,â is all you can think to say. But are you sorry? You donât know whatâs going on.Â
âIâm not,â he grins, but the grin softens, and his eyes are gentle. He stands and presses his palm to your cheek. Shaking a little from the touch, you lean into his hand. âBut I am sorry that my presence startled you so, and that I saw such an intimate act without your permission. I admit I was only present for the uh, grand finale as it were, but on my honor, I will not speak of this again if you would prefer it.âÂ
Your cheeks darkened as he spoke, and you can see the look in his eyes. Itâs a gentle attraction.Â
âI-â you start but only blush deeper under his gentle gaze. His eyes are big, heâs listening intently.Â
âI understand your profound embarrassment, but there is nothing to be ashamed of seeking a fine release such as that. If I may say little bird, Iâm only sorry I was not the one to give it to you.âÂ
Your eyes widen at the last sentence. You swallow hard.Â
This is it.Â
âYou want me?â
âI do little bird. I have for a quite a spell now. You are, simply put, the sweetest thing I have ever had the pleasure to know, and you have brought a light into my dark life I did not know I was needinâ.âÂ
His hand is still on your face, his thumb brushes you bottom lip.Â
âI want you too,â you give him a shy smile which he returns, âonly I donât know what Iâm doing.âÂ
âYou surely seemed to know a few moments ago,â he winks.Â
âEzra,â you groan and bury your face in his shoulder.Â
âMy sincerest apologies,â he teases, âI already broke my promise.âÂ
Heâs trying to make you laugh, which it does. And the two of you share a moment of laughter before you pull back to look up at him again.Â
âIâm serious though, Ezra. I donât know how to do this. Iâve never-â
âNever what?â he repeats, thumb rubbing your flushed cheeks.Â
âIâve never even been kissed,â you tell him.Â
âWell, little bird. It would seem the honor has been bestowed to me to teach you the lovely ways of liplockinâ.âÂ
âWhat do I do?â you whisper, which he seems to find amusing.Â
âYou know something, I have never once been in situation quite like this in my lifetime.âÂ
That coaxes a smile from you, and youâre already feeling relaxed.Â
âI canât say that I have either,â you laugh.Â
âFirst step, is to close those pretty little eyes of yours.âÂ
You close your eyes, and smile, you trust him. You think back to when you met him all those weeks ago when he saved your life. You certainly didnât imagine this happening then.Â
âNow, tilt your head just a little,â he pushes a little with his hand guiding you. âAnd open that mouth of yours, just a smidge.â He pushes down your bottom lip with his thumb.Â
His voice stops, and you feel his breath on your face. He smells like mint and sweat. You decide itâs a good smell.Â
You feel the tip of his nose first press against the top of your cheek. Then his lips gently press against yours. His tongue just barely touches your lips. His stubbly chin and upper lip scrape on your skin in a way you didnât know youâd love this much. His hand holds your face gently, and what he doesnât say, or canât say during this kiss, is he wishes he could wrap his other arm around you.Â
Your knees buckle, and you let go of the towel thatâd youâd been holding on to so tight and mold your body to his. A strong thigh is in between your legs, your hands cup his face and you pull away gasping. Your heart is fluttering.
Heâs slow to open his eyes, the smile splits his face before his eyelids even flutter open.Â
âNow that,â he licks his lips, âwas simply divine.â He leans in and places a couple quick pecks to your lips getting a laugh from you.Â
You take a step back, and the towel is going to fall. And you were going to let it. But much to your surprise, his hand stops it by pressing his hand against your chest, keeping the cloth from exposing you to him.Â
âHold on now,â he breathes. âThat little heart thatâs fluttering under my hand has surely had enough excitement for one day. And as much as I would love to see that body of yours, I am not wanting to take you to bed in this dirty old ship. I would rather take you home. Since I am unfortunately missing a tool of the trade, I am not experienced in taking lovers into my bed with olâ lefty here. Itâll be a learning experience for us both little bird. You alright with that?âÂ
You nod, putting your hand over his on your chest.Â
âThen letâs get you home.âÂ
 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
 Your head is pounding, and you can see him. Your cousin. Itâs like youâre on the outside looking in. You see the clearing of trees and two men with your cousin. Itâs a standoff, everyone is frozen. There you hear a sharp crack somewhere in the woods, causing the men to take fire. One man shoots your cousin, the other steals the harvest from your cousinâs dead hands. Then that man is shot, he killed his own partner and took the harvest from his hands. He turned around to face you, and you saw his face.Â
It was Ezra.Â
With a sharp gasp, you jolt awake. Sweat is on your brow, your heart is racing, and you feel sick to your stomach. Panic sets in because you canât remember where you are.Â
Looking around you realize that youâre home, with Ezra.Â
After your kiss with him, he got the ship ready and punched in the coordinates to head home. His home, but now it would be yours. You expressed to him your apprehension of space travel, and he took down the med pack to give you a medicine to calm your nerves.Â
âFear of flying is not uncommon,â heâd told you warmly with a kiss on your cheek.Â
After the flight and landing, he gave you another medicine to help your lungs adjust to the air of this planet.Â
You were so nervous, but full of excitement! You have a new home with this wonderful soul.Â
The planet is gorgeous. The ship landed out the outskirts of the city. Itâs nighttime so you can see itâs all lit up, and itâs blue. Every light is a twinkling blue.Â
âItâs beautiful!â youâd gasped. Ezra was proud to show you his home.Â
He was not originally from this planet; this is where he lives now when he isnât prospecting.Â
He owns a small house is near the outskirts. He could afford a city apartment if he wanted, but he preferred living out away from the hustle and bustle of city life. He likes his view of the trees from his living room, which are also blue.Â
His house is humble. One bedroom, one bathroom, a quaint kitchen, a small table, and a sitting area. The shelves and walls are covered in artifacts and trinkets from other worldâs heâs visited. You love it. It feels like a lived-in home.Â
âWe will have to share this bed unless you want me to take the couch?â Ezra tells you when you collapse onto his bed. Itâs been too long a day with all the space travel.Â
âI donât mind,â you tell him, and he grins easily.Â
âNo gettinâ to business tonight little bird. I gotta rest, you do too.âÂ
You nod, youâre too tired for that. Though if he wanted to, you wouldnât have said no.Â
You fell asleep that night with his body close to yours.Â
Heâs still close by when you wake up from your dream.Â
âLittle bird?â he asks waking up, rubbing his eyes with his hand. âYou alright?âÂ
You scramble out of the bed to get away from him. Your heart is beating so fast.Â
âIt was YOU,â you gasp, tears are beginning to fall.Â
âMe? Birdie, I do not have a damn idea what on this planet you are referring to.âÂ
âYou shot and killed my cousin! I saw it in my dream!!â
He sits up and tries to calm you down.Â
âLittle birdie-â
âStop calling me that!â you cry. You hug your arms around your waist.Â
âLook at me. Look at my face.â He waits til you look at him, thereâs no joke or smile on his face. His eyes are wide, and you can tell heâs upset youâre upset. âI did not kill him. I didnât even have my gun with me when I found the bodies.âÂ
You think back to when you first met him, and what you can remember from then, he didnât have a gun on him.Â
âBut it looked so real,â you sniffle.Â
âI had hoped this would not happen to you, but one of the side effects of the medicine I had given you is nightmares. Youâre on a new planet, in a new place. It would not be a surprise to me if you had weird dreams. Now as to your cousin, I do not think you will ever uncover the mystery of his death. I can recall to you what I saw again if it will ease your mind.âÂ
You sniffle again and nod.Â
He tells you what he remembers, and you do trust him. But that dream still felt so real.Â
You had been finishing up a harvest when your cousin went to look for another. Your memory is hazy after that.Â
Ezra fills in the gaps based on what he saw. Heâd seen two bodies; one was your cousin and then another man. Your harvest was gone, and there were footsteps leading in another direction. Ezra, not wanting to get into it with this guy, went the opposite way. Which is when he found your shattered helmet and blood. He followed your footprints which led him to you.Â
âSo, I killed my cousin,â you bury your face in your hands, sitting down on the bed.Â
âYou are making less and less sense,â his eyebrows crease.Â
âYou said there was a large branch and I must have tripped, so me tripping sounded the alarm causing the gunfire to go off,â you being to cry into your hands.Â
Ezra scoots closer to you to wrap and arm around you. He holds you close to him and kisses your hair while he shushes you.Â
âThat was a whole tricky situation and no oneâs fault. I have been in a sticky situation like that before and it would seem that people who are trigger happy need no cue to fire away. You are not at fault. Besides, if all this had not occurred, I might not have met the love of my life.âÂ
You look up from your hands, tears still in your eyes.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âYou heard what I said,â he kisses the shell of your ear.Â
Crying now tears of joy, you throw your arms around his neck and kiss all over his face. He topples backwards, laughing the whole way down.Â
âI love you too,â you say between kisses. âIâm sorry I accused you of murder,â you laugh.Â
He laughs, rolling over so heâs on top of you. He kisses your face and dries your tears. You start to writhe under him when you feel him beginning to harden on your thigh.Â
âWhat do you say to some breakfast and then we come back to this bed huh?âÂ
Feeling a little bold, you reach down to cup him through his sleep pants. He gasps out in surprise and buries his face in the crook of your neck.Â
âWhy leave?â you ask, unsure of what to do, but you like touching him. You continue to, until your stomach rumbles loudly. He raises an eyebrow teasing you, even though you still have your hand around his cock. âFine,â you laugh, âbreakfast first.âÂ
 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
 While Ezra makes breakfast, you look around your new home. Since the house is small and his voice carries, you ask him questions about different objects, and he rambles on from the kitchen.
There are photographs of him when he was younger, those are your favorites. Youâre looking at one particular photograph, when he had both arms and no blond streak. He looked like a completely different person.
Your thoughts are torn away when you hear him call your name.
âCould you reach that spice for me off the shelf?â His one hand is too busy to stop and reach. âJust set it down on the counter there,â he nods. âThank you.â
âYouâre welcome,â you smile and wrap your arms around him from behind. Kissing his cheek, he hums. âIâm sorry Iâm acting so strange, I think Iâm a little nervous,â you admit kissing his shoulder blade.
âWell birdie, it is no small feat to be joined in a union with another person in such an intimate fashion, especially when one is not experienced. It is a lovely thing but can be an overwhelminâ experience. I am glad to assist and ease the knot in your belly of nerves.â
âI love the way you talk,â you smile kissing his shoulder again.
âAnd I quite love the way you are holdinâ me right now.â
âIâm sorry again about this morning. Iâm sure thatâs not the morning you had in mind.â
âNo to worry. Grief and change do a wonder on your mind. I know that from losing my arm.â
âTell me how you got that blond streak in your hair,â you murmur and lean your cheek against his shoulder.
âNow that is an interesting story!â One of which he tells for the rest of the morning. And when heâs done, youâre still not sure what exactly happened. But you laughed and all but forgot about the nerves in the pit of your stomach.
So much so that when he stands and reaches out his hand for you, youâre not sure what heâs doing.
âYou ready?â he asks, motioning his head toward the bedroom. Your heart skips, but you nod, yes.
He leads you back into his room, and has you sit down on the bed. He moves around the room setting the mood. First, he pushes a button on the wall that lowers the curtains, dimming the room. He closes the door behind him and sits next to you on the bed.
âHow does this work?â you ask a little timid, but very eager.
âLay back,â he tells you. He lays down on top of you and begins to kiss your face and your lips. Anywhere his lips can kiss, he kisses. Your cheeks, your ears, your eyelids even. The tip of your nose.
Then he moves to your neck and chin and jaw. He adds some bites to your neck, and sucks on your clavicle.
âCan I?â he asks tugging on the hem of your shirt. You nod, and with his help, you pull it off exposing chest to him now. You swallow, feeling a little shy watching him eye your breasts.
Youâve never seen him so speechless. Instead of talking, he puts his mouth to use and suckles your perked nipple into his mouth. His hand cups your other breast and thumbs over your nipple. When you gasp, he sucks harder and pinches his fingers harder. Your hands fly to his hair and you pull. He growls a little and you feel slick between your legs.
âEzra?â you whine. Your breast is shiny with his saliva, and thereâs a sting left behind from his teeth and grit from his facial hair.
âWhat do you need birdie?â He murmurs into you flesh. His hand smoothing down your skin and gliding over your tummy and to the waistband of your pants.
âEzra wait,â you gasp.
âAre my ministrations too fast for your likinâ?â he questions, lips dragging along your stomach. Heâs trying to make you laugh again, or at least relax you further.
âI-â you pause.
âItâs ok,â he smiles and kisses your tummy. âHelp me?â he says tugging on your pants a little. You help him push your pants and underwear down, and you watch in equal parts arousal and embarrassment as he sees you.
He touches a pointer finger to your entrance, touching the slick gathered there. He dips inside and you arch your back feeling the drag of his finger inside. His thumb brushes your clit and you jolt.
âNow remember, I am not as well practiced with my left, so youâll have to excuse any inexperience on my part, though I do know how to please a lady.â
âEzra!â is all you can think to say when he slides a second finger in.
âBut as it seems, youâre enjoying this regardless. Thatâs good,â he smiles and presses a loud kiss to your thigh. He doesnât stop the toying with your clit. Even after you hit that first high and come around his fingers. He keeps going. Teasing you just a little more. âYou are doinâ so well my girl,â he purrs.
He looks up at you when he pulls his hand away, his grin is pure lovesick. Your eyes are hazy from the high youâve just been given, and thereâs still more to come.
âI want just one more from you before we get down to it alright?â He tells you. Heâs working his way up the bed, and youâre not sure what heâs doing. He pulls the pillows together, and he flops down on his back, his head on the pillows. âAlright little bird, câmere,â he says and taps his chin.
Taking his meaning with heat covering your body, you climb up and carefully lower yourself onto his face. His tongue and mouth ready to accept your heat. You groan in unison as he makes the first lick. Youâre still so sensitive from before, but wow it feels good.
Oh.
This is really good.
His mouth, of course, of course his mouth is as skilled in pleasure as it is in talking. His tongue moves expertly on your flesh as if heâs done this to you a million times. Youâre coming on his tongue in mere minutes.
His arm is tight around you, and you buck against him as you come down.
His eyes open, and he looks up at you, heâs quite pleased with himself.
âNow if this isnât the best view a man could have then I donât know what is,â he smiles, his eyes lingering on your breasts for a beat, then back up to your face.
Carefully, on wobbly legs, you lay down on the bed, and Ezra works to take off his pants. You lean up to look at him, heâs on his knees now, naked. Heâs stroking himself lazily, getting ready for you.
âCan I?â you sit up reaching for him.
âBe my guest,â he reassures, and you wrap your fingers around him. He winces and groans a little. âIt has been far too long since Iâve been held but someone other than my own hand.â
He feels nice, and you have the desire to keep moving your hand until he finds his high. But he pushes your hand away.
âI do appreciate the eagerness, but if you keep that up, we wonât get to all the fun. Lay down for me alright?â
You do as he asks, and he pauses for a moment. Heâs thinking.
When he gets the idea, you see it come across his face with a little âoh!â and a grin. He lays down on top of you, youâre chest to chest.
âLittle birdie, I need you to wrap your legs around me? Got it?â You nod and do as he asks. From this position you can feel the tip of him at your entrance. Putting his weight on you for a moment, he reaches down between your bodies and lines himself up with you. âThere might be a little bit of a pinch, but weâll work ya through it alright?â
You nod again, and he pushes inside. He moves his hand back up to smooth your hair out of your face. He moves slowly, watching your face, kissing you more to get you relaxed. Once heâs fully inside, he waits.
He gives you a moment to breathe, then when you give the ok, he moves. His arm is up by your head now, keeping him from putting his whole weight on you and giving him some leverage. His thrusts are steady, and your body moves with him, gasping each time he hits that spot in you.
âIt pains me that I cannot reach down to tease that lovely pussy of yours, but birdie, you gotta touch yourself for me. Can you do that?â
You slip your hand between your bodies and touch yourself in rhythm with his thrusts.
âGood girl,â he coaxes. âDonât stop,â he tells you nibbling your ear. And you donât. You keep going until you feel the high approaching. When it hits you, heâs not far behind. His cock twitches and pulses, and he comes deep inside you.
Exhaustion hits him and he puts more of his weight on you. Now with a free hand, he pushes your hand away and touches your clit again just to touch you a little one more time. That touch has you jolt, and he laughs darkly in your neck.
âEzra?â
âMmm?â he looks up at you, and you start to smooth his hair back.
âCan we do this again? Tonight?â you bite your lip.
âHmm,â he pretends to think. âIâll have to think about it.â
âEzra!â you laugh and playfully hit his chest.
âOkie,â he shrugs and begins to blow raspberries on your chest.
You stay with him then, tangled in the sheets all morning. And all afternoon, and into the evening. You can barely keep your hands off one another. And thereâs not much desire to go prospecting any time soon, not when youâve discovered something much richer in each other.
xx
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the five chances you give him (5)
pairing: suna x f!reader
note: this is the last chapter! i hope you all enjoyed :)
summary: suna knew that he was doing something wrong, but he refused to acknowledge it. therefore, you slowly dropped five major hints for him, hoping that he would notice them and take action to fix your broken relationship. suna really did notice them, he just didnât figure out in time that you were actually going to leave.
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part five: rin became rintaro; then it became suna
"oh baby... nobody said that it was going to be easy." mei cooed, her voice softer than usual. she repeatedly kissed the top of your head as you cried into her lap.
"i k-know but.." you spoke through your sobs, snot along your sleeves. "i-i really hoped t-that he would ch-change.."
it's been just over two months since you've started changing your behaviour around rin, but he didn't seem to react to itâno, he may have changed, but only a bit. it wasn't enough.
you knew that this was unavoidable, and that it had to be done. the longer it takes for you to get this over with, the longer it will take for you to get over it.
so when mei sent you home that night, she reassured you that it will all be worth it in the end, and that you will find someone better.
but the fact that he was waiting for you at the same table that you used to wait at, every single night, didn't help at all.
"where were you?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.
you stood there for a second with your shoes still on, and folded over with laughter.
his heart flutters. whens the last time you laughed in front of him?
"sorry," you sniffled through the laughter, the aftermath from crying earlier doing you no justice. "it's just that i used to sit in that same chair, waiting for you to come home, you know?"
hesitating for a moment, he decided on getting up and walking over to you, although he didn't know what to do.
"y/n." he's looking down at you now, resisting the urge to reach out and take hold of your hands.
"rintarou."
now that caught both of you off guard.
it slipped out without a second thought on your end, and you were visibly shocked.
as was suna, except he was more afraid than anything else. he knew what this meantâhe was no longer rin to you, but rintarou.
he should be grateful though, because he knew what eventually might come next. he knew that it wouldn't be rintarou for long, and that as soon as it changes, it would be over; everything would be over.
"were you crying?" he whispers, reaching out to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. except you wouldn't let him, grabbing his wrist in time. Godâmei would be so proud; as would that kind lady from the cafe.
"why should you care?" you spat, letting go of his wrist to remove your shoes.
"because im your boyfriend." he said, although you didn't miss the quiver in his voice from that last word, as if he wasn't so sure anymore.
you move past him and head straight for the bathroom; but suna didn't miss it. he heard what you mumbled on your way outâand it had him slumped against the wall (when you were out of sight, that is)
his fists are clenched and his heart is beating a little too fast, but he can't get his mind off of what you said.
"yea, well not for long"
five words, and yet they seemed to foreshadow his future.
-
there were two possible reasons that you could be waking him up at 10 in the morning.
you were either waking him up to tell him that it was over, and that you were leaving, or that it was over, and that he had to leave.
turns out there was a third reason.
"do you have practice today?" you asked, your voice a whisper.
"yeah.. why?" he got up into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. its been a while since you last entered this room, moving all your things to the guest room.
"oh. nevermind." you make a gesture to leave but he panics and grabs your arm. this could be an opportunity, and he wasn't about to lose it.
"i could um.. take the day off." he nods his head.
"are you sure?" when he nods his head yet again, your features soften.
"okay, well get dressed. i feel like going to a theme park."
you leave the room before he has a chance to answer, but he complies anyways.
his mind wanders to the picture that he broke in the heat of the moment awhile backâthe one where you were both smiling at an amusement park, kids laughing in the bakground.
-
"let's go on that one!" you exclaim, pointing at the rollercoaster.
a soft grin takes over your faceâand while it may not be your typical energetic one, at least it was still there.
now, suna wasn't a big fan of rollercoasters. he prefered to have you go on them, while he took the photos, but today's been the first time in a while that he's actually seen you happy, and he wanted to keep it that way.
you've been here all day, and it was already pretty dark, so they might be closing soon anyways.
when the cart had finally come back around, you and rin got on, with a guy slipping in on your side.
"you guys here together?" he asked, looking over you to make eye contact with suna.
you nodded, and he chuckled.
"im here with my girlfriend, but she doesn't like roller coasters as much as i do."
now you and him are making small talk, and suna is resisting the urge to tell the guy to shut up, and to go back to his own girlfriend.
when the ride finally starts, he feels relieved, even slipping his hand into your own.
your hand tenses, and he looks up to find a look of guilt soaked into your features.
he quickly unravels his hand from yours, settling it into his lap and looking away. he got too carried away to remember that a day of rides and fun wasnt enough to fix his mistakes.
as the ride starts climbing upwards, fear pumps through his veins.
he shuts his eyes, dreading the fall.
when it finally came, he opened his eyes and hugged himself to keep from screaming.
he looks over to you, and his heart does that thing againâit flutters.
with your hands in the air, your screams adorning his ears, he fell in love. all over again.
the moonlight caressed your pretty features as your eyes shut in pure bliss, and suna found tears falling out of his own.
the tears fell but he didn't sobânot once. you didn't look his way eitherânot once.
instead he looked away, quickly wiping the tears before someone could catch him. he missed this; he missed you.
when you two got off the ride later, he wonders if you would ever go to another theme park with him.
-
when you decide to leave, suna finds an employee walking around the park with a polaroid camera.
he asks him to take a picture of you, and places it in his wallet. he can't break it this time.
suna misses the look of guilt that slips past your face, as if it were never there.
-
when the car pulls into the parking lot, and you both get out, suna realizes that you weren't walking beside him.
he panics and turns around, where he finds you smiling. tears in your eyes.
"thank you for today, suna."
he freezes. he can't move anymore. he can't think.
"don't be silly. let's go inside." he's walking again, but when he doesn't hear a second set of footsteps, the tears wash over him.
"why aren't you coming?" his voice cracks as the tears stream down his face.
"i'm going to mei's. it's-it's over." you smile, wiping continuously at your eyes.
"y/n please, we can talk about this." he's running over to you, taking hold of your shoulders as he bends down to make eye contact. "we're fixable, okay? i promise we are." he doesn't make move to wipe away the tears that are falling.
you wipe away his tears, pulling him into a hug. "i'm so sorry."
he wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, afraid of having you slip out of his grasp. "please, don't leave me. i'll do anything, just give me another chance. i need you."
you wriggle out of his arms, and his fists clench at his sides.
"i gave you chances. i gave you too many. i have to go."
you're running now, and he can't decide if he should run after you or not. has he not caused you enough pain?
instead, he falls to his knees and cries.
that was it. he lost youâhe lost everything.
the polaroid picture was burning a hole through his wallet.
-
when he finally musters up the courage to check the guest room a few days later, he sees all your things packed up in boxes.
you had it all planned out, didn't you?
-
when mei comes later that day to pick up your things, she finds suna curled into a ball on the guest room floor.
"suna. wake up."
his eyes open slowly, and she finds them red, his eyebags puffy and cheeks tear-stained.
"is y/n gonna come back?" he asks, his voice nothing more than a whisper.
mei shakes her head, and suna cries again.
she looks away, thanking the heavens that she wasn't in a relationship. she couldn't help but pity him as she collected her best friend's things, suna's sobs as a sort of background noise.
she couldn't be surprisedâthe lost of your entire world was enough to make any grown man cry.
-
heartbreak isnât easy, but sunaâs heart hurts without you. where he sleeps, where he bathes, it all reeks of your touch.
youâre everywhere here, all memories playing back to him like a movie. heâs reminded of you, and recovering addicts donât test themselves; they dont stay around said addiction to see if they can restrain themselves.
and so suna moves out, running from the place that youâve drenched in your presence.
he leaves the polaroid picture on the table.
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